Hey, I've been thinking about posting this for a long time. So here goes...
Did you ever hear a really filthy nursery rhyme when you were a kid? Did you ever sing it yourself? I can think of 3 or 4 off the top of my head. I don't remember who taught me these. I'm pretty sure it was some of the boys in my class.
I want to share one of my filthy nursery rhymes and I want to hear everyone else's.
I don't know the title of this one. All I know is that you have to sing it in the same way you sing "Row, Row, Row your Boat."
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck a Duck, Screw a Kangaroo, Fingerbang an Orangutan Orgies at the Zoo.
It's not a nursery rhyme really, but you sing it to the theme of The Muppet Show.
10 cents for half an hour In the bed or in the shower Make sure your cock is clean With soap or vaseline
I want my money back She's got a dirty crack (can't remember next two lines)
I remember singing that at the local supermarket when I was seven. I didn't really know what it meant. The adults got annoyed.
=========================================== Not filthy but amusing untowards nursery rhymes:
Nobody likes me Everybody hates me I think I'll go and eat worms
That's about suicide, right? All through my early childhood, it was a staple. Part of many nursery rhyme compilations and children's sing-a-long tapes.
If you go down to the woods today You're sure of a big surprise If you go down to the woods today You better go in disguise For every bear that ever there was Will gather there for certain because Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic
That's gotta be about Hampstead Heath and other secretive woodland sex gatherings. How amusing!
i'm just going to post the lyrics to 2 live crew's dirty nursery rhymes from the infamous "as nasty as they wanna be" cd.
Brother Marquis] My mama and your mama was talking little shit My mama called your mama a bulldagging ass bitch I know your sister, and the bitch ain't shit She layed me and all the boys And even sucked our dicks
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun Jack got mad, kicked Jill in the ass Cause she couldn't make him cum
Mama Bear and Papa Bear went for a walk through the forest Mama Bear asked Papa Bear could he eat her porridge Papa Bear said 'shit bitch, you must think I'm sick Just get down here, on your knees And suck this badass dick'
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man He hopped out the window with his dick in his hand Said 'excuse me lady, I'm doing my duty So pull down your pants and give me some booty'
[Fresh Kid Ice] There's an old lady who lives in a shoe Got a house full of kids don't know what to do She sucked and fucked all the niggas around When it's time to pay rent couldn't none be found
Little miss Muffet sat on a tuffet With her legs gapped open wide Up came a spider, looked up inside her And said 'that pussy's wide'
Little Jack Horner sat in a corner Fucking this cutie pie Stuck in his thumb, made the bitch cum Said 'hell of a nigga am I'
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall Cause a hoe on the avenue was sucking his balls All the king's horses and all the king's men Couldn't put that fat motherfucker back together again
[Brother Marquis] Little Red Riding Hood was on her way To grandmother's house But before she got there she met this man That turned her hot ass out
[Fresh Kid Ice] Rupunzle, Rupunzle let down your hair The dog's on my ass and getting near The hair came loose and fell in a lake Bitch, check the weave that's in that lake Bitch, get that weave out! You dirty bitch, get that weave out!
