The
Loveline
Companion

jenked the last four hours, long night of figging ahead.

—plurry

just farted; now shaving balls

—Dusty TheHick

headed to bathroom to comb my hair, might take a dump also. undecided.

—plurry

thinking about raping the babysitter, maybe i should just beat off.

—plurry

back from cemetery. corpse head now in snake aquarium. uploaded to youtube; love my new iphone!

—plurry

watched the neighbor's daughter change clothes w/ binoculars. was that a hickey or a zit on her left titty?

—plurry

woke up surrounded by dozens of empty cans of old milwaukee. why am i wearing an elmo costume? why does my asshole hurt?

—plurry

Helped Pa break the calves. Made pipe out of corn cob.

—HocusPocus

parents are getting a divorce. mom has been crying all morning. what is my dad doing in israel?

—plurry

@HeinrichHimmler - update: 4 million down, few million to go. large shipment from krakow arriving thurs. need moar zyklon b.

—plurry

OMG luv my bf - he has it all knows how 2 plz n evry detail cn do more thn u'd evr imagine & do it w/ style he does it w/ me oh yes he does

—plurry

@osamabinladen: killed pilots, in control of american air bus. target in sight, impact imminent. love new iphone! JIHAD!!!

—plurry

i once made a twitter page and every update said "twitter is gay"

—000

pharaoh's still being a dick, wont let my ppl go. gonna have to plague the land and kill all firstborn. yahweh rawks! ps luv my new iphone

—Nyarlaithotep

^ nice

—pookie

snacking on imported cheeses

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

Couldn't secure reservation @ Dorsia. Barcadia @ 8pm instead. Tunnel afterward for drinks. Must not forget to return video tapes.

(funny if you know who patrick bateman is)

—plurry

spinning a dradel, NOT a menorah.

—foob2011

^ <3<3<3

@adam OMG u have 2 try this most delicious apple i picked from the south end of the garden! highly recommended by teh friendly talking snake

—plurry

@Jesus: OMFG--why have thou totally forsaken moi? I'm hanging on this cross, wearing a crown of thorns and you're like whatevs? Lulz.

—bguirk

Helped Pa break the calves. Made pipe out of corn cob.

@hocuspocus farmer or loanshark?

—jizzgrenade

I logged into my facebook account. I made some lascivious comments on some photos of people I actually know in real life. I logged out again.

—ZT-In-MajandraFan

i just don't have it in me to report to the internet my daily actions if they weren't unique or of certain interest to others.

i want all people who report to twitter that they are going to sleep to actually be put to sleep.

—plurry

Goodnight TL.... oh, wait, nevermind.

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

For some odd reason I was really happy when Miley was posting depressing tweets, but now she's happy again.

—adams_babymomma

Twitter's offices are located in S.F. I wonder how many people actually work there. Maybe I can apply for an internship or something?

—adams_babymomma

wow, i'm gonna call in a bomb threat

EDIT: wow, great example of something only a local could do, sean... nvm

—jizzgrenade

@hocuspocus farmer or loanshark?

—jizzgrenade

lqtm

—Dusty TheHick

RT @MahmoudAhmadinejad Why is America giving lessons on voting? What about when Kris Allen stole Idol from the lovely Adam Lambert?

—adams_babymomma

there should have been riots after gore "lost" to gwb.

—plurry

I tried to start some in Boulder, at the time, but was unsuccessful.

—ZT-In-The-90s

Poor Al Roker woke up early on accident. I did that in elementary school a few times.

—Kevin-U-in-Seclusion

—bguirk

Perez Hilton got punched!

He talks about it on his twitter. He's such a little bitch.

Mike from Dlisted is the only celebrity blog I read.

—theacm

i keep going back to read kevin's post and i just can't stop smiling.

—mandee

I hate Perez Hilton with a passion.

—awag777

it's so obnoxious when people get upset that perez hilton says something bad about them. i hate people who take themselves too seriously even though they are so insignificant.

—mandee

I could not be more indifferent toward Perez Hilton.

—anobody

Sounds like he's calling him Paris..It's pUrrr-ehzzz.

—adams_babymomma

The difference between the racism and homophobia is that Malcolm X was much better at making a point when debating straight old white men than Perez Hilton.

—ZT-In-The-90s

Seriously, now that I think about it, the gay rights movement won't go very far until they have a gun-owning black man in a suit and tie as their leader.

—ZT-In-The-90s

well everyone knows that. i think it's Obama's gig in 2017.

—bguirk

I could not be more indifferent toward Perez Hilton.

—anobody

Word up and shit.

—Dusty TheHick

I AM MALCOM X.

—ZT-In

3 yrs later update: i hate perez hilton

—mandee

He sucks and he's not funny. He's a miserable little bully. I heard he has b.o.

It's all about dlisted.com

—acm