The
Loveline
Companion

and by sticky I mean cum.

There's this guy that I have been talking to at work. He' always texting me and has made it clear that he really likes me. I made a mistake by sending him my infamous mirror semi-nudes. He added me on facebook a couple weeks ago, and the following day sent me a text asking me to come over his place around midnight. He lives with 3 other dudes so I ain't trying to get ganged banged. I really wanna hang out with him as a friend, but that's not what he wants. So should I just fuck him and play a dead frog in bed so he can eventually get bored with me, or just never speak to him again?

and let's not forget I am still living at home and cannot afford to move out. So any trace or signs of fuckery going on will get land me into the streets.

—L_to_the_A is back!

No straight man will ever want to hang out with you as just friends - ever.

What would you possibly gain by letting him fuck you and get dissatisfied with bad sex? If you go to his place, I'd say there's not much of a chance of a gang bang situation.

Oh, and I am sure you can afford to move out - I don't know why you always insist that you can't, maybe it's because you like having familial and cultural boundaries, and you're afraid if you didn't have them you'd spin out of control?

—Kevin-U-in-Depression

lol "signs of fuckery"

don't do it lena

—catloaf

Yeah, fuck him with the intention of playing dead frog. You'll either start to enjoy it and change your mind, or he'll think you're a shitty fuck and won't attempt to booty call you for awhile. Either way, you'll have to wait a least a few months (in the neighborhood of 6 to 9) before you can be "just friends" with a guy you sent n00dz too.

Don't send n00dz to guys that you wouldn't fuck, unless you're getting paid.

And, I agree with Kevin, yes you can afford to move out.

—ZT-In

you need to get your own place. just make that a priority. you're 26/27? and your mom is going to get mad if she finds out you're having sex?

do not have sex with someone if you don't want to. you will regret it and will feel awful and you won't be able to get rid of that feeling. i wish i had followed this advice. for real.

you also can't send n00dz to a guy and then be surprised when he wants to fuck you. just stop contacting him all together. find another friend.

aaaand finally, just because a guy has roommates does not mean you have to fuck them as well. however, this does not apply at my apartment. everyone who enters has to fuck all 3 of us.

—mandee

Ok I lied, I can afford to move out, I just don't want to pay $600 every month. It's nice to have someone text you every day asking about your day and if you slept good, but it's not going to last forever. He will eventually give up. My co-worker warned me about him, she said that he's part of the single guys club who spot out women who are either vulnerable or experienced at work. He already hinted that he slept with "some of the sluts in the ER". Now I don't want to end up on his slut list, but at the same time I don't want to miss out on a good time. Decisions!

—L_to_the_A is back!

maybe you can have "a good time" outside of work. you should be grossed out by this guy.
so are you just going to live at home forever? get a roommate and you can pay less.

—mandee

I've already told my mom about him. Her advice is don't have sex if he's not committed. My mom is 63, she needs me.

—L_to_the_A is back!

make your mom a jdate profile

—mandee

if she "needs" you then signs of fuckery shouldn't land you in the street. still, DON'T DO IT

—catloaf

god damn mandee, that shit is funny!

—L_to_the_A is back!

Lena, you have absolutely no street smarts whatsoever. None!

Did you ever pay attention to any episodes of loveline? I mean...what the fuck?

You're pushing thirty and the fact that you have zero insight into the male brain isn't cute anymore. You aren't nineteen. This isn't an enduring quality. Get some goddamn therapy!

—acm

Lena - ask your self "what would Chael Sonnen do?"

—ZT-In

Did you read my post? I know how a male's mind works. My question is what's the best way to end this? Make him bored, or just end things?

—L_to_the_A is back!

—acm

Did you read my post? I know how a male's mind works. My question is what's the best way to end this? Make him bored, or just end things? —L_to_the_A is back!

Just end things if you want to end things.

—ZT-In

$600/mo is pretty cheap. With how many roommates?

—he sounds like a delight

the fact that you consider fucking him so that he'll lose interest is so backward and nonsensical - it would definitely label you a slut in his mind, the pictures probably already did that. If you're going to make emotionless sport fucking your thing, at least do it with guys that you are attracted to, and you wouldn't mind a short term FWB with.

oh, and 1 more thing, MOVE THE FUCK OUT, NOOWWWW - no excuses, no rationalizing, don't let fear or the unknown future into the equation, you have to go live on your own, YOU HAVE TO, YOU HAVE TO, YOU HAVE TO.

—Kevin-U-in-Depression

^that

—catloaf

$600/mo is pretty cheap. With how many roommates?

—he sounds like a delight

None. It's for a studio apt. You also have to make 2x the rent, and I'm barely making less than $1200.

it would definitely label you a slut in his mind, the pictures probably already did that.

Really? Sending nudes 2 weeks after talking to a guy makes you a slut? We need an acronym for slut.

Sexually
Liberated
Utilitarian...hot
Tamale

I feel like being evil. I'm just going to keep sending him nudes and ignore him at work. That should drive him crazy. He already got hurt because I told him I was going to hang out with him on my breaks and instead I walked past his security desk into the office.

—L_to_the_A is back!

Sending nudes 2 weeks after talking to a guy makes you a slut?

meh, kinda. maybe not a slut per se but definitely a prospective slut. i'd put it in the realm of slutty behavior at least. but, yanno, cannot judge.

—catloaf

Well simone says that you should wait at least 10 dates before having any physical contact or maybe even sending sexy texts.

10 dates = 2 and half months. Assuming you're going out once a week.

—L_to_the_A is back!

just so you know, all of his friends have seen your pix too

—mandee

and his friends' friends, and their friends, etc.

—catloaf

I think it's strange how his roommates all added me on facebook a couple hours later after I accepted him. They all work at the hospital too, so now I have to nod and say hi to each one. I'm pretty sure he went around showing everyone my pic, including his lesbian security guard co-workers, even though he denied it. I like how sly he is when he asked me for a nude. His text went like this:

Him:send me a pic
me:all of my pics are on facebook
him:whatever, i want a special one
me:do you mean nude pic?
Him:well, are you offering?
me:maybe
Him:yes!

then he started calling me hun, after i sent it.

—L_to_the_A is back!

leenie, you think you understand the male mind, but you keep making massive rookie mistakes.

you want to be just friends with a guy you WORK WITH, but you send him noodz?

you think that just because a guy has roommates (ALSO YOUR WORKMATES), that means going to his place means you'll get gang-banged?

you think having sex with him but playing dead frog will lead to being just friends?

and on and on and on. i fear for you. you keep putting yourself into situations where you are in way over your head. i think you need to stay at home, because at this rate, you will either lose your job or feel the need to quit. you also need some restraint so you don't do something that gets you into deep doo doo.

you are like the proverbial spring kept under the thumb that is suddenly let loose. instead of taking small, incremental steps toward adult freedom and independence, you suddenly decided to spring out of control and overcompensate for your prior years of repression.

why don't you take the road down the middle and just be normal instead of vacillating between super prudish and super slutty?

—pookie

Leena, what pookie is saying is fly to Denver and we'll live together and have lots of sex and I'll teach you about men.

... Actually pookie's not saying at all like that but... You know, I'm dowm.

—ZT-In

She's like one step from moving in with Masteel and fucking him.

—Mayonnaise

How would I possibly lose my job over this? According to him he states that he's slept with some of the young girls that work in the ER, which I believe. I don't think he's looking for a relationship, he has a female friend and their relationship is platonic. Yes I did send him one nude and we talk about sex via text, but it's not like I slept with him. I don't see him very often at work. The worse thing that could happen is if he goes around showing people my pic and tell everyone that I'm all talk, no action, but there are over 1000 employees at the hospital and he would only make himself look bad. This is an adult situation, but adults need to understand that people sleep with each other and eventually move on. I can always just let him know that I don't want to speak with him again, and put this all behind me.

I did have another text convo and he brought up having a threesome with his female friend. He's younger than me and I think he's just trying to get everything out of his system.

—L_to_the_A is back!

good well written advice pookerz! unfortunately it's not gonna be heeded any more than all the other advice given in threads lena started asking for help were, but nice job all the same.

are you gonna meet up with the guy outside of work lena? or just in the stairwell/janitor closet.

—stellagold

I feel like being evil. I'm just going to keep sending him nudes and ignore him at work. That should drive him crazy. He already got hurt because I told him I was going to hang out with him on my breaks and instead I walked past his security desk into the office.

—L_to_the_A is back!

You, know...a while back plurry said you were a deeply disturbed person. I think he called you a sociopath. I thought he was out of line. But when I read things like this? Yeah, the label fits.

No one appreciates being jerked around, Lena. How would you like it if someone purposely led you on and laughed about it behind your back? It's something only a complete bitch cunt would do.

You are in serious need of therapy. Like, once a week for the rest of your life.

—acm

Lena just doesn't have the social skillz that people who have been playing the game for a long time do.

Like Type-O Negative said, "Don't Mistake Lack of Talent for Genius" (or antisocial personality disorder).

RIP Peter.

—ZT-In

thanks, stel.

lena, the fact that you have no idea how this can possibly cost you your job shows that you have no clue about the male mind or human nature in general.

—pookie

the advice here is so solid I have nothing to add other than don't fuck around at work unless it's for love. When it's casual it's just not worth it

edit:

unless she has big boobs. amirite Dusty?

—bguirk

lena is an evil genius, she knows exactly what she's doing.

—catloaf

In that case, Lena you can send me n00dz and come to Colorado to have dead frog sex with me (I don't have roommates so it won't be a gang bang), if that's you're evil plan, count me in. Or you can just send me n00dz and otherwise completely ignore me.

I mean it's cool just taking to you on TLC, but you could think of it as a science experiment to see how men react in these kinds of scenarios.

Don't think of it as FWB, think of me as your romantic sparring partner.

—ZT-In

I have a feeling that he's the evil one here. He has already gotten in trouble by his co-worker because he tried to fuck his co-worker's daughter. He sought me out, and initiated the pics, trying to get me to come over his place AFTER midnight all in a span of two weeks. He's moving too fast, a real gentleman wouldn't do that. I was just minding my own business and he's begging for my ass.

—L_to_the_A is back!

You're right. Gentleman don't beg for ass, they just take it and thank you in the morning.

—ZT-In

He's moving too fast, a real gentleman wouldn't do that

i insist you post all the nudes he sent you

—catloaf

He has a lot of female haters at work. Nobody is going to believe him if he says anything about me.

He wanted to send me his cock pic, and told me that females tell him that he's big. Then he asked if I was bi-sexual and asked if I was willing to engage in a threesome with him and his friend. (I am assuming he has female friends that sit around waiting to be booked for threesomes).

—L_to_the_A is back!

(I am assuming he has female friends that sit around waiting to be booked for threesomes)

lol

—mandee

I should have just been honest and truthful with him on fb when he asked me out for drinks. I should have stopped him and said that I don't drink, I don't go to parties and I am not looking for anything. Instead I lead him on to believe that I am this crazy hyper-sexual, fun person. I mean that's what I aspire to be, but you can't change yourself.

I just want to be remembered at my funeral as a wild person who lived her life. I hope he shows up and reads my texts.

—L_to_the_A is back!

what happened to the guy you boned?

—mandee

I just want to be remembered at my funeral as a wild person who lived her life. I hope he shows up and reads my texts.

i hope so too.

—mandee

"I don't drink, I don't go to parties"

"wild person who lived her life"

i guess you can be wild and sober... but these statements appear to be incongruent. superficially, anyway.

—he sounds like a delight

well now u know to never send a guy nudes unless u wanna f.
u could tell him u want a friends only thing. but he might think u r just playin hard to get. i dont recommend hangin out with him, hes probably gonna talk his way into your pants

—000

"but you can't change yourself."

love that you think this

—Kevin-U-in-Depression

Alright, you guys win. Btw I didn't fully lose my virginity. Oral sex and messing around doesn't count. This was the guy that i was going to fully do it with.

—L_to_the_A is back!

i feel robbed

—catloaf

The fuck?!?!?!

Don't you remember my thread? Oral sex is not sex. You are still a big, old virgin.

False alarm! The hymen is still intact!

—acm

Yeah i know. Sorry for letting you down

—L_to_the_A is back!

You're about 5280 feet to low for me to pop your cherry. Lets work on the vertical.

—ZT-In

I haven't felt this lied to since my parents told me they were Santa Claus.

Lena, how come you haven't added me on FB?

—OneNutAaron

Well request me and i'll add you

—L_to_the_A is back!

• tips for taking glamour shots

—pookie

i'm pretty sure "Dawn" is zt in drag

—catloaf

ahahahaha

—mandee

^^ lololol

most of them look like a glam version of unfrozen caveman lawyer

—pookie

Pookie, you're right. I can now see how this can affect my job and the people I work with. It sort of has created some drama already. I'm glad I was able to apologize to my co-worker before she took it with mgt.

I've learned a huge lesson here . 1) don't dirty talk over text or fb, 2) don't tell all your female co-workers that you have been talking to any guy at work 3) don't tell the guy that your female co-workers hate him.

I'm glad I learned this at 26, and not 36 especially at a job that I am not planning on making my life-long career.

—L_to_the_A is back!

Only learning those things at 26 makes you a little bit retarded, right?

—Mayonnaise

Well I knew that "dating" at work was dangerous, but you don't realize that until you get in trouble.

—L_to_the_A is back!

Workplace romances usually require a certain amount of nuanced handling and delicacy above and beyond "normal" relationships. Some people don't learn this at 36 or 56 or ever. Forgetting about speicific circumstances for a moment and just taking a sort of abstract look at the situation: when you go down this path, there are lots of factors you can't control. So, to introduce that much risk around something as important as your professional reputation or even just your paycheck is probably ill-advised.
Now, that's not my advice at all. I say knock yourself out, because ya know, YOLO!

—he sounds like a delight

well all of this could have been avoided if I didn't ask him about what the ladies are saying, and he could have not confronted his co-worker who is related to my co-worker.

But I agree dating someone you directly work with is a big no no. In fact it shouldn't even be allowed, unless it's a private business,

—L_to_the_A is back!

I forget percentages, but a huge number of relationships start at the workplace. It's inevitable when you spend the majority of your waking life somewhere. Right or wrong, things like that are going to happen. It's all about how you handle it. I wouldn't recommend going for a coworker unless you're seriously interested in dating them in a way you wouldn't be embarrassed about people knowing about. Booty calls and the kind of thing you're asking for when you send noodz and deal with gossipy people isn't worth the risk and is super unprofessional.

—stellagold

So, apparently Murphy beds were invented by a dude trying to find a clever way to get laid.

Fucking awesome, I'm buying one.

Or DIY kit.

—ZT-In

Disneyland is such a big place and there are so many departments. Most people at work agree that it's a bad idea to date within your department. Not unless one of you is leaving soon. If you break up, it gets really ugly and you have to see that person at work on a regular basis. But if you date someone from a different department? Who cares? You don't work side by side with them and they are much easier to avoid.

I usually laugh when I hear a couple at work has broken up. Most of the couples at work that break up should never have hooked up in the first place.

—acm

sorry, leens. chalk it up to experience and move on.

—pookie

No one else is impressed that Murphy beds were invented to shift girls?

—ZT-In

I met the love of my life at work and we started as a secret booty call. Unfortunately, 3 years later she decided she had met the love of her life back in high school.

—Mayonnaise

That's why you only shift girls on the mouth.

I should try being celibate again.

—ZT-In

i bang a coworker of mine on a regular basis. but it's ok, cuz we've been married for years. also, we were married before he became my coworker. oh yeah, and being on opposite shifts is teh ossim.

—catloaf

i've never dated a coworker. part of the reason is because there aren't many girls in engineering. also, i try not to talk to people at work in general. also, i didn't have a job i didn't hate with passion until i was like 28.
i would, if the right situation came along. i was trying to hit on this one chick at this conference i was at. an mit media lab researcher. but she was so nerdy and shy i just couldn't deal with it and gave up. then this other time i asked this other girl out at another conference, who had a business background, not STEM, and she told me to get lost.

—he sounds like a delight

So I told my mom about this guy and she thinks i'm an idiot for falling for someone because of looks. She thinks he's too young for me, and doesn't have a decent job.

—L_to_the_A is back!

so u just sucked a guy off? hard to imagine u doing or (especially) enjoying that

—000

if there's one piece of advice i can give confidently and feel right down to my bone marrow, it's: never never never ever talk to your parents about people you're only casually seeing or dating for a short while. it just can't lead to anything good, ever.

—he sounds like a delight

i mean that's just what i feel i should do, i don't know how other families work, i only have one. and these things are getting better as i get older. things would have to be pretty serious before i started giving up details.

—he sounds like a delight

Well I want to be close with my mother. I want to be able to tell her everything, without her judging. I envy girls my age who have that kind of relationship. Anyways, i just dont feel like i can be in a realtionship, he's a 10 and im a 6. I don't feel confident being a gf to a good looking white boy. Besides i saw a pic if his ex and she's really pretty and perfect for him. I dont understand why he would be interested.

—L_to_the_A is back!

so you're rejecting yourself on his behalf?

—stellagold

i can go to my parents for advice on critical decisions and not be worried about judgment. but i don't need them interfering with every little thing.

—he sounds like a delight

lena, you're crazy. you are NOT a 6. i'd say at LEAST a 9+

but then again, i think you already know that and are fishing for confirmation

—catloaf

i mean that's just what i feel i should do, i don't know how other families work, i only have one. and these things are getting better as i get older. things would have to be pretty serious before i started giving up details. —he sounds like a delight

People should start going to you when they need advice, it's always solid.

i can go to my parents for advice on critical decisions and not be worried about judgment. but i don't need them interfering with every little thing. —he sounds like a delight

My father has degrees in math and physics, and his IQ is 12 points higher than mine. But if I go to him with any "life problem" stuff he has nothing to say. Almost literally he just kind of shrugs his shoulders and is like "I don't know."

Sometimes he reminds me of Adam's dad (who eventually got a Ph.D. in Psychology, IIRC) but is somehow still useless when it comes to winning at life. Although I will say I didn't grow up anywhere near as poor as Adam, and my father did make it to some flag football games and a few tennis matches.

—ZT-In

lena, this may come as a shock to you, but not everyone picks a boyfriend/girlfriend based solely on the basis of where they physically rate on a scale of 1-10. some people actually fall in love based on personality and chemistry. when you're in love with someone, others may see them as a four, but you see them as the most beautiful person in the world.

—pookie

LENA: I used to fish for compliments when I was younger because I was so insecure. I don't do that anymore. The first reason is that I am no longer as insecure as I used to be. The second reason is that I realized it's fucking lame and it annoys the shit out of everyone around me. People expect it when you're nineteen, but when you're pushing 30? No one thinks that's cute! It's pathetic. Please stop doing that. There is no guy on Earth who likes and respects a girl who puts herself down all the time.

Sometimes I want to ask a guy really badly, but I don't. Besides...when a guy gives you a compliment it means so much more because he wasn't obligated to do it.

REGARDING NUMBERS: I never got the whole rating from 1 to 10. I've NEVER looked at a guy and given him a number. Is that what most guys do with girls?

I have a general type when it comes to looks (not fat, taller than me, white, not butt-ugly.) And then I go from there. If he has one or two great physical features than I'm set.

—acm

I am not fishing for compliments. I cannot imagine myself being introduced to a bf's family or maybe even taking a pic with this guy. The level of attractivness are way off. It's rare to find a hot guy with an ugly chick. Also our personalities do not match up. He is super confident with men and women, and is outgoing.

—L_to_the_A is back!

there you go again. you are not an ugly chick. DO YOU REALLY NOT KNOW THAT?

—catloaf

So tired of this shit.

You already know you're not ugly. We know you know this. I'll prove it to you:

If you thought you were so unattractive you would have never in a million years posted naked and semi-naked pics of yourself in flirty poses.

Lena, please cut the bullshit. We've all been around long enough to know bullshit when we smell it. You aren't fooling anyone here. Not even for a second. Stop acting like such a twit!

You are seriously reaching Shitlick/Drake status when you post these poor-me, what should I do after I flirt with grown men and they try to snatch my hymen and hold it up to the light. Oh...woe is me. It's so hard being a little immigrant, virgin girl who will never be pretty enough to find a good American man.

How about you take a look at the plethora of advice that has been given to you and consider making some positive changes in your life?

Otherwise, kindly STFU!

—acm

that al, she means well :D

—catloaf

Yeah, now that I reread that it does seem a little harsh. I'm not trying to beat her up. I just want her to get real.

I just want her to understand how unattractive it is when women constantly second-guess themselves and put down their looks.

Lena reminds me of my younger self in so many ways. She wastes so much time and energy focusing on all her "flaws" when she should be enjoying her life.

I apologize if I offended you, Lena. I just don't like hearing all the ridiculous things you believe about yourself.

—acm

Well it's kinda hard to change your perception about yourself when you spent the first 21 years hearing people tell you that you're ugly..etc

—L_to_the_A is back!

if u r a 6, just turn upside down

—000

Who said that? Your parents? Your sisters? The kids at school? It's not true, Lena. I promise you.

It's taken me thiry years to look in the mirror and see someone who isn't ugly. I don't consider myself hot. But I think I'm above average in looks. I feel strange saying I'm pretty and I feel ridiculous saying I'm beautiful. It took me a long time to come this far. I believe you can do it too if you truly want that.

Please get some therapy. These things just get worse if you don't deal with them.

—acm

Ok I lied, I can afford to move out, I just don't want to pay $600 every month.

I wish the rent is that cheap around here. I'm currently looking for a condo to buy in Pasadena and they're fucking expensive.
.....

As far as the situation goes yeah I can't imagine lena would go down on some dudes. I'm calling BS, unless you meant he went down on you... that I would buy.

It sounds like this guy just wants to fuck as many women as he can so I don't think you have to worry about not looking attractive enough being next to him. If you're content with only sex with him and don't care about whatever reputation you have to uphold in your workplace then I say go ahead and let the dice roll.

—HocusPocus

Sex is natural! Sex is good!
Not everybody does it, but everybody should!

Sex is best when it's ONE on ONE!

C C C C C C C'mon!

—acm

It sounds like this guy just wants to fuck as many women as he can so I don't think you have to worry about not looking attractive enough being next to him. If you're content with only sex with him and don't care about whatever reputation you have to uphold in your workplace then I say go ahead and let the dice roll.

Fucking him and walking away looks good on paper, but it's not that easy for most women. I got jealous when he told these older nurses to "stay beautiful". He might have not had the same intentions, but still it got me mad. It would drive me crazy if I had sex with him, and then saw him with another girl a few weeks later.

—L_to_the_A is back!

Well it's kinda hard to change your perception about yourself when you spent the first 21 years hearing people tell you that you're ugly..etc —L_to_the_A is back!

Hmm... Yeah, I know for women a lot of times "feeling sexy" is almost more important than "being sexy."

On the off chance that it's useful advice or perspective for you, I had maybe kind of a male version of this problem for awhile, but then I discovered that I really like flirting anyway. Not so much "hitting on" but just like, fun and intimate conversations with women. So, you know, if a woman reciprocates, that's awesome. If not, then you just move on or go home and beat off.

—ZT-In

Sex is natural! Sex is good! —acm

Correct.

Not everybody does it, but everybody should! —acm

Correct.
(aside from people with medical conditions making it exceptionally dangerous)

Sex is best when it's ONE on ONE! —acm

Something tells me you're not speaking from experience.

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Jdk83GvM34#t=1m45s

—ZT-In