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jizzgrenade |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 7:07 PM although it was a horrible book, possibly a worse movie, i think it makes for a decent thread. not having problems with the ladyfriend, just curious how what other women are like. ladies: how would you like your junk served?
1:prepuse: cut, uncut?
2:balls: bald or zz top's beard?
3:general pubic hair: military cut, or winter coat(in the animal sense)
4:penis, not that we have a choice: veiny or smooth; streight or crooked.
5:favorite position? fast or slow?
6:how long does the ideal sex session last.
7:are women at all aroused by the sight of the fruit bunch? —jizzgrenade |
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chix0r |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 7:16 PM 1: cut
2: bald
3: short
4: smooth; straight
5: varies. The pictures that go with Wikipedia's list of sex positions are disturbing. I don't know what a name for it is, but right now my favorite is like missionary, only with the girl flipped 180 degrees.
6: 5-10 minutes
7: neither Urban Dictionary nor Google have any idea what the hell a fruit bunch is. —chix0r |
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Beat It! |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 7:22 PM I'm guessing the "fruit bunch" is perhaps the dick and balls (in other words, banana and oranges.) —Beat It! |
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Beat It! |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 7:28 PM ^ I was going to ask that, but there's really only one way for it to work...right? —Beat It! |
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jizzgrenade |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 7:28 PM I'm guessing the "fruit bunch" is perhaps the dick and balls (in other words, banana and oranges.) —Beat It! bingo wow, i guess i made it up... —jizzgrenade |
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mandee |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 9:24 PM
Edited Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 9:25 PM 1:cut
2:bald. and modestly sized
3:cut
4:smooth ovsly, str8
5:whatever, it still hurts. i guess slow. missionary so i can just lay there.
6:quickly. one day it will feel better, right?
7:not unless it's actual fruit. you know how i am with fruit. i wish instead of having sex, you could just play with a puppy. it's not a euphemism. just a puppy.
—mandee |
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bguirk |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:18 PM my sack isn't aging well. —bguirk |
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doingdoingdoing |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:19 PM
Edited Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:20 PM i don't know why i'm doing this...
1-cut
2-naturally sparse-shaved is gross
3-same as above
4-str8, some but not overly veiny
5-fast & slow, position depends on the mood
6-20-30 mins, sex never hurt me
7-any old dick and balls plopped on a plate aren't, but with the right context and person it can be —doingdoingdoing |
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jizzgrenade |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:28 PM
Edited Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:35 PM 5:whatever, it still hurts. i guess slow. missionary so i can just lay there.
6:quickly. one day it will feel better, right? BTW: as a warning i'd like to say this may be too much info for some people, it touches on my sex life a bit though i'm not a gal, i'm pretty sure it will. my gf had that problem when we first started having sex, and it just got better with time, after a while it was fine, once she wasn't as nervous and all. we actally found that her on top, the famous reverse cowgirl i suppose, was better since she had more control. as bad as it was for her, it kinda sucked for me because i felt horrible that i was hurting her, and i'd ask if it was ok, even though she'd just want me to hurry up. i hated it.
i asked her a few months ago hows sex was for her now, if it was still uncomfortable or what. she answered "well, it doesn't hurt, it's just like 'eh..'"
i found it pretty funny, doesn't say much for me though.
i recently found out she's been pretty close to finishing a few times, so that made me happy. but yea, my sex life for those who cared to "listen"... for the sake of men around the world, mandee, don't give up on sex —jizzgrenade |
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bguirk |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:34 PM it has developed a cleft or a ledge or a flap or a fold. scrots are disgusting. —bguirk |
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jizzgrenade |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:37 PM
Edited Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:48 PM yea balls are really bad times. doing^3 if u were refering to me, trust me i've got that covered; she doesn't like oral. my lover likes me a lot but sometimes im scared because she's very active, she gives me oral sex, i just give her...the hand.. —jizzgrenade |
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catloaf |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:39 PM ah, multi-orgasmic then —catloaf |
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jizzgrenade |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:41 PM
Edited Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:47 PM ^haha i wish... no it's because she had a bad experience with her previous boyfriend and oral, he kinda forced it on her, so yea. —jizzgrenade |
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jizzgrenade |
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:45 PM
Edited Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:47 PM Oral's her neighbor btw; nice guy, turns out —jizzgrenade |
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chix0r |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 7:46 AM
Edited Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 7:47 AM If she doesn't like oral you could just use your hand, although it doesn't sound like anything will work with that girl. 7: yes, cock and balls are a turn on. —chix0r |
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jizzgrenade |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 10:26 AM welll it was a really unhealthy relationship, he was an ass, they broke up a bunch of times and kept geting back together. she wasn't like fighting back, more dissosiating, like "omg i can't believe this is happeneing" wanting it to just be over, blah yea.
she would say no and he would just keep asking, and moving closer, and eventually she just said ok. same with them always getting back together, she would dump him then he would apologize profusely till she took him back. she sorta relies too much on her boyfriends, possibly part of the bipolar disorder. she 's doin a lot better now thank christ —jizzgrenade |
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lexieho |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 10:32 AM she wasn't like fighting back the rare typed "like" —lexieho |
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lexieho |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 10:40 AM derek.....post your favorite dick. —lexieho |
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jizzgrenade |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 10:45 AM
Edited Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 10:47 AM yea it's one of the horrible american trends i've picked up, "hella" had me for a while but i'm pretty much done with that. "like"'s so usefull though, sometimes it works better for the cadence —jizzgrenade |
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plurry |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 10:52 AM
Edited Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 10:53 AM jizz's gf is a trauma survivor who hasn't admitted it to him yet. we have: at 15 she gets tat by vadge from some weirdo in a bad part of town. she was drunk when she got it. claims to be bi-polar. is "impulsive". has pain with sex. gets very little to nothing out of it.
(vaginismus is a classic sign of trauma - this means she's tolerating sex because she wants to please you.) she had a previous boyfriend who was forceful with his agenda during sex.
probably an non-empathic predator. plus, she's dating scruffy, pierced up, stoner you. WHEN DID HER DADDY RAPE HER??? —plurry |
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jizzgrenade |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 11:04 AM
Edited Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 11:08 AM claims to be bipolar? diagnosed my a medidcal professional, and bad impulse control, since when was that a sign of abuse? that goes with the manic episodes. no, sex stopped hurting after a few times. she does get some pleasure, as i found out recently, and comes close to coming sometimes. also, it's not too uncommon for women not to orgasm during sex, if you've never listened to the show pierced up? where'd you get that idea? i won't even try to argue the other two —jizzgrenade |
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stefanie |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 11:18 AM like i have preferences but if i like you enough to look at you naked whatever was going on i'd deal and be happy with it. —stefanie |
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stefanie |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 11:19 AM but hygiene is still very important —stefanie |
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anobody |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 11:19 AM
Edited Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 11:20 AM *edit* - in response to Jizz That notwithstanding, I think Plurry has probably hit the nail on the head here. —anobody |
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chix0r |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 11:22 AM >>it's not too uncommon for women not to orgasm during sex They should at least like it, though. —chix0r |
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jizzgrenade |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 11:22 AM
Edited Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 11:40 AM yes, at first glance i agree, it would seem that way. chix0r, now that the pain is gone, and she's become more relaxed she actually does like it, she asks me if i want to have sex as much if not more often than i innitiate it
—jizzgrenade |
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plurry |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 11:43 AM jizzy, didn't you issue a pic of yourself to the forum with a lip piercing? —plurry |
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anobody |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 11:46 AM I vaguely recall that as well (though I'm probably just confusing Jizz with somebody else). —anobody |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 11:55 AM Ive wanted to egt my penis pierced for a while now. Ima do it this summer. —whoisnumbaone |
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derekho |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:09 PM That sounds like a really bad idea. —derekho |
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miyagi-sama |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:23 PM Glad to see that my shaved nuts/trimmed pubes combo is in fashion. Fellas, keep a razor in the shower. —miyagi-sama |
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stefanie |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:25 PM if i saw anyone with a penis piercing irl right i way i'd be like "uuhh i have to go clean my refridgerator. see you never" —stefanie |
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lexieho |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:26 PM
Edited Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:26 PM EDIT RE: miyagi-sama ^ when was that ever out of fashion? —lexieho |
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derekho |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:27 PM How do the other dudes here shave their nards? —derekho |
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lexieho |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:28 PM ps. careful with what you say....derek is taking notes. —lexieho |
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derekho |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:29 PM I have never figured out a method that is not either extremely frightening, time consuming, or painful. —derekho |
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lexieho |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:32 PM ^ no one wants to here about this.
i hate e-dating : (
—lexieho |
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derekho |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:34 PM
Edited Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:34 PM And everyone wants to hear about everyone else's preferences in weiners? This seems like the place to ask. Edit: I hate it too. —derekho |
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miyagi-sama |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:35 PM If you're starting with an evergreen forest covering your nuts, take it down with scissors first. It sounds dangerous, but if you have an average IQ or above (whois, that means you shouldn't attempt this) you'll be fine. Then take a razor into the shower and finish it up and voila. If you do a quick 30 second touch-up every time you shower, you'll never have to break out the scissors again. —miyagi-sama |
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lexieho |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:38 PM question; where do balls end and butthole begin. [tradiohead song?] —lexieho |
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derekho |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:38 PM Scissors are fine, it's the razor that scares me. —derekho |
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plurry |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:39 PM I got my head, but my head is unraveling
Cant keep control, cant keep track of where its traveling
I got my heart but my heart is no good
And you're the only one that's understood
I come along but I don't know where you're taking me
I shouldn't go but you're reaching back and shaking me
Turn off the sun, pull the stars from the sky
The more I give to you, the more I die And I want you You are the perfect dork, the perfect dork, the perfect dork You make me hard, when I'm all soft inside
I see the truth, when I'm all stupid eyed
The arrow goes straight through my heart
Without you everything just falls apart My blood wants to say hello to you
My feelings want to get inside of you
My soul is so afraid to realize
Every little word is a lack of me And I want you You are the perfect dork, the perfect dork, the perfect dork Take me, with you Without you, without you everything falls apart
Without you, its not as much fun to pick up the pieces Its not as much fun to pick up the pieces
Without you, without you everything falls apart
Without you, its not as much fun to pick up the pieces —plurry |
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lexieho |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:41 PM You're keeping in step
In the line
Got your chin held high and you feel just fine
Because you do
What you're told
But inside your heart it is black and it's hollow and it's cold Just how deep do you believe?
Will you bite the dork that feeds?
Will you chew until it bleeds?
Can you get up off your knees?
Are you brave enough to see?
Do you want to change it? What if this whole crusade's
A charade
And behind it all there's a price to be paid
For the blood
On which we dine
Justified in the name of the holy and the divine Just how deep do you believe?
Will you bite the dork that feeds?
Will you chew until it bleeds?
Can you get up off your knees?
Are you brave enough to see?
Do you want to change it? So naive
I keep holding on to what I want to believe
I can see
But I keep holding on and on and on and on Will you bite the dork that feeds you?
Will you stay down on your knees? —lexieho |
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chix0r |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:43 PM My boyfriend only shaves his balls once a week, but apparently if he goes a week and one day, it's too much and it's harder to shave. It's kind of funny to watch him do it. —chix0r |
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miyagi-sama |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 12:44 PM Never had a single accident with the 3-blade razors. Maybe I should sell instructional videos, and then give seminars in Ramada Inns. —miyagi-sama |
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chix0r |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 1:56 PM Is it more or less funny when you spell it right? —chix0r |
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derekho |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 2:26 PM Apparently weiner and wiener mean different things. The more you know. —derekho |
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MajandraFan |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 4:04 PM Ive wanted to egt my penis pierced for a while now. Ima do it this summer. —whoisnumbaone egt? eat?
jizz, your quiz didn't ask about size, angle, head/shaft ratio/shape, or texture.
—MajandraFan |
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anfernee |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 4:11 PM for the sake of men around the world, mandee, don't give up on sex I don't think this was an issue.
bguirk, i hate to ask, but please elaborate
You're gay. —anfernee |
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mandee |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 5:03 PM I don't think this was an issue. it wasn't. i'm obviously easily convinced. —mandee |
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airking32 |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 7:04 PM Ive wanted to egt my penis pierced for a while now. Ima do it this summer. FAGGOT BETTER RUN
drew please —airking32 |
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plurry |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 7:08 PM you're really going to put a spear through your junk? every time i'm ready to turn the corner on you, you say or do something retarted. —plurry |
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doingdoingdoing |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 7:46 PM
Edited Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 7:51 PM Glad to see that my shaved nuts/trimmed pubes combo is in fashion. Fellas, keep a razor in the shower.
—miyagi-sama I said it's gross. If she doesn't like oral you could just use your hand, although it doesn't sound like anything will work with that girl.
—chix0r I already said give her a good HJ. Jesus Christ, no one reads my posteses. edit I saw a guy that looked exactly like whois Friday, he was all "yo you got a boyfriend, damn girl". Apparently he fancies himself some kind of Mexican rapper. He wore a ball cap kinda up and cocked to the side and was bugging my friend who does sound tech to record him. —doingdoingdoing |
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MajandraFan |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 7:59 PM
Edited Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 8:00 PM you must have a look that is irresistable to mexicans. woah, i misspelled irresistible! —MajandraFan |
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jizzgrenade |
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 10:06 PM
Edited Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 10:07 PM plurry, no i've never posted a pic like that, i've only posted 4 pics before. i've never had a piercing, but i suppose i would fit the stereotype jizz, your quiz didn't ask about size, angle, head/shaft ratio/shape, or texture. -MajandraFan mf you're right, though i don't know what you mean by texture...
i have updated the questions; ladies feel free to take it again, then again feel free to pass on it, and lets get some guys in on this too... 1:prepuse: cut or uncut?
2:balls: bald or furry?
3:general pubic hair: shaved, military cut, or winter coat(in the animal sense)
4:penis: veiny or smooth; streight or crooked.
5:sex: favorite position? fast or slow pace?
6:sex: how long should it last?
7:dick and balls: "hawt", sometimes nice, or better with the lights off?
8:dick: pointing up, down, to the side or streight out?
9:head: mushroom tip or smooth
10:penis: how long, and how big around, though thats hard to estimate— —jizzgrenade |
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anfernee |
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Monday, June 9, 2008 at 6:17 AM You're gay dude^, that's too much. —anfernee |
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Beat It! |
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Monday, June 9, 2008 at 8:07 AM The sincere usage of "hella" should be grounds for immediate sterilization. And I second plurry's analysis of jizz's girl. She's a mess and it's hard to believe her parents are perfectly wonderful people. These things don't happen in a vacuum as much as people like to think they do. I think jizz'll see the situation more clearly once he's removed from it. —Beat It! |
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catloaf |
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Monday, June 9, 2008 at 10:47 AM lol jizz'll. jizz'll jizz'll jizz'll jizz'll. There, now it's lost all meaning. —catloaf |
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Beat It! |
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Monday, June 9, 2008 at 12:06 PM every time i'm ready to turn the corner on you, you say or do something retarted. — plurry Bears repeating. —Beat It! |
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