The
Loveline
Companion

previous thread

because we get more complaints about too big than too small.

—plurry

So do I.

—Dusty TheHick

hardeehar

—pookie

seattle is being over-run by cop-killaz

discuss.

—lexieho

That other thread was too long, especially if you're using a mobile phone.

—Natalia Carolla

^Agreed. I know it's completely unrealistic, but I'd love to see a TLC iPhone app.

—awag777

how would it be different from a link to the forum home page?

—jizzgrenade

seattle is being over-run by cop-killaz

you have the supposedly tough on crime republican christian evangelical movement/a fox news personality to thank for that. discuss.

—bguirk

conclusion>: i birng a dance party no matter where igo

—mandee

The Gophers forced ten or more turnovers against Brown yesterday, prompting an Arby's promotion; free shake with a game ticket. The Arby's across from the arena (of course) "ran out" of ice cream, and gave away curly fries. We were outraged, got the fries, and then stuck it to the man and hopped the bus to the Arby's up the street a couple miles and got a free shake as well. Contemplating going back today for another shake. Beating the system.

—awag777

FYI--my Ducks had a better season than your Gophers and are going to the Rose Bowl to play anfernee's Fuckeyes. Hopefully my ducks can take care of my Wolverines business, but I'm not super optimistic.

—bguirk

Go Ducks. I hate the Buckeyes.

Also, the highlight of my year thus far, last night summed up in this quote.

oh...my god....what happened last night? apparently i hit a mcdonalds employee....

What a night. (Quote from a friend, not me)

Also, while we're on Football, looks like I'll be in San Antonio for New Years! Gophs selected over MSU to play in the Alamo bowl.

—awag777

And by San Antonio, I mean Arizona, again. Lame.

—awag777

And lastly, waking up at 4 AM to go to the Sarah Palin book signing.

—awag777

ew

—pookie

I thought you were actually a smart republican, but only retards would support Palin's efforts to cash in

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

perez hilton, palin book signing supporters

—lexieho

lol "Fuckeyes"

—Dusty TheHick

I thought you were actually a smart republican

there is no such thing. even if there used to be such a thing there definitely isn't such a thing now.

—bguirk

hey...i'm a smart republican!

—lexieho

^Agreed. I know it's completely unrealistic, but I'd love to see a TLC iPhone app.

I use TLC on my iphone and it loads pretty quickly with wifi or 3G, plus it loads to the newest post which is all you really need. Maybe if it looked like a text conversation and every member had their own colour, that might be kinda cool, idk.

The Gophers forced ten or more turnovers

Saw this and was legitimately impressed and shocked, then this....

against Brown.

Nuff said.

FYI--my Ducks had a better season than your Gophers and are going to the Rose Bowl to play anfernee's Fuckeyes.
If everything goes according to plan, I'll be there XP

speaking of football did anyone else see Ndamakin (or however the fuck you spell it) Suh last night? Holy shit I've never been so impressed by a defensive player, I agree with Kirk Herbstreit when he said "give him all the defensive trophies" lol, that guy is unreal. Eric Berry is really good too, but dayyumn.

—anfernee

If everything goes according to plan, I'll be there XP

from what I've been told by some people who went in '95 there are always face value tickets for that game if you just show up. Most towns have Big 10 booster/alumni committees and I'm on one here that regularly has tickets for things--just find them and their e-mail address for your area and you're bound to have a discounted seat. I've vowed not to spend another dime on college football until they institute a true playoff so have fun.

—bguirk

i'm hoping awag's motivation for seeing that hack (that no one would pay any attention to if she weren't a MILF) is merely to add to his list of media figures he's posed smiling with.

it's really sad when people "sign up" for a party, and get behind any ol' turd they throw out there. palin is the shiniest turd in the history of political turds.

—plurry

You can't polish a turd, Beavis.

Yeah. I tried that once. I took some dog doo, and then I took like some black shoe polish, and I tried, but it's like "You can't polish a turd."

That's disgusting, Beavis! I bet it was pretty cool to try, though."

Yeah. heh heh m heh

—Dusty TheHick

i'm hoping awag's motivation for seeing that hack (that no one would pay any attention to if she weren't a MILF) is merely to add to his list of media figures he's posed smiling with.

Mostly true. I don't think she's viable to run in 2012 (realistically), but I admire her openness. From my 20-30 second interaction with her (longer than most, I think that she thought I was the son of the Air Force officer who was dressed in his uniform in front of me) she seemed pretty genuine, asking me what I was studying at the U, and said "well hopefully we'll see you in 2012!" when I told her Political Science, wanting to work in campaign management. Todd was also there, but he was dull, and I'd already met him when they came to Minnesota last October.

Also, spoke with Pat Kessler, big political reporter for one of the news channels, he's been around for more than 20 years, he saw my marching band sweatshirt and had all these questions (because apparently one of the photojournalists is a former U of MN Marching Bander). Very fun. Got interviewed by a guy at the Pioneer Press, but I haven't seen any quotes in today's articles.

—awag777

Cool story, bro.

—Dusty TheHick

i would have to ask her:

why she thinks the religion that seems so very important to that family didn't contain her daughter's behavior.

if she's considered that levi turning out to be a giant douche speaks volumes for who bristol really is.

if she feels as lame as she and her entire family looks after the fallout of the shotgun wedding that would have transpired had she and mccain won.

—plurry

lol she got tomatoed at a signing in minnesota.

perez on tomatoes

—lexieho

wheres the smiling awag pic?

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

Cool story, bro.

you're doing it wrong

—anfernee

I thought that story deserved it. Also, boobs.

—Dusty TheHick

Picture will be up once the photographer puts up the Minneapolis pics on the site. I'm not sure if it'll be the typical awag smiling pic. The pictures were being taken from the side as I shook her hand and what not.

—awag777

WHOA! You shook her whatnot!??

You STUD!

—Dusty TheHick

today is going to be the worst day evar. i have to walk to work in the snow. i still don't have earmuffs and i lost a glove. also alan davies' wife had a baby. fuck that so hard. he doesn't want a baby. he wants to take random vacations to spain and have sex with me on a sleep number bed. blaaaaaaaaaaargh

—mandee

^do you want my earmuffs? i got burberry earmuffs for christmas and i was fandangled into keeping them, but i don't like them that much.

—lexieho

i have to walk to work in the snow

Damn, and I was freaking out about the ice on my car. I'm sorry midwest and east coasters.

BTW it kinda snowed in modesto the other day.

—Natalia Carolla

the country is descending into an ice age, it is currently 1°F here

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

attn: everyone at the global warming conference

—airking32

wind gusts today were powerful enough to set off the car alarm, and knock down a prong of a two pronged tree in the backyard. i guesstimate those gusts at about 55MPH.

—plurry

my thermos full of tea froze in my car. so pissed i thought those fuckers were supposed to keep cold things cold, and hot things hot.

—lexieho

posted a craigslist missed connections bein like i work at cvs do u have a boner

—mandee

I laughed and said "fuck that" when our apartment said that we were responsible for weather-proofing our windows (I said "fuck that" because they pay for our heat) and now my room is FREEZING and my bed is FREEZING (near a window) and my computer is FREEZING (in front of the window). So I might have to pony up and weather proof my windows, cause they're drafty as hell. Suggestions?

—awag777

who do you think shirley temple lost her virginity to? do you think it was mickey rooney?

i'm so borrred. where are you guys? are you all masturbatin gin the shower? i'm goin got go mastubarte in the shower.

—mandee

the colder the processor, the faster the computer.

—plurry

awag, 3M makes the thing with double sided tape for $12 and you shrink it with your hair dryer. it cuts the drafts dramatically if you live in an older home.

i did that in my first apartment and it worked. i also just saw it the other day as a tip on HGTV, so they must still make it.

—pookie

—snoopfan123

...and have sex with me on a sleep number bed.

What's your fuck number?

—Dusty TheHick

but I admire her openness

about what exactly?

—bguirk

Everything; she isn't afraid to speak her mind on stuff. Like I said, I think it'd be a disaster if she was the Republican nominee in '12, but I like her positions on a lot of issues, and I like her personality.

—awag777

lol her mind

—stellagold

^ilu

—Dusty TheHick

close your eyes, quit staring at her tits, and listen to what comes out. all becomes clear.

—plurry

i had to scrape ice, not even frost, off my windshield a few days ago, my windshield wiper fluid froze, and the left side sprayer broke, and 2 days out of this week the pool has been frozen over at my work, in fuckin south san francisco

—jizzgrenade

sometimes i drink anti-freeze.

—lexieho

it's the first night of channukah so i bought my roommates chocolate gelt, but no one is home, so i'm just getting drunk and watching true life and i'll probably end up eating them all myself.

—mandee

manddeee, im drinking alone too. well, to be fair, I was at a bar, now im continuing to drink at home by myself.... bad decision.

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

we're having a party tomorrow night. you should come over.

—mandee

someday, not tomorrow, i'll take you up on that offer. what's the occasion?

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

my roommate's birthday.

well, the rest of you are invited. plurry, if you want to hang out with some youngsters...

—mandee

i'm home alone watching truelife too.

—lexieho

commercial for rerun of svu: "in order to catch a hardened criminal, the DA will have to become one". i smiled. and by "hardened criminal", the announcer meant rapist. it's svu. duh.

—mandee

i gave on tv. now i'm listening to destiny's child and masturbating to kevin u.

—lexieho

^ lex, if you want help falling asleep, you need to spoon and do a reach around.

they sell those big body pillows and you can also swing your leg around. it's a nice alternative to sleeping on your stomach.

—pookie

the best way to fall asleep is to masturbate to kevin u

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

pookie, i can't sleep on my side, even with those body pillows. i'm really restless.

—lexieho

i'm going to turn off the lights and listen to ludacris.

—mandee

have fun.

—lexieho

also move bitch get out the way.

—lexieho

this is the second morning in a row where i slept funny on my hair the night before and woke up looking like gumby. :o(

—pookie

^pixplz

the best way to fall asleep is to masturbate to kevin u

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

confirm (bnitgwoc)

—Dusty TheHick

• My morning hair

—pookie

lmao

Somehow I knew you were gonna do that.

<3 pookie

—Dusty TheHick

Pookie, such a tease.

—awag777

knew you'd have a big smile

—stellagold

I've been growing my hair out a bit, but it's cold and I've been wearing hats and when I take my hat off the static cling plasters my hair to my head. I forgot about this problem.

—bguirk

^ static cling is the bane of my existence.

—lexieho

I wore a v neck and a jeans yesterday with a thin pea coat and walked down 2 miles of christmas tree lights (christmas tree lane) with the girl and it wasn't even cold, man I would die anywhere else other than this state. I actually wore shorts a couple days ago. Plus I don't have to work up till 10:30 at the latest, and by then the sun is out and it's like 70.

—anfernee

I have been wearing a silk kimono that I bought from a wholesaler in Tijuana. It is really soft and has a cool design with a dragon breathing fire. The other day I wore it to the store to pic up some beef jerky and pecan sandies. I wasn't wearing anything underneath and nobody knew the difference. It was really cool to be walking around in public with my junk swinging underneath high quality silk.

—jjbot

In other news it was -5 with a windchill of -20 yesterday. Don't want to hear it.

—awag777

this guy from my roommate's sketch comedy group in college is here to crash on our couch for the night and i was sitting in my room when he was giving him the tour of the apartment and when he passed my room, he was like 'that's mandee's room' and the guy goes 'oh i know who she is but i've never met her'. so about 5 minutes ago when i came out of my room to go to the bathroom, he introduced himself and said yeah i've seen you around campus and at parties and stuff and i was like 'oh ok yeah i don't really remember'. just trying to show people who is boss. respect me ok.

—mandee

Power move.

—D'arcy

Bigtimers from coast to coast know me and respect my juice.

—jjbot

You mean like...fat bitches?

—Dusty TheHick

In other news, it was probably 72 degrees today. That is all.

—OneNutAaron

we're about to get a foot of snow yessss

—stellagold

on intervention, there is a girl who drinks 21 liters of vodka each week. hi intervention, welcome to the us of a. it's cups and gallons, bitch.

—mandee

Oh, so she's a light drinker?

—Sheena

I'm pretty sure liquor is packaged in metric.

—Colin

fuk dis noize. maury is lookin fine. imma let him get me pregnant. WHEN MAURY COME TO TOWN SOMEBODY GON GET PREGNANT.

—mandee

I love maury. my roommates and I watch it errday.

—awag777

I have to work 3 pm to about 1 am today (that's 10 hours at customer service), but there's only one more week of Christmas music!

—chix0r

stupid, repetitive xmas music is the insult to injury working retail.

—plurry

we're about to get a foot of snow yessss

did you actually get a foot? or was it more like 12 inches?

—plurry

she's talking about endowed white men, right?
lame lame lame joke lame lame

—D'arcy

—plurry

plur-dawg - it was 12 inches... almost a foot. but it's still snowing!@!

power and internets keep flickering off and on - 14 times today.

—stellagold

stupid, repetitive xmas music is the insult to injury working retail.

ugh so true.

—mandee

power and internets keep flickering off and on - 14 times today.

each time you have an orgasm, yes?

—plurry

well the power outages may have something to do with the pirate ship ride i've been building. you wouldn't believe how much electricity it takes to run one of those things.

—stellagold

stella's vadge leaves a huge carbon footprint.

—plurry

news update: for you eager lexmas card recipients, i'm going on a christams hiatus in the mountains...limited resources including internet. your cards are going to be delayed on account of snowy family bonding.

—lexieho

translation: HALP! my psycho mother is holding me hostage!

—plurry

omg a gallon of vodka a day?? i rarely drink that much water!

—jizzgrenade

hi!

—lexieho

sometimes i watch this just to upset myself.

aw big bird.

—mandee

Olivia died.

—catloaf

Thanks for the upsetting clip mandee.

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

no way mr. hooper left the store to a black man.

mr. hooper was straight up racist, that sucker was simple and plain. (motherfuck him and john wayne.)

david put a gun to his head, and made him sign over the store, then popped a few caps in his ass, and dumped him in a river.

—plurry

You rarely see PE referenced in today's world.

—Colin

special news: I'm thinking about punching a cashier in the face for asking me to check a $100 bill every 5 mins. Why are they so dependent on management?

—Natalia Carolla

Is this cashier new?
What is the policy for accepting $100 bills?
Is it possible she's concerned about accepting a counterfeit bill?

—Colin

She's been working there since 1996. Cashiers can reject a $100 counterfeit bill w/o calling for a manager, unless the customer wants to speak with one. She also freaks out if her coin machine is halfway full, so she'll call for change and I have to say no, because she'll have too much money in her drawer and I'll have to do cash pickups every hour.

She's an idiot and she's always in panic mode. I think her husband beats her up, maybe that's why she's always so frantic.

—Natalia Carolla

yesterday at work a couple came in and it totally looked like the guy was beating his lady. i just wanted to kick him out and have the girl stay behind the counter with me and we could talk about everything and i'd give her a snuggie.

—mandee

tonight I make more cranberries for christmas dinner, the prime rib is going to be delicious.

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

comcast is fucked up. everyone is freaking out. i have to steal this low internet connection from someone else in the building. h8 it. there's nothing to doooo. this boy from work is coming over and we can play a game or something.

omg i'm going to finish making y'alls cardz.

—mandee

^ i haven't even started mine : (

—lexieho

speakin' o' which, i know i still owe some people here some cookies. i haven't forgotten, i vow to get it done!

—catloaf

omg, did you just say git-r-dun?

—plurry

NO I DID NOT

—catloaf

mandee, i have been waiting by the mailbox for a week now and it's fucking cold. you are such a slacker. i'm going inside.

—airking32

oh yea, im doing cards too, so anybody who wants one fivetoedsloth@gmail.com

—jizzgrenade

uurrrrgggghhhh someone talk to me on the internets

—mandee

what's up?

—plurry

i'm just lonely.
i also can't stop thinking about candace bergen. what is she up to these days?

—mandee

i would imagine she's enjoying retirement.

—plurry

the first thing she does in the morning is pee. i learned that here

i'm getting really anxious about what i'm going to do in august. no one believes that i'm going to find a better job and i'm so scared that i'm going to end up alone in chicago somewhere on the southside where i'll get mugged and have no friends. my best friend has already excluded me from her plans because she doesn't think i'll be able to afford what she wants. we can't get this same lease again because 3 of the people i live with don't want to live in chicago anymore after the lease is over. and i'm like ok we have about 7 more months just relax, but i'm just being kicked to the side. i've been told that i'm being selfish because she has to live somewhere with an elevator, but everyone has a ton of options because they have money and their family has money, but i have none. i'm not making sense really right now because i'm kind of drunk and overly upset over probably nothing but blahblahblah.

—mandee

being alone is not that bad. you don't have to put up with bullshit. call your own shots and all that.
really, it's all perspective. personally, i can't imagine having roommates. that would drive me nuts.

when adam tells his stories about living in a small apt. with a bunch of guys, i cringe.

you've got the education, i have no doubt you will eventually find a better gig if you are persistent.

—plurry

I'm thinking about quitting and taking the last 4 months of 2010 off. I'll have enough money saved up by then to travel the world and I'll have 1 year of retail management experience. Do people actually do that or am I just not in touch with reality?

Also I'm thinking about going back to school and becoming an elementary school teacher.

—Natalia Carolla

do it, lena.

—mandee

just dont go to austrailia and steal stefs bf!

—000

—airking32

whateva.

—Natalia Carolla

to answer your question, from what i've heard i think it might be more common during college years, but lots of people still do it in their 20s, and even more people later wish they did. definitely do it

—jizzgrenade

leenie, ya gotta go for it. if that plane leaves the ground and you're not on it, you'll regret it. maybe not today, but soon and for the rest of your life.

but i've got a job to do, too. where i'm going, you can't follow. what i've got to do, you can't be any part of. i'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. someday you'll understand that. here's looking at you, kid.

—pookie

Traveling around the world would totally be worth it Lena; especially if you won't go into debt in the process.

—anobody

my sister went into debt while travelling in europe after college graduation. granted she was there for months and stayed in four-star hotels.

when people die their debt disappears.

—lexieho

*feigns death*

—catloaf

some people travel the world for the experience.
some do it to run, in order to put off establishing sustainable relationships. also, there's that "grass is greener on the other side" thing people can go through.

you have to be honest with yourself.

personally, i know traveling would never change me. i'd rather have a savings account or a down payment on some real estate than fading memories. it's all dirt with the same sky above no matter where you stand.
traveling seems to me like something to do when you're retired and bored.

i'm for making hay while the sun is shining.

—plurry

it's all dirt with the same sky above no matter where you stand.

Fievel moment. that made me think of that lyric from "Somewhere Out There" from An American Tail: even though I know how very far apart we are it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

carry on

—catloaf

lol pookie.

Life is too short, you know. When am I gonna get to the house on the lake? Do some fishing? I always said, 'After this happens, or after that happens.' You know, I can be saying that until I'm six feet under, or more.

If not now, when?

If not me, who?

If not here, where?

—HocusPocus

personally, i know traveling would never change me. i'd rather have a savings account or a down payment on some real estate than fading memories. it's all dirt with the same sky above no matter where you stand.
traveling seems to me like something to do when you're retired and bored.

Personally I think you should try it before knocking it. Maybe you just don't have the wanderlust but experiencing new places (especially with different languages and cultures) is pretty damned awesome and really will make you a well rounded person.

i'm for making hay while the sun is shining.

She is young has plenty of time for all that.

—anobody

i've spent time in texas, florida, and alaska. yawn.
i've partied in des moines, milwaukee, and chicago a few times. basically the same stuff with different faces.

and i fucking hate hotels - always think i'm sleeping in a pool of someone's jizz, and have to bring my own pillows.
i'm one of those people who is miserable away from home and my belongings. have a hard time sleeping in unfamiliar places. i dig familiarity. being away simply isn't for me.

i hear the grand canyon is grand. i'll catch a special on discovery in the comfort of my living room, and take their word for it.

—plurry

it MUST be grand, it says so right in the name. plurry and dusty should get a place together.

—catloaf

i've spent time in texas, florida, and alaska. yawn.
i've partied in des moines, milwaukee, and chicago a few times. basically the same stuff with different faces.

Ah yes - exotic des moines and chi-town.

Almost exactly like traveling to Barcelona or Tokyo or Venice or Prague.

—anobody

plurry and dusty should get a place together.

oh em gee, the odd couple

—catloaf

i'm just saying i've been out of town.

there is no possible way i'm ever leaving this continent. not a part of any discussion i'll ever have.

—plurry

oops, you just did

—catloaf

yeah, but still.

—plurry

I painted a landscape of the grand canyon, I would like to visit it someday.

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

the more i interact with others, the more i understand how my idea of reward is so very different.

—plurry

exotic des moines

How dare you.

—drakeguy19

there is no possible way i'm ever leaving this continent. not a part of any discussion i'll ever have.

How about Quebec and D.F. ?

—anobody

i think it would be good for lena to travel around on her own and be forced to meet new people.
i really want to go to japan. if i ever save enough money, we can go together.

—mandee

i'm never going anywhere. i'm not even leaving my living room. can't risk being eaten by sharks. i'm chancing it even in my own home.

—catloaf

if i'm to go anywhere, it's to escape these winters once and for all. once there, i'm staying put.
no way i'm venturing north.

d.f. - i'm brain farting. wuts d.f.?

—plurry

Districto Federal (Mexico City; in retrospect, probably not the best place you could go in Mexico though)

—anobody

Lena won't even go on the freeway, she's not going to travel anyplace.

—drakeguy19

can't risk being eaten by sharks. i'm chancing it even in my own home. —catloaf

agreed. when i first saw jaws, i was afraid to get in the tub.

—pookie

I did the month backpacking through Europe thing. I used to go to NYC twice a year to hear jazz for a week. I've kayaked in the Grand Canyon, been to Vegas 7 times for 4 different reasons, go up to Canada, Michigan, Texas, Florida, DC...

of all that the time spent in Europe with no responsibility but to follow my bliss for the day was pretty awesome. to have the ability to do it for 4 months would be awesome...my next opportunity to do so will be age 52. in other words do it before it's too late Lena.

—bguirk

^ did you hike mt. tibadabo?

—pookie

If plurry lived in Modesto he would probably try to get a 1 week vacation every month and go somewhere. I'm still reminiscing about new york. I didn't do much there but I still have fond memories about walking around in times square. I was actually excited about getting out of bed everyday.

Europe is my next stop. I have an uncle in Germany and my mom's niece lives in Holland, just in case I get stranded.

The whole "career" thing can wait. I will probably be in retail all my life, so I'm not that enthusiastic about working my way up.

—Natalia Carolla

foreign + mundane = exotic
exotic is intoxicating until the body adjusts

travelling itself is a joy. not the sight-seeing, not the places, just being in motion.

wind everywhere.

—D'arcy

maybe i don't need to bone strangers at this very moment

—mandee

or maybe that's EXACTLY what you need.

—airking32

i don't want it to become "my thing".
i don't even really like bonin.

—mandee

unless you've failed to be candid with us, you've done it exactly once - you needn't worry about it becoming "your thing".

however, if you don't much care for boning, that you SHOULD worry about.

—airking32

i haven't been candid in chicagoland.

guess i should still be worried though.

—mandee

don't wanna talk about dis no mo.

imma play a game or sumpin.

—mandee

whatevs, bizzo. you brought it up.

so what are we gonna play? i vote for hungry hungry hippos.

—airking32

did u call me a bizzo? aw hail naw.

i wanna play more bananagrams.

—mandee

orangeounces and applekilos are both more fun.

—airking32

dis is no joke!

—mandee

i like papayapounds.

—plurry

nice alliteration, plurry. fuck, i should have gone with "kiwikilos".

—airking32

u no i like pomegranates more than papayas. u no that!

—mandee

lol lettuceliters

edit: guavagallons

(imma stop now)

—plurry

mangometers

—mandee

no good. we're doing measurements of weight, not distance. c'mon, yo. helmet's not a chair.

—airking32

does bonin really hurt some girls or do they just say that to make the guy feel guilty? j/w

—stellagold

it hurts. ok everyone. it hurts.

—mandee

oic sorry.

here:

—stellagold

no good. we're doing measurements of weight, not distance. c'mon, yo. helmet's not a chair.

i can do the kessel run in under 12 pearparsecs.

—lexieho

ps. sorry mandee and adorable kitten.

—lexieho

it's called intimacy vaginismus. can i say that?

—plurry

sometimes my vagina feels numb, like knives are stabbing into me....you know?

—lexieho

numb and stabbed with a knife generally aren't spoken in the same sentence.

however, female trauma survivors can experience pain or numbness during sex because of the way their brain is faultily wired to their vadge.

—plurry

that kitten reminds me of an NBA forward after committing a flagrant foul. like, hey! i didn't do nuthin!

and speaking of doin nuthin, mandee's V appears to be operating at like 10% capacity. this is going to sound cruel, but man, it must suck to be a broken V on a forum full of fully functioning V's.

although, the stratofortress has been experiencing problems lately, (i assume) the loaf has been in the service bay after sustaining moderate to heavy damage, and the assyrian one has never been out of the hangar, so maybe i'm overestimating the functional capacity of the forum V's.

—airking32

i like talking about other v's, but i don't like talking about my v. which is why i've only brought up my sexcapades once. i'll just say that i keep thinking oh this time it'll be better and it's like slightly better, but not really that much better. but i'm such a trooper. i keep trying.

—mandee

plurry, it was from a loveline call maybe a month ago.

the girl didn't understand how those two were contradictory.

—lexieho

^^ Yes, eventually, you'll try and you will get want you want. Some things take time.

—Sheena

yeah, eventually, you too can meet a 70 year old that really does it for you.

—airking32

Hey, if it makes you happy...

—Sheena

airking will you send me a clay model of your weiner to put in my butthole?

—mandee

the 2 hole is functioning better than the 1 hole, eh? hey, small victories. small victories.

—airking32

imma try it cuz sometimes when i have to poop rull bad and then i poop i'm like aaahhhh.

also i luv clay

—mandee

find a guy and stick with him

—stellagold

hugh laurie isn't returning my calls.

—mandee

he's just playing hard to get

—stellagold

that's because he's chained up in my basement right now.

—lexieho

plurry, it was from a loveline call maybe a month ago.

that wasn't you?

find a guy and stick with him

and there is your answer. you won't enjoy sex until you find someone you are comfortable with.

NEXT CALLER!

—plurry

I download all 3 seasons of Rules of Engagement last week. Mainly for Megan Pryce (Grounded For Life; great fucking rack), but it turns out Patrick Warburton is great. I don't care for the laugh track or the stereotypes; sports loving NYC guy, advertising exec chick, etc.

My off camera studio flash failed to function for a family photo on christmas. grrrr I'm not sure what the issue is, but new equipment is likely in order.

I've been feeling slightly sick since Monday. :(

BIG storm coming in tomorrow. 4-6 inches of snow, plus .3 inch of freezing rain. Going to a NYE party and I might crash over there instead of trying to drive home in the ice. The driveway is completely clear now. I take pride in my snow shoveling.

The wife is in Los Angeles until the 4th. We were already apart last week for 7 nights. She got 3 orgasms upon my return; 2 oral, 1 vaginal. Me, I just get one...

A natural gas powered heater is installed in the garage and waiting for the city inspector to pass on the work. 44F is too cold for building shit.

School starts Monday. I might buy a Psych book from a craigslist seller tomorrow.

—Colin

wow.I go away for 14 hours and...

—bguirk

...colin's wife has three orgasms.

—airking32

FWIW I've met Colin's wife.

—bguirk

and i bet you couldn't even squeeze ONE out of her.

—airking32

She got 3 orgasms upon my return; 2 oral, 1 vaginal.

wow, oral orgasms? Colin's married to Deep Throat.

—stellagold

and i bet you couldn't even squeeze ONE out of her.

—airking32

the last time someone joked about Colin's wife he left parts of the dude all over I-94. it wasn't pretty.

—bguirk

i was thinking the same thing.

edit: that was to stella

—mandee

yeah, eventually, you too can meet a 70 year old that really does it for you.

*FINGERS CROSSED*

—catloaf

k wull im drunk enouh to tell yall that im bout to just boen a stranger. shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh byeeee

it s a hioliday

—mandee

I'm not a stranger.

—bguirk

every degrassi ever today!

—mandee

So while I was in Cali I almost got to meet Drew, but he was headed to Vegas :(. He DM'd me the last day I was there asking why I was in Corona Del Mar (saw a tweet, oddly directed at someone else) because his wife was originally from there and he was a lifeguard at Laguna Beach. I said I was visiting family, and asked if he was in the area or anywhere in LA. He said he was on his way to Vegas, but asked if I would be around New Years (cause I'd asked him if I could meet and get a picture and have him autograph Cracked). Unfortunately I was in Tempe. Oh well.

—awag777

awag stalks celebrities. it's kind of creepy.

—bguirk

• Is Dr. Drew Pinsky's Show Therapy or Tabloid Voyeurism? - NYTimes.com

—stellagold

omg i love tequila

—stellagold

i love carlo rossi. plurry my friends and i want to go to a rave. take us to one plz.

—mandee

me too stella and mandee, i had a nice big bottle of 1800, and a jug of sangria carlo rossi for nye. i didn't finish them obvi

—jizzgrenade

mandee, chicago certainly has a bigger, better scene that StL.

the next party here that will have a large-ish draw won't be until march. promoters are leery of throwing big events in winter, because snow or ice can seriously fuck with turnout.

—plurry

we don't know anything about the "scene" or when stuff is happening. we're n00bz.

—mandee

well, you could go here, and ask around.

—plurry

i'm tired and I don't feel like going to work.

—Natalia Carolla

i'm bored, and wish a tlc girl would visit me.

—plurry

^do you work? Can I have your job?

—Natalia Carolla

lol at plurry.

talk to me, i emailed you and everything.

—lexieho

^do you work? Can I have your job?

of course i work. i'm a field tech.

—plurry

you collect field mice for a living?....that's so cute.

—lexieho

plurry you can come hang out with me here.

i've been watching this degrassi marathon all weekend. this started on friday and they haven't even gotten to the shooting yet.

—mandee

i must import my entertainment, not export myself.

edit: at least until spring.

—plurry

i have a really big tv. and candy.

—mandee

i'm on call, tethered by my blackberry.

i had all kinds of time in the fall. i should have road tripped then.

—plurry

im a frend of ur mom, get in da car!

ok it's 6:30, time to start drankin.

—mandee

I miss pot. Wild Dagga just isn't the same.

—Sheena

I told my mom that my life sucks and that I hate working at walgreens and her response was to quit, take some time off and travel...it felt so good to hear her say that. She's always been strict about going to school everyday and finding a job right after college, so I was a little shocked.

—Natalia Carolla

casey johnson died.

i had just started developing my celebrity crush on her...shame.

—lexieho

o noes. i hope tila is ok

—mandee

^^^ Isn't it nice when parents are supportive?
Seriously, what does it feel like, tell me nice and slow.

—Sheena

the new pizza hut commercial keeps saying just 10 bucks and i'm laffin.

—mandee

Sheena are you responding to me?

It feels good when parents are supportive of your decision to be unemployed. lol j/k

Basically I need a break. I have not had a break since summer of 2004. Been attending summer school throughout college, took a really stressful 4 week finance course last summer. Started working on july 22 the SAME day my summer class was over.

I only had 3 days to go to L.A. and spring break for one week in new york.

—Natalia Carolla

Dogs Looking Like People. this will make you feel better. i've been reading this website and going LOLOLOLOL until i weep. whoever writes these captions is a genius.

—mandee

this is an example of an entry w/ caption:

This dog is wearing his third favorite hat.

this is really cheering me up. i was sad cuz ken seeley hasn't been on intervention in like 3 weeks and its bullshit.

—mandee

loooooooooool this dog looks so much like people

—mandee

This dog reminds me of some guy I went to high school with. Same eyes!

—Natalia Carolla

Well, you deserve a break.

And those pictures are creepy... creepy funny.

—Sheena

I'm still awake, bitches!

—Sheena

can i talk bout feelin blue?

—mandee

do it!

my thoughts exactly..

—Natalia Carolla

my friend looks exactly like justin bieber

—mandee

for the first time in over a year, i'm sick. fucking head cold.

don't know whether to levy blame against my new years eve experience, or the drifter i keep finding in my bed.

—plurry

^ yeah, wtf, I don't usually get sick but I've had a sore throat/cough/nasal issues past several days. Refuse to see the doctor, but if it lasts another few days may have to.

—awag777

Hi, awag.

—Dusty TheHick

i need to stop drinking juice so late at night.

also i thought i had a tumor in my gums so i was googling it and thought it could be just a pus-filled lump, so i decided to stab it since i couldn't sleep. ok, so i stabbed myself in the gums. that's what just happened. that wasn't delightful and now my mouth hurts.

—mandee

Ouch. Hope you're okay now.

—Sheena

i'm just an idiot. it was probably one of those things that would have gone away in two days, but i had to fuck with it.

—mandee

the great magnet at work: my husband went to the emergency room during the night last night over something similar because he was literally writhing in pain. are you any better today mandee?

—catloaf

yeah. i don't really feel it anymore, unless i touch it.

—mandee

hope this isn't a recent development from smoking some strange pole.

—plurry

nononono. if that was true, i'd obvi be freaking out a lot more.

—mandee

hope this isn't a recent development from smoking some strange pole.

just for a moment I debated which of us you were addressing. *snickers*

—catloaf

I had that Emergen-C stuff and now my stomach hurts.

—Natalia Carolla

excess amounts of vitamin c can cause upset stomach and spray poop (the dutch term for diarrhea)

—pookie

u gon take a shit?

—mandee

Heath Ledger's Final Days/Fan Fiction. this article is dumb as hell and weird as fuck. someone from esquire wrote about heath ledger's final days from heath's perspective and it's just terrible writing. it's basically fan fiction and i can't believe that this was allowed to be published.

—mandee

if they're dead, why are we talking about them?

—plurry

my mom likes ben......little does she know...

—lexieho

I put trojan ecstasy condoms on a clip strip in the baby aisle. Kinda creative.

—Natalia Carolla

And ironic.

—Sheena

I put trojan ecstasy condoms on a clip strip in the baby aisle. Kinda creative.

brilliant. put coat hangers in that aisle too.

—plurry

^ only the wire ones. the plastic ones don't work as well.

—pookie

pookie makes a good point about a good hook.

—plurry

ma'am, we don't carry the wire ones.

I saw a guy steal condoms but I didn't stop him. We lost $10.00 but hopefully a child was not created that night to someone who cannot afford condoms.

—Natalia Carolla

Lena plays by her own rules.

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

i hate when stores have the condoms and razors in security cases....it's such a hassle to get a hold of a sales clerk to open them up for me.

who buys condoms? free is the way to go.

fun fact: i've used condoms less than five times in my life.....wouldn't my mom be proud?

—lexieho

They don't have a button to press that pages the sales clerk? I hate it when little kids press that button, when you show up and ask the parent if they need something out of the case, they just look at you like "what". I fully support those kid leashes.

—Natalia Carolla

some of my roommates started a sketch comedy group and they are currently rehearsing in the living room. awhile ago i was talking about some sketch ideas i was thinking of writing about and they legit stole one of my ideas and are using it. ugh.

—mandee

My dad passed away yesterday.

—Natalia Carolla

I'm so sorry.

—Sheena

Very sorry Lena :(

—anobody

i was wondering about you, where you went. my sincerest condolences.

—plurry

hugs to you, leenie

—pookie

very sad Lena. let us know if we can do anything.

—bguirk

:( I'm sorry Lena.

Also,

—awag777

—airking32

hl

—plurry

Lena, I am sorry - I can't imagine all of the emotion you must be processing right now, and I hope you somehow find solace in this forum.

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

sorry gurl.

—mandee

the problem with me being in cirque du solei is that the cast would totally resent me becaue i'mm not that flexible, but i look pretty good in a big hat.

—mandee

My deepest sympathy, Lena.

—Dusty TheHick

thank you all.

my only problem is the funeral. Can I skip out?

—Natalia Carolla

my mom said that i could skip out on my sisters...i decided not to at the last minute. ask her.

—lexieho

i think that would be in poor taste to the rest of your family, but you wouldn't lose any points in my book.

—plurry

you can but I'd go just so you don't regret not going in the future

—anobody

i don't regret not being a part of my dad or my sister's funerals/services.

granted i was physically there i didn't do anything and left as soon as i could.

but maybe i need to wait a few more years to appreciate witnessing it. but i generally hate convention and outdated social practices...so fuck you funerals! and weddings

—lexieho

the funeral is bizarre ritual. the viewing of the corpse, talking about the corpse while it's in the room stuffed full of embalming fluid to make it look as live as possible, then everyone watching the expensive box get buried.. just weird and uncomfortable.

i get the family gathering part. i get that the living need support, but the 2 to 3 day circus most families turn it into is goofy. calling one of the events lined up for the body a "wake" is just plain wrong.

—plurry

i wonder what happened to the expensive box my sister was in...we ended up cremating her as a normal person would...but my mom insisted on an open casket funeral [major family dramz]. can you rent a casket for a few hours or do you have to buy it? used caskets.....idk.

—lexieho

fun fact: i have no clue what happened to my dad's body...maybe it was too liquid and gooey by the time that they found it...

—lexieho

^ tmi

re: renting a casket. good question.

—plurry

sorry.

i lack proper social skills.

—lexieho

so your dad was layne staley?

—plurry

costco sells caskets fer cheep

—pookie

sorry what? i don't like alice in chains.

my dad's death was a mysteriou event. not tlc worthy.

—lexieho

You've lost your dad and sister? That's sad. I'm sorry.

I understand the part of family and friends gathering, but why do they have to do it with a dead body there? And I'm not giving a speech either.

Ahhh this is so disturbing, I can't believe I'm typing this about my dad.

—Natalia Carolla

also, the funeral is on thurs. and I have to go back to work the next day. I only took two days off for funeral leave. Should I take friday off too? I have no idea what state of mind I'll be in after I witness horrifying human rituals.

—Natalia Carolla

sorry lena, i feel like i should have something helpful to say, but i don't. all i can really do is hope that the next few weeks won't be too hard on you.

—lexieho

take more days off. my sister died on the first day of school and i took the entire week off, but when i came back i ended up needing more days off.

when my dad died i didn't need any time off.....but you were much closer to your family than i am.

—lexieho

lena, take more days off so you can deal with shit properly.

do bodies get gooier if they've been dead for awhile? i just thought they harden and decompose.

—mandee

as far as i know, under room temp or warmer conditions, eventually they liquefy. how long that takes, i'm not sure.

laith?

—plurry

ew

according to wikipedia's article about putrefaction, after 4 weeks, the soft tissues start to liquefy.

—mandee

hmm...i doubt my dad lasted four weeks.

morbid.

—lexieho

how long was it before he was found? was he just in his house?

—mandee

i don't know. anything.

—lexieho

christ almighty, this is a horrible topic

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

I decided I'm not going to the funeral. Don't care what my uncle or relatives say. I have my own way of doing things and they should respect that. I don't believe in souls or anything like that, so it's not like my dad will be disappointed.

—Natalia Carolla

something i've discovered about lexie: she knows nothing about her family. like.. the money they have is inherited or passed down, but when asked who had the money in the first place, or who made the money to pass down, and what did they do for a living to make it - no clue.

they don't offer info, and she doesn't care enough to press. no one sweats the details.

i'm someone that always has a million questions, and has to get to the bottom of whatever for my sanity's sake. so, i can't relate at all.

—plurry

lena, i support your rebellion.

—plurry

^ ditto.

also plurry that's the complaint i hear from my "boyfriends". my mom never bothered to tell us anything when we were younger...and so i just don't care..i might as well be adopted.

i remember in elementary school doing family heritage or family tree projects, asking my mom, getting no answers, and making it up.

the only reason why i know that i'm french-german is because i googled my last nmae when i was thirteen.

—lexieho

but i guess the good thing is that i was able to formulate my own ideas on religion, politics, morals etc.
i so grew up on the internet...no wonder i'm so fucked up.

—lexieho

I went to a funeral when I was 8 and i was horrified by how the casket was being lowered into the grave with dirt covering it. I felt like I was suffocating. Plus I deal with things on my own. I not going downstairs because there's people down there....I can't deal with them or their sobs.

—Natalia Carolla

hi kevin!

—lexieho

i'm someone that always has a million questions, and has to get to the bottom of whatever for my sanity's sake. so, i can't relate at all.

same. i get antsy when there are so many unanswered questions.

—mandee

I deal with things on my own.

what i don't support, lena, is you being an island unto yourself.
people grow emotionally, are made or broken, through relationships with others. i'm talking independent from financial success, mind you.

you're going to be arrested/stunted emotionally by avoiding closeness. maybe your other family members aren't the ones to turn to. i can fully appreciate that scenario, but someday you're gonna need to feel safe, feel okay about being vulnerable emotionally around someone else, that they will take care of your feelings rather than dismiss or stomp on them, which seems part of your core (at least from my perspective).

i hope you have some good friends, and you can cry on their shoulders, because you should if you need to. bottling it up will only compound your anxieties.

—plurry

use me as an example.

—lexieho

a lot of families are good at keeping secrets, especially the dysfunctional ones.

lena just be sure you really do have a way of dealing with it if it's not going to be going to the funeral and being around other people. people sobbing may seem annoying now but they're likely to get over it a whole lot sooner than if it was bottled up.

edit - +1 wut plury sed

—stellagold

Plurry makes a lot of sense. It is not fun being afraid of closeness. But this is your choice.

To me funerals are like weddings in the sense that the ceremony isn't what matters, but the feelings are what matter. Dealing and processing is what is important. Having people who love and care who can be there to support you.
I just worry that you will isolate yourself. Because this could be a good way of starting to do that.

I hope I didn't say anything out of line there.

—Sheena

the only reason why i know that i'm french-german is because i googled my last nmae when i was thirteen.

—lexieho

lexie, if you want me to turn my genealogy/research skillz on your family say the word. that is if you are truly curious. it would take me all of an afternoon. I otherwise support you if you don't want to know.

—bguirk

i don't really care.
and i've already spent my childhood writing heritage essays on my made-up history...or just the unimportance of heritage as a whole...teachers don't like those ones : (

i had an overwhelming need to email you today...weird. probably because masteel and i talk about you constantly.

—lexieho

really? what do you (two) say?

—bguirk

also if you found out that i was part haitian then i would be obligated to give a shit...right? that's how it works.

—lexieho

we have nothing in common except for you and plurry. our conversations are pretty dismal.

we want to meet you. soon. roadtrip.

—lexieho

also you don't have to worry...the rumor of my vadge being an old-man hoover was quickly dispelled.... i think masteel said something about vagina dentura.

—lexieho

also if you found out that i was part haitian then i would be obligated to give a shit...right?

it's not that I don't give a shit, it's that they've become an Aide-state. When shit happens and you sit around waiting for the NGO's and Military to arrive that's a really bad sign. Every 5th person in that country is a white missionary with their own mini-nonprofit. Not to be a douche and quote Sting, but "Too many cameras and not enough food." We're not really helping them by helping them for the 40th time in 39 year.

we want to meet you. soon. roadtrip.

that's a lot more difficult than it used to be, but I'll definitely be up again in October. Maybe even this summer to look at UW.

.the rumor of my vadge being an old-man hoover was quickly dispelled.

when was this a deemed a bad thing?

—bguirk

woooo...summer bguirk!

as if masteel and i are still talking six months from now.

—lexieho

you guys could come down here.

—bguirk

hello when is everyone coming to chicago

—mandee

no one goes there anymore.

—plurry

too far. bguirk is only like four hours away...and there are no mountains involved...nothing but smooth I-5...save for the mattresses in the lane.

also no offense but i would stop by plurry first and he would drown me in the river before i ever got to you.

—lexieho

you're going to need me to rescue you on my raft. i have a raft. ok. you'll need me! you'll be sorry! you'll all be sorry!

—mandee

oh. mandee in sailor-suit. adorable.

—lexieho

sometimes when a commercial is on, i'll say out loud 'do you think he likes pussy?'

—mandee

ok guys i need yallz advicez.
so my roommates have been practicing for this sketch show almost every night right outside of my room, in the living room. they yell and are loud and prevent me from doing anything outside of my room from about 8-11pm. they never asked me if it was ok if they rehearsed and i feel like that was inconsiderate. am i correct here? because if you say i'm right, i'm going to say something.

—mandee

^ you may wish to kindly address the situation. remember to seek first to understand, then to be understood. you could acknowledge their need for privacy while they work through their creative process while requesting that they acknowledge that since you pay equal rent, it is not fair to be banished from the main part of the apartment for most of the evening.

let them know that you seek an equitable resolution and ask them if they have any suggestions.

you really should address this rather than let it fester, but do so with the goal of achieving a peaceable solution rather than using it as an opportunity to vent resentment.

—pookie

2010yearofmandee you can't just walk all over me anymore and assume i won't say anything. i'm going to be like stfu or i'll embarrass you in front of buck.

—mandee

^ that'll work too

—pookie

i love you guys.

—Dusty TheHick

aw, screw you guys.

—Dusty TheHick

yeesh. been a few days since i've checked the forum, had some major major shit going on here as well. still, nothing compared to losing a parent. i'm so sorry Lena, i hope you're dealing with everything alright.

—catloaf

mandee, kill them with fire.

—plurry

one of my facebook friends, someone from high school, announced they heard the term "douchenozzle" for the first time today, and like it.

—plurry

ok guys i need yallz advicez.
so my roommates have been practicing for this sketch show almost every night right outside of my room

my question is why aren't you doing it with them? don't you want to do sketch comedy? if you join them it won't bother you. otherwise tell them to go somewhere else, it's not like the apartment isn't big enough.

—stellagold

i would think, if nothing else, you could play a simon cowell (more like paula in your case) type role in all this.

—plurry

my question is why aren't you doing it with them? don't you want to do sketch comedy? if you join them it won't bother you. otherwise tell them to go somewhere else, it's not like the apartment isn't big enough.

this is a whooooole other issue. so they started having meetings about writing the sketches while i had to work. so i told ashley that i was annoyed that they were doing this since everyone knows i work until 8:30 and why can't they just do it later. i said it to her several times and every time she said you didn't say anything/we didn't know. how i feel is that they should have been begging me to be in the group because i'm a better writer than all of them. ashley should have stood up for me and told everyone to wait until i got back, but what i've learned from being her friend over the last few years is that she wants to be the only girl. and that was apparently more important to her than me being included, even though she knows i'm really sensitive about feeling excluded. but she's a whore and does what she can to get all the male attention.
and from hearing them rehearse, i know that their show is going to be really shitty.

—mandee

this is the handicapped girl, yes?
she's not so much a whore as massively insecure. squashing the competition is how she levels the playing field. what it says is that anyone with two tits, a hole, and a heart beat is a threat.

this is an unattractive trait in an adult, and other mature adults won't help foster it. the sort of thing that you're supposed to grow out of by the end of college years.

—plurry

the sort of thing that you're supposed to grow out of by the end of college years. —plurry

i've seen many men and women in their 40s and 50s who continue to display these traits. i don't think it's a matter of age. some people will always be insecure because their parents never gave them the level of approval they desired and they'll always try to put others down in order to feel good about themselves. unless they get help. even then.

—pookie

yeah it's the handicapped girl.

—mandee

So, mandee...Are you going to report back?

I look forward to your response.

—Dusty TheHick

i'm currently getting wasted and watching the jersey shore reunion. so whenever anyone else is around all together imma git r done. and i'll report back.

—mandee

some people will always be insecure because their parents never gave them the level of approval they desired

right, it's arrested emotional development and poor coping mechanisms due to neglectful parenting.
some stay arrested, some grow out of it. the ones who do usually accomplish this through personal achievement and/or therapy. your garden variety trophy wife will go to her grave insecure.

i've met a lot of younger girls who claim to hate other girls, and it's almost always because they feel bad about themselves. they project this constant competition/comparing they are internalizing on to other girls, and say they don't have female friends because "girls are bitches." but, i've noticed that those making this proclamation often have no problems with another girl they decide is fatter or uglier than they are - someone they don't deem a threat.

—plurry

ok so i said something and i made matt feel really bad, which i feel bad about because he's so sweet. they said they would ask me next time. and i also got them to admit that they wished i was a part of the group.

—mandee

ah, the power of communication. if you only could do it without the lubricant.

—plurry

^ stop reminding me of lube. i'm still suffering from the aftershock. (no offense, h8ti)

—pookie

i'm pretty crunk but i really want to take a shower now because i love the feeling of jacking off in the water lying in bed with my feet slightly damp.

—mandee

i just woke up in a pool of my own vomit for real. i wonder if anyone noticed me passed out on the couch for about 4 hours.

—mandee

that sucks mandee, i'd hug you but... well i have this policy about not touching people with puke on them unless it's mine..

—jizzgrenade

you need to hurry up and get famous so you can go on celebrity rehab.

—plurry

lol apparently my roommates were like slapping my face and trying to wake me up for awhile. i was jus nappin y'all!

—mandee

ohhhh, you were just napping in a pool of vomit? pffft, hell if i had a nickel for every time that happened, it'd practically be a sponsorship!

—jizzgrenade

If I had a nickel for every time that happened I'd be completely broke.

—catloaf

but only cuz you cashed in the nickels for more booze, amiright?

—jizzgrenade

you right, you right

—catloaf

i don't know why i chose to crash on the couch. i usually just lay in bed with some plastic bags. then i puke in those and throw them off the balcony to hide the evidence.

—mandee

HL

—jizzgrenade

i just watched the finale of perfect strangers (i don't know why, but it happened) and that in combination with conan's last show has made me think of everything ending (even though perfect strangers ended in like the 80s) and now i'm so pre-occupied with death and my own mortality that i've started having a total panic attack and i'm sweating so hard. balki, this is what you've done to me. fuck you bronson pinchot.

—mandee

you need to give up your jew god for Jesus Christ and then you'll feel better. So simple.

—bguirk

i no

—mandee

Standing taaallllll...on the wings of my dreeeammmmss....

See you in hell!

—Dusty TheHick

YAY!

—pookie

i saw cousin larry on the electric company a couple days ago!

—catloaf

I miss my dad :(

—Natalia Carolla

aww lena i am so very sorry

—catloaf

I'd road-trip to bguirk's. When? Soonish. Very soonish. Before the next UFC. No. Too soon, next UFC is...this week? Directly after the next UFC.

bguirk, come up for my next UFC. It's the senior citizens of the UFC fighting, Couture vs. Coleman. My friends are all hard core republicans. heh.

—Masteel

holyshit i don't know what to do with myself. i want my mommy.

—mandee

^ i'd loan you my mommy, but she's completely insane.

—pookie

my mommy is ok. i just haven't seen her in like 5 months.

—mandee

I wrote a letter of resignation today. I have realized that there's a lot of beauty in this world to see and special people to spend time with. I will not spend my youth working for a greedy corporation. I encourage everyone to do the same.

—Natalia Carolla

that sounds positive.

beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. i urge you to define and tailor it for yourself rather than sticking to preconceived notions.

—plurry

>>I encourage everyone everyone who has rich parents to do the same.

—chix0r

if going back to living with my family after spending my savings gallivanting across the globe, effectively reducing my earnings to .jpegs, was an option, maybe i would consider it.

—plurry

i was offered a job today. i haven't accepted it yet.

—mandee

what are you going to do after you quit, lena?

whats the job mandee??

—jizzgrenade

assistant director of a campaign office for work for progress.

—mandee

wow, that sounds awesome

—jizzgrenade

not really. but it's not cvs, so that's good.

—mandee

mandee, why don't you try it. if you don't like it, you can always quit. i always look at such opportunities as something new to experience. it may not be your career goal, but it can be a stepping stone to something wonderful. at the very least, it's a pay increase and a new challenge.

—pookie

u can make moar $$$ givin hed, or sellin w33d.

—plurry

most of plur's posts should come with a rimshot

—pookie

and a rimjob.

—plurry

You're on your own for the latter.

—Dusty TheHick

And a handjob.

edit: argh sequence break

—Nyarlaithotep

And a hand mixer

—Dusty TheHick

i accepted this job. apparently it can be 80 hours/week of work, but they help you pay off your student loans and i just couldn't turn that down.

—mandee

what are you going to do after you quit, lena?

-jizzgrenade

Hide in your bushes all day/night.

—Natalia Carolla

With binoculars?

—Dusty TheHick

mandee, this may be a good thing. if it's not, then you can always look for another job. people typically burn through several jobs the first few years after college until they find something that suits them.

—pookie

we had stefanie, lena, and mandee working for rite aid, walgreens, and cvs respectively, and then, ~POOF~, no more.

—plurry

i'm expected to stay in this job until august 2011. then the world is my oyster.

—mandee

I would like to work at the headquarters doing marketing.

drugstores = job security.

—Natalia Carolla

then the world is my oyster.

—mandee

The world is already your oyster. Didn't they say something like that at the commencement?
Those commencement speeches are misleading. They set you up to think that you can accomplish anything without giving you some reality advice. That's why most of my classmates are still unemployed. You can't find a job without any experience, that's why you start off at the bottom even if you have a degree.

—Natalia Carolla

dis is my church

—mandee

i don't want to be chipped! :o(

—pookie

kill them with fire.

—plurry

we had stefanie, lena, and mandee working for rite aid, walgreens, and cvs respectively, and then, ~POOF~, no more.

—plurry

so much for our vicodin hookups. big pharma shed some little tears today.

—bguirk

The other day the pharmacy paged me so I can talk to an angry customer about why they wouldn't fill her prescription. They said that the quantity might have been altered so they had to contact the doctor. My question is why don't doctors write out the quantity? Anyone can change a 1 into a 9.

—Natalia Carolla

aren't most scripts filled over the phone or electronically? the '90s was the last time i actually took a piece of paper to a pharmacist.

—plurry

^It's 50/50 on the scripts being dropped off and called in.

I've noticed that the pharmacists do not recount the pills when verifying. All the do is look up the pill color and shape on the computer and open the bottle, then for consultation they just read off the leaf. Shit I can do that too for $60/hr.

—Natalia Carolla

sure, but they know stuff like - what mixed with what will make you sick or kill you.

if you have someone with multiple doctors that aren't communicating with each other, your pharmacist can be a big help.

—plurry

MOAR LIKE A FARTMACIST

—mandee

^ baZING!

—pookie

Those pharmacist are not customer-oriented. A patient will stand in their consultation window and they'll be standing there verifying a script. They need to step out of their cage and show the patient where the over-the- counter stuff is. It makes me so mad. Also the techs are the worst, they don't solve the problems with insurance. If a customer asks why they have to pay, they say it's the deductible without fully explaining to them what's going on with their insurance.

—Natalia Carolla

I stopped following p. diddy on twitter. Judging by his tweets he seems like an annoying person to work for. I feel sorry for his kids too, even though one of them got a Maybach for his 16th B-day.

—Natalia Carolla

^^ standing in line is for suckers. i call or do the 24 drive thru winda. if i need that kind of help from a pharmacist, i'm usually too weak to stand anyway. plus, i don't want to be around the other disease-harboring customers who are waiting in the in-store line.

—pookie

Corporate wants the average wait time to be under 15 minutes. That's not enough time. First you have to enter it, then the pharmacist reviews the script, then the tech fills, then pharmacist verifies it. You should the way the poor techs fill and count. It's like they're working at a fast food place. Usually about twice a month a customer comes back saying that we sold the wrong prescription to them. I wonder how many people actually took a wrong prescription without noticing. I should start keeping track of all the refunds that I do in the pharmacy.

—Natalia Carolla

I was behind an elderly couple at the pharmacy a couple days ago and the old guy couldn't get his eye drops cuz he was expecting there to be a $20 co-pay but instead they were charging him $108. i felt rull bad.

—catloaf

^ugh that happens everyday. They get mad and ask why they have to pay that much, and I just blame it on Obama.

I feel sorry for people who doesn't have health care and end up in the hospital. Over that past 2 months the hospital charged my dad over $50, 000 (not including his meds) If he didn't have insurance, we probably would have been bankrupt and homeless by now.

—Natalia Carolla

well the cool thing was the old couple didn't get mad--actually i think that's what made it more upsetting, they took it so well and were all like, "oh, well we'll call the insurance company and see if we can get it straightened out blahblahblah" and i was kinda just wishing they'd flake out and punch someone.

—catloaf

I wrote a letter of resignation today. I have realized that there's a lot of beauty in this world to see and special people to spend time with. I will not spend my youth working for a greedy corporation. I encourage everyone to do the same. —Natalia Carolla

Sweet. Girls are easy to manipulate when they're broke and hungry.

—ZTgeist

^I didn't give it to him yet. It felt really good writing it though.

—Natalia Carolla

shit i had a cravig for chikinwangs and accidentally ordered scrimps.

—mandee

i just started harmonizing with a choir on tv singing amazing grace

—mandee

LOL shit mandee how the fuck did you do that?

—jizzgrenade

I want some scrimps.

—Dusty TheHick

i pressed the wrong button.

—mandee

tanding in line is for suckers. i call or do the 24 drive thru winda. if i need that kind of help from a pharmacist, i'm usually too weak to stand anyway. plus, i don't want to be around the other disease-harboring customers who are waiting in the in-store line.

my neighborhood pharmacy delivers. they also have killer milkshakes and malts. old school.

—bguirk

I fucking hate my lousy broken brain. :*-(

—Dusty TheHick

oh haha i thought you talked to a live person.

—jizzgrenade

sorry, dusty. it makes me sad that you have to deal with such major challenges due to your health. but i am grateful for all the ways that your beautiful heart and mind DO function, and i'm proud of you for how you make the best of an unfortunate situation.

we're all broken, but in different ways. you do your best to rise above your situation to the best of your ability. you are a dear, sweet, precious soul and it is our privilege to know you.

—pookie

what pookie sed. doncha just love her?

—catloaf

if i forget to take my meds even like a few hours off schedule, it feels like i'm getting electric shocks in my brain. LOLOLOLOLOLOL

—mandee

Pookie wantsta make me cry. <3

—Dusty TheHick

^ yeah, that's pretty much what i was going for

—pookie

if i forget to take my meds even like a few hours off schedule, it feels like i'm getting electric shocks in my brain.

unfortunately that's a side effect from the medication when your body starts to feel withdrawal. if you ever want to stop what you're on, you will have to endure teh brain zaps for awhile before it subsides. bad times.

—plurry

yeah. that's why my dentist keeps prescribing it to me even though i haven't seen a psychiatrist in almost 2 years.

watching the grammys. i have never heard a taylor swift song. she is so white omg.

—mandee

u gonna let her finish?

—Dusty TheHick

Beyonce can't win album of the year with her multiple personality disorder. Lady gaga only had 2 good songs on "the fame", so I guess Taylor deserved it.

—Natalia Carolla

My dad passed away yesterday.

—Natalia Carolla

It hasn't been a good time for Dads of TLC'ers lately.

—bguirk

^Is your dad doing ok?

—Natalia Carolla

sort of. time will tell.

—bguirk

he did way too much coke in the early to mid 80's.

—plurry

wow. i remember somebody brought up justin bieber here. i was just on his facebook randomly, and saw one of his fans. the most amazing part, is that young Haider Bajwa already has over 300 friends on facebook.
im not at all surprised, and i believe this is his main demographic.

http://www.facebook.com/haider.bajwa1

—jizzgrenade

huh. i thought herve villechaize was dead.

—plurry

my friend looks exactly like justin bieber. i'm sure i've mentioned that before.

—mandee

i remember somebody brought up justin bieber here. = i'm sure i've mentioned that before.

solved. not that anyone cared

—anfernee