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testicle eating fish in illinois!

When biologists say the pacu fish eats nuts, they may be correct in more ways than one.

The pacu, a toothy fish that can weigh up to 55 pounds, has been spotted in Lake Lou Yaeger in Illinois, KSDK reports.

Responding to a report that a fisherman had reeled in a piranha on June 7, lake superintendent Jim Caldwell brought the fish to the Illinois Department of Natural Resources, where it was identified as a pacu. Some reports say another pacu was seen a couple of weeks later.

Caldwell said he is still swimming in the lake nearly every day. Pacus primarily eat nuts, aquatic vegetation and snails, he told KDSK, and pose no real threat to humans.

Residents of Papua New Guinea may beg to differ. There, according to British fisherman Jeremy Wade, the pacu is known as the "ball cutter." In 2011, Wade said locals informed him that two fisherman had died from blood loss after something in the water had bitten off their testicles, according to the Metro.

"The locals told me that this thing was like a human in the water, biting at the testicles of fishermen," Wade said.

Wade determined that the perpetrator was the pacu, which is known for having human-like teeth. The angler did note that such attacks are uncommon, the Daily Mail reports.

Though pacus are native to the Amazon Basin, they were released into Papua New Guinea waters in the 1990s as part of an initiative to boost fisheries.

Biologists say any pacus in the Illinois lake are most likely former aquarium pets, according to the Journal-News.Anyone caught dumping the fish in the lake could face criminal charges.

—000

Pauline Potter became the world's heaviest living woman last year, weighing in at a whopping 643 pounds. Now, Potter has her sights set on losing weight, and she's turned to marathon sex sessions to help shed the pounds.

In an interview with the UK's Closer magazine, Potter described how her reignited sex life with ex-husband Alex has helped her lose 98 pounds.

“I can’t move much in bed, but I burn 500 calories a session –- it’s great exercise just jiggling around," Potter told Closer. Potter, who had been consuming 10,000 calories a day, hopes to reach her goal weight of 532 pounds with the help of Alex. The two have sex up to seven times each day.

She makes sure to have some fun, too.

“We love foreplay and massages and, as well as full sex, I pleasure Alex, too," she told the magazine. "My bed is strengthened and, although I can’t buy sexy lingerie, I drape a nice sheet over me.”

After meeting online in 2002, the couple married in 2005 and, when Potter failed to bond with Alex's son, the two split up three years later. The break-up triggered Potter's weight gain. She began consuming copious amounts of high-calorie foods and packed on the pounds.

With all the extra weight on her, Potter became depressed. She contacted the Guinness Book of World Records in hopes that winning the title of "World's Heaviest Woman" would shame her into losing weight.

When Alex got wind of the publicity surrounding Potter, he decided to visit her and the flame was quickly rekindled.

“Within the first day of being back together we had sex six times in 24 hours," Alex told the Sun last November. “Even though one of Pauline’s legs weighs more than I do, we’re able to position her body to make sex enjoyable for both of us."

Alex, who weighs just 140 pounds, does most of the work in the bedroom.

“It’s really dangerous for us to have sex because at any moment the bed could collapse and one or both of us could be seriously injured or even killed from the impact," he told the Sun.

But using sex for weight loss is not an unheard of activity.

"Shagging can make you slimmer, if you do enough of it," Dr. Yvonne Kristin Fulbright, a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc., wrote for Fox News in 2008. "It can also help the two of you fall for each other all over again. Requiring no monthly fee — dress code optional – you can 'sexercise' yourself into shape. This is one gym membership you’ll never want to drop."

Dr. Fulbright, who has contributed to The Huffington Post and who earned her Ph.D. in International Community Health Studies at New York University, also writes that a good "sexercise" routine can not only lead to weight loss, but also to improved blood flow, strengthening of the heart, better cholesterol, better sleep, more energy, improved muscle tone and decreased stressed.

While Potter's sex life is speeding at full-throttle, she's also reined in her eating habits. She no longer eats 10,000 calories per day, though she still enjoys the occasional Big Mac.

—000

This is why the UFC needs a Super Heavyweight division.

—ZT-In

you go girl

—catloaf

Florida police captain charged after teen claims he made her strip

MIRAMAR, Fla. – A South Florida police captain has been arrested on charges that he forced a 15-year-old girl to disrobe so he could check whether she was having sex.

Broward County prosecutors say 46-year-old Miramar police Capt. Juan De Los Rios is facing two counts of lewd and lascivious conduct by an adult against a minor. Each count carries a potential 15-year prison sentence.

Authorities say De Los Rios encountered the girl and a 19-year-old man in the back seat of a car. The two told him they were just talking and not having sex. But prosecutors say De Los Rios told the girl to take off her clothes so he could make sure.

A 28-year veteran, De Los Rios is suspended without pay.

Court records did not list a defense attorney.

—000

The years of anticipation for Diablo III have brought about a number of marathon play sessions since its release on May 15, but one fan's obsession with the game has proven fatal. An 18-year old Diablo III player in Taiwan was found dead recently after a 40-hour marathon session with the game, reports the Australian Associated Press.

The player, who has only been identified as Chuang, reportedly booked a room at his local Internet café before diving into the game, not stopping for sleep or food the entire time. An employee of the café found him passed out on a table Sunday.

He woke up when approached, but collapsed after a few steps and was rushed to a hospital where he was later pronounced dead. An autopsy is pending, but authorities noted that the long period of sitting still could have created blood clots, which proved fatal.

Sadly, it's not the first game-marathon-related death in Taiwan this year. In February, Chen Rong-yu had a fatal heart attack while playing in an Internet café in Taipei while playing online smash hit, League of Legends. Fellow players, though, didn't notice he had died for another nine hours.

Deaths in Internet cafes are rare, but happen from time to time when players concentrate so intensely on their games, that they ignore factors like the body's need for sleep and food.

Last year, a 30 year-old Chinese gamer died after staying up for three consecutive days, barely eating or drinking anything. And last August, 20 year-old Chris Staniforth suffered a pulmonary embolism after a marathon session on his Xbox.

The deaths underscore the risk of game addiction, which more and more people are becoming worried about as the industry grows.

—000

just woke up from my nap and am infuriated to find out that fred willard lost his job because he was caught masturbating at a porn theater. wtf does that have to do with anything. he's an old man. jesus

—mandee

You're not supposed to masturbate in porn theaters? I thought it was like a compliment.

—ZT-In

i thought that's what you're supposed to do.

—mandee

where in the world does a porn theater still exist?

—Kevin-U-in-Depression

Colfax? Probably a few others around Denver too.

—ZT-In

somebody ought to teach old people how to use the internet

—Margin Walker

Why are some people defending George Zimmerman? I understand people saying he deserves a fair trial. I get that. But there are people out there that think he did nothing wrong and that he's a good guy. Is it just because they hate black people?

Zimmerman is a piece of shit. I hope someone in jail feels threatened by him and kills him in prison.

—acm

Shooting at Colorado movie theater leaves 14 dead, 50 wounded
Fourteen people are dead and 50 others wounded after a gunman in a suburb outside Denver opened fire during a midnight showing of the Batman movie the "Dark Knight Rises," the police chief said at a press conference.
By Rong-Gong Lin II

July 20, 2012, 2:48 a.m.

Fourteen people are dead and 50 others wounded after a gunman in a suburb outside Denver opened fire during a midnight showing of the Batman movie the "Dark Knight Rises," the police chief said at a press conference.

The suspect is in custody, Aurora police chief Daniel J. Oates told reporters. "This is a horrific event," Aurora police chief Daniel J. Oates said during a press conference carried live by local TV stations.

Oates said 10 people were found dead in the theater, and four died at local hospitals.

Denver's NBC affiliate, 9News, reported that the gunman entered the movie theater minutes after the movie began, released a canister, and witnesses heard a hissing sound and saw smoke. The suspect now in custody was found outside the theater holding a rifle and a handgun.

9News reported that the suspect indicated to police that his apartment building might have explosives, and authorities are evacuating that structure and searching for possible explosives.

—stellagold

Started a thread when I heard, but didn't see that Stella beat me to this.

http://youtu.be/T7sIiqq66rk Something like 30 wounded and 10 dead who were at a midnight Dark Knight screening. With the fires, and the City Park shooting and now this, 2012 has sucked for us.

....

Scratch that, something like 14 killed and 50 wounded.

• http://www.denverpost.com/breakingnews/ci_21118201/unknown-number-people-shot-at-aurora-movie-theater

Colorado :(

—ZT-In

"You have the right person," she said. "I need to call the police," she added. "I need to fly out to Colorado."

His mother

I guess she knew he was a sicko. She's not in denial.

—acm

he is most definitely a psychopath.

—mandee

It's weird. Columbine was in the same county as my high school, and this guy was part of the University of Colorado system (medical campus in Aurora, not in Boulder). I feel like I've been just slightly institutionally removed from two of the most horrific massacres to occur in the United States.

I want to go see Batman in Denver tonight (I wasn't going to see it, but now I'm sure I will, as close to midnight as possible), for the same reason I wanted to go to listen to Jazz at City Park the weekend after the shooting there. We will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. We will face our fear. We will permit it to pass over us and through us. And when it has gone past we will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only we will remain.

Then I will get beer (from one of Colorado's amazing microbreweries). I will drink my beer. I will permit the beer to pass through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn to the urinal. Where the beer has gone, only a pink cake remains.

—ZT-In

i read a book about columbine, so i'm kind of an expert in all things. feel free to ask me questions. thank you.

—mandee

I want to go see Batman in Denver tonight (I wasn't going to see it, but now I'm sure I will, as close to midnight as possible)

it was all a publicity stunt to get people to go see the new Batman movie, and you bought right into it. I wish.

—catloaf

the guy dyed his hair red and told cops he was "the joker"

—pookie

really wish his picture wasn't posted because he is "my type" and now i'm forced to feel weird.

—mandee

i hate to say this, but when i saw his pic, the first thing i thought was that he reminds me of our little anfernee

—catloaf

• 10 things that contribute to a healthier life

—pookie

i read a book about columbine, so i'm kind of an expert in all things. feel free to ask me questions. thank you.

—mandee

Ooh! Mandee, I got one for you. Wasn't there a girl who was put in a wheelchair because of the Colombine shooters? And didn't her mom later kill herself because she couldn't deal with all the shit going on in her family's life?

Am I remembering this correctly?

If so...what a fucking bitch! I would hate my mom forever if she did that to me.

—acm

i read a book about columbine, so i'm kind of an expert in all things. feel free to ask me questions. thank you.

Is the book titled Columbine? by Dave Cullen? That's the one I read. Nothing shockingly revealing, except maybe that they were troublemakers and the local police had files on them, not really the social outcasts the media portrayed them to be, and that they were kinda born with the role of psychopaths.

—HocusPocus

yeah that's the one.
the local police trying to hide the files they had on eric harris is pretty shocking. eric was the psychopath and dylan was more of a follower. he was hardcore depressed.
i was 11 when all of this happened and i just kind of heard the rumors that these guys were loners/goths and were bullied, so it was pretty interesting to me that this wasn't true.
james holmes is probably pretty similar to eric harris.

—mandee

also after viewing more pictures of holmes, i'm no longer attracted to him. good news.

alison - that is true. but the mother was already pretty mentally ill before her daughter was shot.

—mandee

Saw Mulholland Drive at the Esquire Theater last night at midnight. All things considered, it was way fucking creepy.

—ZT-In

That's my favorite movie.

—stellagold

gossip gurls: my cousin went to high school with the shooter

—mandee

My brother went to UCR around the same time as the shooter. Pretty sure he didn't know him. I would have heard by now.

—acm

One of my friends has the last name Harris, and days after the Columbine incident occurred, he went around telling people that Eric Harris was a cousin of his. His mom got very mad at him.

—HocusPocus

lqtm.

—acm

Man Raped To Death By His Six Wives

His fame and financial breakthrough pushed him into having up to six wives. His love for sex equally contributed to his patronage of the most beautiful girls in Ugbugbu Owukpa, Ogbadibo Local government area of Benue State where a man who was identified as Uroko Onoja was allegedly raped to death by his 6 jealous wives in the early hour of Tuesday.
Trouble started on tuesday morning, precisely 3 am when Uroko returned from Ochanja, a popular joint in the small community of Ugbugbu and headed to the room of his youngest wife. The other wives who according to the youngest wife, Odachi had a meeting before Uroko returned home invaded her room with knives and sticks, demanding that their husband have sex with all of them at once. Uroko who resisted their attack was overpowered by the women who ordered that the sex march begin with the youngest wife and to continue in that order to the top.
Our correspondent reported that Uroko stopped breathing when the fifth woman was making her way to the bed. “Suddenly, my husband stopped breathing, and they all ran out, still laughing, but when they saw that I could not resuscitate him, they all ran into the forest.
As at the time this report was filed, 2 of the wives have been arrested.

—000

Man Vanquishes Robot Cop, Droid 'hurled through door'

The ongoing Rise of the Machines to their inevitable dominance over humanity faltered last week, when a police robot tangled with a human being in hand to hand combat - and was handed a severe beating.

The mechanical law officer in question had been sent into a home in Connecticut to deal with an unnamed man, reportedly a former boyfriend of a woman living there, who had arrived and refused to leave.

The obstreperous ex-boyf - who police say had gone to sleep and was rudely awakened by the droid's entrance - dealt with the tin cop harshly, "throwing the robot out the front door", according to the local Republican-American.

Fleshy colleagues of the defeated law-bot, evidently unwilling to tangle mano-a-mano with an opponent who could overpower a cutting-edge enforcement mechanoid, were compelled to use "beanbag" riot projectiles to bring him down. (In fairness to the human cops one should note that the man was reportedly armed with a shotgun.)

Having been successfully beanbagged into submission, the man was subsequently cuffed and conveyed to the local cooler. The tin cop is expected to return to duty after repairs.

—000

Navy: Sub worker set fire so he could leave early

Casey James Fury, 24, said he started the first of two fires after becoming anxious over a texting exchange with his former girlfriend.

PORTLAND — The shipyard worker accused of starting the fire that did $400 million in damage to a Navy nuclear submarine made his first court appearance this afternoon.

Fury initially denied any involvement in the fires, but later admitted setting the small fire June 16 outside the submarine which was quickly extinguished. He said he started that fire after becoming anxious over a texting exchange with his former girlfriend and that he wanted to leave work, the court papers said.

During a polygraph exam, Fury also admitted to setting the May 23 fire by igniting rags in a state room, the court papers say.

Fury had been working to strip paint from the forward area of the submarine just before the fire broke out there, the court papers say. Fury admitted to starting the fire using rags.

The fire burned for 10 hours before shipyard firefighters and fire departments from three states were able to bring it under control. Nobody died but there were minor injuries.

The Navy is in the process of determining whether to repair the submarine or scrap it.

Fury said he was suffering from anxiety the night he set the fire, a condition for which he takes several medications. He also takes medication for depression and insomnia. A few days after the June fire, Fury checked himself in to an in-patient mental health hospital for two days.

If convicted, Fury could face life in prison and be ordered to pay restitution, according to a statement by the U.S. Attorney for the District of Maine, Thomas Delahanty II.

—000

best headline ever:

Swedish police are looking for a man having sex with sheep. Latest reports say he's still on the lamb

• actual article

—pookie

this explains a lot:

OMG Facts ‏@OMGFacts

The most commonly requested last meal before execution of inmates on Death Row is french fries.

—pookie

Obama Is Muslim, the Sun Orbits the Earth, and Other Things 1 in 5 Americans Believes

With all the challenges we face today, somehow the big news this week has been that one out of every five Americans thinks President Obama is a secret Muslim. Apparently, quoting Scripture and attending church for decades just can't compete with having Hussein as your middle name and semi-supporting the so-called "Ground Zero mosque" on constitutional grounds.

I've already explained why this poll result is both ridiculous and irrelevant over at my Belief Beat blog, but I suspect that logic and reason aren't much help here. So, to give this some much-needed context and a bit of levity, here are some more things that a quick Google search reveals about one in five Americans:

* Is excessively sleepy
* Speaks a foreign language at home
* Pees in swimming pools
* Smokes cigarettes
* Thinks that buying lottery tickets constitutes a sound retirement plan
* Lives below the poverty line
* Thinks aliens and witches walk among us
* Prefers a pet to a human on Valentine's Day
* Believes the sun revolves around the earth
* Was undecided about participating in the Census
* No longer uses a land line phone
* Enjoys birdwatching
* Has a disability
* Can't afford medical care
* Thinks the First Amendment gives us too much freedom

And, my personal favorite: one American in five still doesn't use the Internet. So, chances are there are more of you reading this post than there are Americans out there who genuinely believe that Obama is Muslim -- or something like that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to get some more sleep before the mothership returns. Adios!

—pookie

We don't know if he's a Muslim. We don't know if he's a Christian either. Same goes with me. I could be lying about being a Christian.

Only Obama knows what he truly believes.

—acm

Why don't people say things like that about Romney?

—ZT-In

so by that same logic, we don't know if romney is a mormon or a voodoo priest?

—pookie

Is there a difference?

—ZT-In

Uh...I agree.

NEXT CALLER!

—acm

Bob Dylan is said to be releasing a song about Titanic that's 14 minutes long...

So Tim Heidecker released one that's 15 minutes long.

—HocusPocus

—000

• cow milk allergies

—pookie

Man loses hand to alligator, fined $500

Man who lost hand to alligator charged with unlawful feeding

Talk about adding insult to injury: An Everglades tour guide who lost his hand to an alligator last month was arrested over the weekend, charged with unlawful alligator feeding.
Wallace Weatherholt, a 63-year-old airboat captain, was leading a tour on June 12 when the group encountered a 9-foot alligator. Passengers told the Fort Myers News-Press that Weatherholt "hung a fish over the side of the boat and had his hand at the water's surface when the alligator attacked."
Wildlife officials then tracked and killed the alligator, according to the paper. They "retrieved Weatherholt's hand from its stomach, but doctors were unable to reattach it."
Weatherholt was charged with unlawful feeding, a second-degree misdemeanor, on Friday. He posted $1,000 and was released from Collier County Jail.
Feeding alligators is illegal in the state of Florida, where at least 19 people have been cited in the last two years, according to West Palm Beach's WPTV. The charges carry a fine of up to $500 and possible jail time.
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/man-hand-gator-charged-feeding-151153914.html

—000

^ what a maroon

—pookie

Ecstasy Pills Cause Memory Problems

Taking 10 or More Pills a Year Linked to Immediate and Short-Term Memory Problems

July 27, 2012 -- People who use the club drug ecstasy (MDMA) can develop memory problems, a new study shows.

In the study, new ecstasy users who took 10 or more ecstasy pills during their first year showed problems with their immediate and short-term memory.

The researchers say the memory problems may not be immediately apparent. Ecstasy users may not notice the problems until permanent damage has been done. The memory issues are associated with damage of an area of the brain called the hippocampus, which is responsible for memory.

The study compared 23 new users of the drug to 43 people who didn't use any illicit drugs besides cannabis. On average, study participants who used ecstasy took 33 pills over the course of one year.

"Given the specific memory impairments, our findings may raise concerns in regard to MDMA use, even in recreational amounts over a relatively short time period," says study researcher Daniel Wagner, in an email. He is a psychologist at the Klinik fur Psychiatrie und Psychotherapie in Cologne, Germany.

The study is published in the journal Addiction.

"People often take ecstasy in combination with other substances, including alcohol and cocaine. And they often take it at parties, dances, and raves where they may become dehydrated and at risk for all sorts of physiological health problems," says Bruce Goldman, director of substance abuse services at the Zucker Hillside Hospital in Glen Oaks, N.Y.

And that's not all. "Ecstasy makes you feel all lovey-dovey. And this can lead to impaired judgment about sex," he says. In these scenarios, ecstasy puts people at risk for sexually transmitted diseases including HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

Ecstasy is also highly addictive, Goldman says. Research from the National Institute on Drug Abuse showed that 43% of teens and young adults who use ecstasy are addicted. "Use of ecstasy is dangerous even if it's done occasionally."

Harris Stratyner, PhD, agrees. He is the vice president of the New York Clinical Regional Services at Caron Treatment Centers in New York City. He has seen how this drug can destroy lives.

"Ecstasy is an extremely dangerous hallucinogenic drug and we have known that for years," he says. "Even just going to a rave and taking one ecstasy pill puts you at risk for becoming overheated." Severe overheating can damage vital organs or lead to death.

"Using as little as 10 pills of ecstasy a year can have a deleterious effect on short-term memory and may even have a greater effect on all cognitive function," he says.

—pookie

Matrix director loses his hamdangle, now a SHE

http://www.inquisitr.com/288214/matrix-director-larry-wachowski-now-a-she/

Matrix director Larry Wachowski is now a ‘she’, after undergoing a sex-change operation.

For some time now, the film director has been answering to ‘Lana Wachowksi’, and says she has been “transitioning” from male to female for a number of years. At a Los Angeles movie promo last week, Wachowski showed up in a gray dress and fuchsia dreadlocks, announcing in a German accent: “Hi, I’m Lana.”

It isn’t known whether the Matrix director’s public switching of genders is complete yet, but this was far from Wachowski’s first big public appearance as Lana: she was appearing in public as early as 2004, at events such as the San Diego Comic-Con.

In her most recent showing, Lana popped up in a trailer for her new film, Cloud Atlas. The credits for the sci-fi film, based on a novel by British writer David Mitchell, feature the name ‘Lana Wachowski.’ Yet again, this isn’t the first time Lana has been credited as such: in the 2012 documentary Side by Side, she is interviewed and credited as Lana Wachowski.

Tom Hanks and Halle Berry star in Cloud Atlas, and in a fitting twist, the pair swap names and genders in the production.

Matrix director Larry Wachowski filed for divorce in 2002, after rumors about his sex life culminated in the director being photographed in a Los Angeles S&M club, The Dungeon.

After separating from his wife, the former carpenter snapped up a $2.7 million San Francisco mansion, adding the name ‘Laurencia Wachowski’ to the title deeds of the property.

—000

pretty awesome

—mandee

Never bet on sequels being better than the originals, see what happens.

—ZT-In