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Memorable quotes by Dark Laith/Yog-Laithoth/Nyarlaithotep/Cthulaith:
Maybe if he learns to tell us how they really feel inside we can start calling him the Margin Whisperer.
[re: MRI showing Apple users brain lights up as if they're touching God when using Apple products]
MRI scans show devoted Apple fan is actually superstitious pigeon.
[re: seattle having a high percentage of un-vaccinated children]
Does this mean Seattle will get a higher rate of young hippie offspring dropping dead over the next few decades? That would make me happy.
Sociopathy is the greatest soporific agent known to man. They all sleep like babies at night. Little empty babies.
[re: when is skin too dark for your taste?]
When it gets all blackened and crisped and crunches when you eat it.
If Marie Antoinette had a twitter, she'd get into flamewars with all the French Revolutionaries who had twitters over who said what. Then, before you know it, someone goes over to someone's home address and BAM, beheading. It's all fun and games until someone pulls out a guillotine.
I dunno dude, a guy can only do so many suicide bombings before it catches up with him, you know?
IF WHAT PROJECT PREVENTION IS DOING MAKES THEM NAZIS, THEN SLAP A SWASTIKA ON MY ARM! I WANNA BE A NAZI!
Now I lay me down to sleep,
Pray the Lord (of DARKNESS!) my soul to keep.
And if I die before I wake,
Pray the Lord (of DARKNESS!) my soul to take.
I'll be raising and draining a fine goblet of goat's blood in celebration of the unhallowed plurthday.
I'm all in favor of splitting up Marriage the Religious Ceremony, and Marriage the Legal Contract.
If we did that, then everybody who wants the legal benefits that currently come with marriage would have to get a civil union, no matter whether they were gay, straight, or whatever. And then, on top of that, if people wanted a religious ceremony they could get that too, if it was really important to them, but the marriage (now purely a religious thing in this scenario) would confer no legal benefits nor carry any legal power at all.
Then churches, ministers, etc. could refuse to marry whomever they please -- since they would no longer hold that legal power, them denying marriage to a subset of society would no longer be an issue.
It certainly does seem to me that marriage is still the one big thing where the proper separation of church and state has not yet occurred...
Yeah, but this is America, right? That means other cultures can suck it!
O ye seated classmates
I deliver unto you my oral report entitled:
"Crushing the Infidel: How to Properly Perform Modern-Day Jihad"
fi-sabi-lillah
Please, everyone knows God is too much of a hardass conservative to imitate NPR. He's obviously going to get funding from business deals with overwhelmingly rich megacorporations. Real life will have 3 minute commercial breaks every 7 minutes.
If plurry keeps telekinetically stealing my coat I'm going to pyrokinetically set his ass on fire while he's in it.
If I started my own religion, it would totally be some kind of death-worshipping cult. Monks in ashen gray robes, secret mass killings, ominous monasteries in the mountains, that kind of stuff. No afterlife nonsense though, we'd worship the "for real" kind of death.
My understanding of asymptotes has since become a little better, so I suppose I might today modify the statement of my theory to say that, while you may never be able to actually accurately graph (or state aloud) the value for Lauren's junior producerness (LJP), there nonetheless may be/likely is an actual value of the function that could, hypothetically, accurately describe LJP.
[to greymatters] This is what you get for leaving us, you're out of the loop. I hope you've learned your lesson, never leave us again. Hug us tightly to your mysterious, amorphous, androgynous bosom and never, ever let go.
So my diabolical plans to subject poor, unintelligent, and/or mentally ill people to coercive sterilization, forced abortions, and confiscation of offspring is the only possible solution to this problem, right?
Punch him? You should kill him, grind him up, and feed the resulting meat to something feral. That's my suggestion.
Since my name means "lion" in Arabic... Can I have some Christian? Medium-rare, if you please.
[re: palin's morals compared to murderers] How DARE you. I'll not have you comparing the ancient and noble profession of mercenary killing to those vile, inhuman freaks.
[re: prop 8 proponents] In addition to what has already been said by bguirk, anobody, mandee, et al, I should point out that this kind of comparison is faulty for another reason. You are putting up a belief based in an archaic mythology up against a civil rights issue. Not only is it denying rights to a group of people, but to simply put that disagreement as "I have my opinion and you guys have yours" fails to address the severely inferior intellectual position your opinion occupies.
bguirk being jealous of anfernee makes as much sense as a PS2 being jealous of a Sega Saturn.
Ah ain't got no tahm ta lern me some Yerapean-socialist mezhurments!
[re: monkeyfart] This guy is just imitation-brand jjgold.
[on how to deal with bf/gf suffering with depression] Kill them and stuff them in your freezer.
Maybe I'm just cruel and unempathic and particularly biased against Muslim countries, but... was I the only one grinned when the pathetically small Palestinian team was shown during the March of Nations? And wanted to laugh when the announcer guy said their swimmer hadn't gotten a chance to train properly because his country didn't have any Olympic-sized swimming pools?
I'm perfectly okay with the death penalty and think it should be applied to all kinds of crimes with capricious and whimsical frequency.
[on pre-school operated by he & chix0r] Our legions of highly-trained death squads will have the most impeccable grammar this side of the planet.
Dr. Drew Live is pretty awesome and a much better alternative to (Stryker co-hosted) Loveline.
MAYONNAISE IS A REPEAT-THREADING FAGGOT.
Lena, god dammit, stop taking pictures of your tits down before I get to see them.
gary sandorf is a dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane-belching faggot.
Balderdash! Cheaply reprocessed entertainment isn't profitable! And what kind of person involved in the music industry would sacrifice their integrity and originality in their craft for the sake of popularity? Why, no one, that's who.
[the anti-drake "contributions to the community" suite:]
Drake tells bland, predictable jokes so he can pretend he's making important contributions to the community.
Drake offers worthless insights on Loveline so he can pretend people will join in and agree with his comments... and so he can pretend he's making important contributions to the community.
Drake replies to threads repeatedly until someone responds to his replies so he can pretend he's making important contributions to the community.
Drake makes new threads so he can pretend he's making important contributions to the community.
Drake might actually possess a slight shred of dignity if he killed himself. But we already know he utterly lacks that, so unfortunately I doubt it'll happen.
DEAR DOCTOR DREW,
STOP INVITING JAMES VAN PRAAGH ON YOUR RADIO SHOWS. YOU'RE SUCH A DISCREDIT TO YOURSELF SOMETIMES. JESUS EFFING CHRIST.
XOXOXO,
LAITH
This forum's members will, at times, exhibit the occasional psychological abnormality.
Bumping threads made by he-who-I-shall-not-name is like making a sacrifice in your basement, in the middle of a pentagram made of black candles and goat blood, while chanting passages from one of those fake Necronomicons. It's probably not going to actually result in anything, but if by chance some ancient horror were to be successfully summoned--and then break free, maul your ass, and go on a giant rampage--you were definitely asking for it.
You're a Jew, they don't trust Jews. They're just trying to convince you to let your guard down, and then suddenly, right when you least expect it, BAM! You'll never know what hit you, except you will because they'll all be screaming "Jihad" at the top of their lungs. Mandee, the only option for you is to instigate a Jewhad on them in preemptive retaliation.
Drake, we still don't like you. Shut the fuck up.
FUCK YOU, YOU AUSSIE CUNTBAG
I envision a day where you and I go exploring in some sewer pipes, do shrooms, and stomp on some turtles.
Stryker is spazzier than a squirrel on meth with ADD.
Bguirk, don't listen to them, clearly their despair from the end of Adam-era Loveline has finally caused them to become delusional. They're mad, raving mad I tell you, don't do it! Stryker still sucks!
This is the most depressing bestest thread ever, moar bloody pix plz. —Jaffa Cakes
fixt —Dark Laith
mmmm human.
Jenkem-Jack-'Em: The Fecal Masturbatory Board Game, made by ZT.
Come on, you know me. If I'm going to go to the trouble of hallucinating an entire world plus it's inhabitants, the least I could do is make them toil and suffer.
He who fights with asterisk bags should be careful lest he thereby become an asterisk bag.
Am I human, am I god, am I something more? You, part, mystery, etc.
More mass on a limb = more material for the jagged broken edge of a broken bone to slice through = bigger mess = more fun. God damn it grey, you should already know this stuff.
my hypocrite-o-meter just exploded.
Agreed. You heard it here first Drake, don't delay! Try Shutting The Fuck Up™ Today!
(re: stryker311's recent escalating post count...)
Oh no, believe me, if you keep this up I'll get to you first.
I don't have any songs that I would like to kill myself to, but I have lots and lots and lots of songs that I would like to kill other people to.
I find your lack of therapy disturbing.
I think we all know perfectly well that if they were to read emails on air, the show would become all about my terrorist death threats to Stryker.
I think mandee's right, Legion is just a character. No one could actually be this dumb. Could they?
I still say we need to bring back Roman-style gladiator battles. We can force convicts to be the contestants.
You forgot to mention that Stryker's mysteriously absent tonight and the show is actually listenable.
(re: lexie tells mom she is a prostitute)
I would also suggest adding "and business has been plentiful" or somesuch comment. Follow this up by waving a wad of cash in their faces.
Why make it "versus"? What we really should be doing is trying to get the two to attempt conversation in their respective altered states.
Same guy that brought Stryker in, right? Same guy that kept yelling at Adam to rant less and at Anderson to stop the drops? Boy, I can't imagine a better radio programmer than that.
Stop being wet, ocean!
Stop shining, sun!
Stop spinning, earth!
Stop critiquing movies, Ebert!
Stop ruining Loveline, Stryker!
Stop taking orgasm calls, Drew!
Stop thinking about Liz, Mike!
Stop 3D modeling, Laith!
Stop growling, Laith's empty stomach!
heh heh, laptops in the bathroom. That was how I played the majority of Final Fantasy 7, on a laptop in my bathroom. Mechwarrior 3 too.
(re: lexie's mom)
I second this, it gives you an excuse to carve her ovaries out of her hips first.
How odd, there appears to be a recent infestation of plurry in my profile page. I like this trend, I hope it continues.
On another note, thank you for being so kind as to prove Godwin's Law. Not that it needed proving.
(re: having only an hour to prepare for disaster)
I would find the nearest intersection and stand beneath the electric wires.
(re: becoming "Electric Earthquake Meteor Laith" as a result)
Well, I was planning on just dying, but I guess I could go for that.
DEMON BLOOD IS THICKER THAN... REGULAR... BLOOD.
Dear World,
Busy suicide bombing some jay oh oh-s. Be back never. Fii sabi-lillah.
P.S. Almost forgot, sys.out.println("hello");
kike vote > nigger vote, duh
Iraq isn't a civil war, it's the grim reaper finally doing his damn job, in regard to that region of the world.
Weak. Who funded those PSAs, I'm going to suicide-bomb them.
Careful, don't stress lexie out, she'll start ctrl-Xing herself.
That would've been funny if ctrl-R was reload, but it's usually redo if it's used for anything at all. You're redoing your pistol. It would appear that you really do sex up your weaponry, and now you're going to "do" it again. Hey, wait, that actually is funny.
O YEA, WELL I THINK YOURE A STUPIDHEAD, SO TAKE THAT.
Nah, sand-niggers consider celebrating birthdays to be blasphemous. And, when they get older, also insulting.
So you think writing "I lol'ed" and circling something on a screenshot is "going a long way"? How do you even get up in the morning?
this morning, I was walking by a neighbors house (incidentaly, on the way to school) and I heard a fucking rooster crowing. I looked over and, yes, not only was there a rooster, but there appeared to be those same damn three chickens that I saw in my yard 7 years ago. I actually waved at them, heh. Damn my life is weird sometimes.
After a lifetime of friday khutbas, even a Loveline with Stryker at the helm is easy to listen to.
Speaking of E. coli, Anobody, I'm looking to make large quantities of some high-grade chemical weaponry (both the pathogen as well as the delivery systems). The pathogen needs to be transmissible through air, have a reasonable survival period both inside and outside of a zoological organism, and be highly contagious. The delivery system should preferably be vaguely grenade-like (individual units transportable in one hand and can be opened/exposed/otherwise set off at a moment's notice). And when I say "large quantities," I'm talking wipe-out-the-human-race quantities. What's the best way to do this?
Okay, but only if we first kill Kevin Weatherly, grind his bones into powder, and sniff the bone powder like cocaine.
Lynchburg, Virginia? That sounds like... like, if the KKK was a government, that would be it's capital. Lynchburg.
The manly gun-toting woman-hater reads tabloids? Boy, what a fag.
The ideas of the show have given too many accurate answers about my life, my family, and people in general for me to not take them seriously.
ZT needs to relax. I relax by going to the library. I like to sit down with a good book and get tasered.
I'm starting to realize that there's a direct correlation between how much Drake posts in a thread and how much of a workout my mouse's scroll wheel gets in that thread.
I am the twilight doppelganger of Kevin. At the End of the Internets, he and I will gather at the hub, he bearing the archives of Loveline, and I bearing the archives of the Loveline Companion. We shall share the files, and when we both have complete copies of each others' collection, we shall both burn the files onto high-quality DVDs and bury them in our underwear drawers for future generations to find in later ages.
I have lived for eons, and I only await the aligning of the stars so my mad, unholy city may rise from the sea once again, that I may devour the weak human race.
Cthulhu fhtagn!
Coat hangers, helloooo. Ever heard of them?
They don't have picnics in Zimbabwe. Unless we're equating picnics with rape, then everything in Zimbabwe is a total picnic.
I diagnosed myself with awesomeness and evil.
How dare you sir, I'll have you know I eat the discarded leftovers I find in the dormitory residents' garbage.
Seriously, why am I the first one to notice this? It's been almost twelve hours since he posted that. Fuck, you people fail. God damn it.
Actually I hear they have female army members strip for you and wipe their menstrual blood on you. But hey, I would totally go for that.
[when asked, "Why don't you like the Iraqis?"] Because I hate my father and I'm screwed up and I'm acting out.
Maybe Stryker311 put so many pictures and videos of Paris Hilton on his hard drive, his computer started doing the electronic equivalent of vomiting.
My father is Muslim. I was raised as a Muslim. I know what they are all about. Can we PLEASE just bomb the Middle East out of existence. Please? -November 5, 2004
ZT (Level 19 Necromancer) casts Raise Dead on Extremely Old Thread.
You know how Christians are always telling you to read the Bible? Do it. Read the bible. It's pretty goddamn retarded.
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