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sillygilly25 |
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Monday, July 14, 2008 at 12:15 AM Cut him/her loose?
Support his/her treatment program?
Try to educate yourself on the illness? This is a serious question. I am in this position myself. We all have our problems but it seems like people would handle having a significant other with a drug addiction than a person with depression getting adequate care. Can we have a real discussion just this once?
—sillygilly25 |
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mandee |
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Monday, July 14, 2008 at 1:11 AM tell them to walk it off. —mandee |
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stefanie |
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Monday, July 14, 2008 at 4:51 AM i'm trying really hard with this right now. i'm having lots of long talks about what he really wants to do with his self. i just want him to realize his priorities and goals for right now are silly and unrealistic. he's being a real bastard of a person and i know because i was the same way a year or even two years ago. i think i'm being kind of hard on him but he's a dude. he's needs to grow up and have some semblance of responsibility. i do let him know that i care and i think he's a great person but i'm not going to baby him because i'm not his parents and i don't have time for that in any type of relationship platonic or non. i did mention therapy because that helped me out somewhat and he shot it down. so i'm just offering my support in the very small steps he is taking to get out and acclimate to his new life. i know it took me a very long time and a strong healthy relationship to end the height of my depression. so yeah i cut him loose until he can start thinking about himself in a productive positive way and prove to me i can fit in there somewhere but it's gonna take a while to forget how selfish and hurtful he has been to me in the past week. there is no treatment program involved. i don't really feel like educating myself on depression because i've been through it and i've pulled the same shit he is pulling.i just hope he doesn't take as long to get out of it as i took. —stefanie |
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ZT Spice |
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Monday, July 14, 2008 at 5:46 AM I have many thoughts on this subject. —ZT Spice |
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000 |
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Monday, July 14, 2008 at 6:02 AM my old gf was on meds for depression, she was cool 95% of the time,. but during her bad 5% she was nuts, hence our breakup —000 |
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anobody |
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Monday, July 14, 2008 at 6:10 AM How should someone deal with a boyfriend/girlfriend with depression? It's really hard to say without knowing a lot more details. How severe is the depression? What is the nature of the relationship? How old are both people? How long have they been together? Most importantly - what exactly are you talking about dealing with? Is this someone who is suicidal and just sitting inside doing nothing all day or are they just a little blue? Are they emotionally blackmailing their SO with their depression? Either way you aren't responsible for someone else's feelings and, like an addict, the best you can do is try to understand and support them in getting better, but if they're suicidal, then that's not something that someone actually can deal with (even a trained therapist couldn't and shouldn't even try to treat their boyfriend/girlfriend, and I'm sure that you or whoever you're talking about is in absolutely no position). If they're using emotional blackmail and trying to make their SO responsible for their feelings, then they are being completely unfair and that's not a healthy position for either person to be in. Without knowing any further details, I'd guess that this is something that should be treated like having a boyfriend / girlfriend / friend / family member with a drug addiction. Learn about the disease, support them in getting better, don't do all of the codependent / enabling things you might be driven to do, and, ultimately, realize that as much as you care about them, the situation is ultimately out of your hands and that you can't fix them. Also, if you have access to a trained counselor / therapist, it would be a very good idea to go in for a session to discuss the situation with them. —anobody |
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pookie |
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Monday, July 14, 2008 at 6:30 AM No matter how you slice it, it will ALWAYS be a struggle, so it all depends on your ability and willingness to deal with an ongoing struggle. —pookie |
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x |
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Monday, July 14, 2008 at 9:59 AM I've been severely depressed before (where getting out of bed to take a shower was a good day) and I don't know how bad your SO's depression is, but in the depths of mine, if there was a magic wand on a table a foot away from my bed that could have cured me, it would have been too much trouble to go pick it up, is the best way I can explain how down I was. I agree with ano that you can't "fix" them, you can only support them and if you decide to break up with him/her, and they threaten to kill themselves, then call the cops. Don't let them draw you into their stuff, they have to deal with it and get help for themselves. Hey stef- what are his priorities and what do you want them to be? i cut him loose until he can start thinking about himself in a productive positive way When someone is depressed, that is very difficult for them to do, everything seems like it sucks, it seems pointless to do anything cause it will just end up fucked up anyway, you feel worthless and like nothing is worthwhile to do. It's not like there's a "productive switch" you can turn on and off, it's wired off when you're depressed. Medication sometimes helps too, but if he doesn't want to go to the doctor there's not much you can do other than remove yourself from the situation. —x |
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plurry |
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Monday, July 14, 2008 at 10:24 AM tell them to fax their problems to loveline @ 310 854 4455. —plurry |
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anfernee |
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Monday, July 14, 2008 at 5:13 PM
Edited Monday, July 14, 2008 at 5:13 PM screw you^. apple sauce. —anfernee |
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Dick Birchum |
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Monday, July 14, 2008 at 6:58 PM Is the person you're with in some sort of addiction recovery? Are YOU in recovery? That's pretty important. We all have our problems but it seems like people would handle having a significant other with a drug addiction than a person with depression getting adequate care. ^ That confused me. If either one of you is in an early stage of recovery, get your shit, get out the door, and if the kids don't move fast enough ... fuck 'em drive away. —Dick Birchum |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Monday, July 14, 2008 at 11:37 PM Cut him/her loose?
Support his/her treatment program?
Try to educate yourself on the illness?
A very over-simplified $0.02, from Dusty:
First, try the second and third concurrently, then, if he proves to be noncompliant, unfortunately there's nothing left to do but the first. —Dusty TheHick |
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