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whoisnumbaone |
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Sunday, April 6, 2008 at 11:59 PM I havent gotten laid in many months. However, there is this girl with a huge rack who likes me. She is coming over this saturday for a date and she already told me that she plans on "spending the night." So it looks like its fixed right? WRONG. I am no longer a douchebag asshole. I really DO NOT want a relationship with her. She really wants a relationship. Now I told her today that Im not looking for anyting long term, and that I in fact FEAR commitment. She told me that she will not waste her time with me. yet she keeps calling me nad sending me n00dz. I know I can bang this chick, but my conscience is eating me up and tells me that its wong. I feel in my heart that I shoul not have sex with her and in fact, I should stop all communication with her because I know she really likes me and its just making it harder for her. But im really horney! What should I do? —whoisnumbaone |
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MajandraFan |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 12:01 AM Rape her. Then you can both feel terrible together yet avoid a relationship.
You should post the n00dz, and then we will advise you further. NOW. —Jaffa Cakes |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 12:02 AM oh i forgot to mention. she used to live in florida, and she sounds like she is 10 yrs old, but is actually 23. —whoisnumbaone |
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Jaffa Cakes |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 12:03 AM
Edited Monday, April 7, 2008 at 12:03 AM MajandraCakes or Jaffa Fan? —Jaffa Cakes |
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acm323 |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 12:42 AM How old are you? If you're over 21 just cruise the local bars and pick up a chick there. There's plenty of skanks that are looking for a one night stand or even a fuck buddy. I would leave this girl alone. She sounds like trouble. —acm323 |
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Beat It! |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 5:24 AM whois = Mexico's answer to Drake Post the photos she sent (same precedent as hot herpes girl with the animal bedsheets) and then we'll proceed. —Beat It! |
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mandee |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 5:38 AM for some reason, i get really invested in andrew's high school prom drama (prama), but when whois posts something like this, i just genuinely don't care. also, what beat it said. —mandee |
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000 |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 6:48 AM 
—000 |
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chix0r |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 1:05 PM I had a dream last night that MF turned into a penis. And balls. Regular-sized, not giant. I had to take care of him for a couple of weeks (this included taking him to the beach) until he "got better" and turned back into a person. —chix0r |
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pookie |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 1:17 PM ... would you say they were modestly-sized? —pookie |
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TortillaFactory |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 3:31 PM but when whois posts something like this, i just genuinely don't care. I think it has to do with the fact that the title is "My current sexual situation" The implication that we are supposed to care is insulting. If he were like "hay guyz what should I do about this girl" we wouldn't care either, but we might take a certain voyeuristic pleasure in it. —TortillaFactory |
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chix0r |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 5:33 PM I can't speak for you, but the reason I don't care is that he already knows the answer and there was no point to his post other than ego. —chix0r |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 5:51 PM
Edited Monday, April 7, 2008 at 5:53 PM ^kind of... and there is an obvious choice. However im more concerned with (the whole point of my question) is it OK to just bang when Ive already told her upfront that I dont want a relationship. Does the fact that I was upfront with her absolve me from any responsibility?
I cant really do the fuck buddy thing
Oh, did I mention she has bangs?
—whoisnumbaone |
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chix0r |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 5:53 PM >>Does the fact that I was upfront with her absolve me from any responsibility? No, and you know it doesn't. —chix0r |
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bguirk |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 8:07 PM we need to see pics or it didn't happen. —bguirk |
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anobody |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 8:48 PM How the hell am i compared to drake? I'd say it's a combination of the non-question question, and the semi-boastful bit about the hot / horny chick who is into you... who, by the way, you're now too much of a gentleman to take advantage of. The only thing about that is that I don't really get that sort of deceitful manipulative vibe from you, so I'm actually inclined to think that this is a genuine non-Drakonian thread. Giving you the benefit of a doubt, I'd just echo acm's advice (both about the bars and the girl), chix0r's response on both counts, and acm's laughter at pookie's post. —anobody |
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ZT Spice |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 9:07 PM What should I do? —whoisnumbaone Email the girl who likes kicking balls from yahoo answers. —ZT Spice |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Monday, April 7, 2008 at 11:55 PM no im not posting the n00d of this new girl. this chick doesnt deserve that. the other one i could giove a shit about, which is why i posted the previous n00d.
Anyways, I was really being genuine. All I want, is your poinion if telling her upfront that I dont want a relationship makes it OK to bang her, even knowing that she wants more? Seriously
—whoisnumbaone |
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anobody |
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Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 7:26 AM
Edited Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 7:27 AM I think you have your answer (to summarize - pretty much a resounding "no"... but wear a condom when you do it anyway against our advice). —anobody |
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shakrat |
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Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 8:54 AM Make the decision immediately after masturbating. That's when a man's mind is clearest, especially for decisions like this. —shakrat |
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chix0r |
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Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 3:17 PM I just electrocuted myself. I didn't like it. —chix0r |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 4:11 PM It doesn't absolve you completely; what it DOES do is add some culpability on HER end. Just my poinion. —Dusty TheHick |
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bguirk |
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Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 7:11 PM this chick doesnt deserve that. but we do. —bguirk |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 7:36 PM chix0r: How did you manage to electrocute yourself? I look forward to your response. —Dusty TheHick |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 11:24 AM She decided to take the batteries out of he vibrator and hardwire it into the wall in the hope that it would give the mechanism MORE POWER. Then, as she was getting fucked by her lover, she stuck it in his ass, and somehow there was a short and the electric shok traveled through his ass, went down his penis, and into her vagina. It was HOT, and now its a weekly ting. —whoisnumbaone |
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chix0r |
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Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 2:30 PM I don't have a vibrator. I accidentally touched the prongs of a plug when I was unplugging it. —chix0r |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 4:44 PM I accidentally touched the prongs of a plug when I was unplugging it.
I fucking hate that shit. Fortunately, it hasn't happened to me in years.
—Dusty TheHick |
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TortillaFactory |
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Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 6:10 PM that's why they have the plastic part? I haven't done that since I was a child and I seriously didn't know it was possible once you gained small motor skills. —TortillaFactory |
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derekho |
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Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 7:57 PM
Edited Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 8:00 PM European style plugs are hard to shock yourself with. Granted they are twice as powerful so if you get shocked you die. Edit: unneccessary. —derekho |
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TortillaFactory |
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Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 9:58 PM a little, yeah. the apple i ate tasted kind of bitter on the outside. i washed it, too. am i going to die? —TortillaFactory |
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MajandraFan |
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Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 10:11 PM The bitterness is from insecticide or because your apple was kept in frozen storage for months to as part of a profit maximizing scheme by a large supermarket chain or food distribution company or something.
I'm guessing option 2. —MajandraFan |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 12:09 AM
Edited Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 12:09 AM FUCK that CUNT! here are her mammaries 
she is a liar. ill post more mammaries later
—whoisnumbaone |
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mandee |
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 4:25 AM it could also be an extra nipple. —mandee |
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chix0r |
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 2:32 PM Disgusting boob, fat hand..should've spared us all by making that a link, I say. —chix0r |
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TortillaFactory |
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 2:46 PM I am pretty sure that's not a "wedding ring," if anything it might be some bullshit engagement/promise thing. It's way too tacky for a wedding ring, even for someone who'd take a picture like that. —TortillaFactory |
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MajandraFan |
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 4:14 PM Anyone want to guess why "no longer a douchebag asshole" turned catty? Here's mine: He broke down and tried to take her up on her sex offer only to find out that she didn't want him in the first place. Realizing that his moral test, which he failed, was only ever in his head made him furious so he punched her in the mouth and posted half of her mammaries on this little corner of computer internet. —MajandraFan |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 4:26 PM ^ NOPE Turns out she has a BF, and they are on a "break." Waaaaaaaay more than I even want to TRY and deal with. I hate the fact that she lied. —whoisnumbaone |
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bguirk |
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 4:26 PM
Edited Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 4:27 PM He broke down and tried to take her up on her sex offer only to find out that she didn't want him in the first place I don't think chicks send pictures of their tits to guys they don't want to fuck. If they did I'd have an inbox full of boobs. —bguirk |
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MajandraFan |
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 4:51 PM You've never met a girl who wants attention from Some-body Any-body not You-body? You do breathe hallowed air indeed, sir. —MajandraFan |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 5:14 PM What's that weird growth on her boob? —Jaffa Cakes
Her hand.
...or, y'know...a shadow from the flower. —Dusty TheHick |
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adams_babymomma |
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 5:20 PM
Edited Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 5:20 PM Speaking of wedding/engagement rings, some girl in my class wears one because her family is upset that she's living with her boyfriend, and they have a PLANNED 10 month old. They lied to them by saying that they're in the process of getting married, even though they have no intentions to get married. I wanted to ask her, since they have a planned baby why not just legally get married without have a wedding ceremony. If her boyfriend were to leave her she would have a tough time getting all the money back since they do not have a married/joint bank account. Am I right?
—adams_babymomma |
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bguirk |
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 7:36 PM
Edited Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 7:36 PM You've never met a girl who wants attention from Some-body Any-body not You-body? You do breathe hallowed air indeed, sir. —MajandraFan that was just my lame attempt at being funny. I know no one else liked it, but I think an "inbox full of boobs" is comedy gold. —bguirk |
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suckafish |
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 10:49 PM "Her hand." You dumbfucks, he was making a joke. The growth = the flower. —suckafish |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Friday, April 11, 2008 at 4:24 PM
Edited Friday, April 11, 2008 at 4:25 PM Actually, the name is the only reason I'd suspected he was Nathaniel.
EDIT: It didn't occur to me until after I'd logged off that Mikey's new screen names don't kick in anymore.
—Dusty TheHick |
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TortillaFactory |
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Friday, April 11, 2008 at 4:39 PM yeah, it's pretty sad. of course he already has many new ones to choose from. every time i see "suckafish" i first read it as mikeyfish, even though i know it's not him posting because he's not sitting in this chair right now. —TortillaFactory |
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bguirk |
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Friday, April 11, 2008 at 8:51 PM I don't jerk off to pictures. Maybe if someone I knew sent me one it might be enough to do it for me, but mere boobs on the internets doesn't do it for me anymore. I need either reality or depravity. —bguirk |
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mandee |
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Friday, April 11, 2008 at 9:41 PM that boob is gross. i think that has already been established. —mandee |
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Beat It! |
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Monday, April 14, 2008 at 8:14 AM ^ Indeed. And it has nothing to do with her being chunk-ay, it's more of a 'Dear God, who stole that girl's areola' type of deal combined with the blotchiness. However, if areola-less, blotchy, chunky girls are your thang, she is quite a catch. By the way, I love the 'classy' flower touch. She's a regular Annie Leibovitz. I don't think chicks send pictures of their tits to guys they don't want to fuck. If they did I'd have an inbox full of boobs. — bguirk I know it's already been hashed over, but fuck it, I was gone. This is some funny stuff and it needed to be properly acknowledged as such. —Beat It! |
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Yog-Laithoth |
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Monday, April 14, 2008 at 9:12 AM I know it's already been hashed over, but fuck it, I was gone. This is some funny stuff and it needed to be properly acknowledged as such. —Beat It! My profile assures you that it has been. —Yog-Laithoth |
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pookie |
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Monday, April 14, 2008 at 9:16 AM "However, if areola-less, blotchy, chunky girls are your thang, she is quite a catch." -Beat It! ^ attn: Yog —pookie |
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bguirk |
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Monday, April 14, 2008 at 10:21 AM
Edited Monday, April 14, 2008 at 10:22 AM Indeed. And it has nothing to do with her being chunk-ay, it's more of a 'Dear God, who stole that girl's areola' type of deal combined with the blotchiness. I can't believe I'm about to defend that boob, but as someone who's a few shades darker than albino I'll just say that light colored flesh (like that of most American boobs) and closeup flash photography are not friends. When taking pictures of boobs turn of the flash and hold it steady or try some more advanced techniques. We need more quality amateur boob pictures people This is some funny stuff and it needed to be properly acknowledged as such. —Beat It! aww thanks guys. I liked your post too. —bguirk |
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TortillaFactory |
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Monday, April 14, 2008 at 3:51 PM I have near-invisible areolas. Why doesn't Firefox recognize that as a word? Did I spell it wrong? I don't think I spelled it wrong. They don't show up unless it's very cold. I don't think there's anything wrong with not having pepperonis on my boobs. To me, the weirdest part of that picture is the placement of the nipple. It doesn't seem like the boob is shaped right. —TortillaFactory |
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adams_babymomma |
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Monday, April 14, 2008 at 7:16 PM
Edited Monday, April 14, 2008 at 7:21 PM She's going for that peek-a-boo nipple look. It's like "oh, I didn't realize my nipple showed, I thought the flower was covering it. Hehe : | ...and I'm not sure why she has her hand placed over her boob, she should have just lifted her boob up. —adams_babymomma |
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