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airking32 |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 3:49 AM -Rip a fake mustache off a man and yell “ah HA!”
-Wipe down a gun and put it in a guys hand
-Catch a punch
-Roll a car… couple times, no biggy
-Play bass in an all black band.
...at a certain point I make my way over to the guys playing the conga drums, the guys with the funky hair, and we have a laugh. You don’t know what its about cause you’re in the audience and you can’t hear us
-Have a hot towel on my face in a barber shop and smoke a cigar through it
-Dislocate my shoulder to get out of a straight jacket
-Urinate on a jellyfish sting
-Hop into a cab and yell “follow that car!” adam's recent list. admirable goals. what would YOU like to do before you die?
—airking32 |
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bguirk |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 5:21 AM my short list: threesome (the good kind)
Egypt (without fear of getting kidnapped)
Dunk on the court in a live game and tea-bag a guy while hanging from the rim(this one is getting less and less likely)
See the day when we're finally off oil and invading little dictatorships.
Laura Silverman —bguirk |
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Beat It! |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 6:17 AM - Kill a tree with my bare hands.
- Plant a man. —Beat It! |
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000 |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 6:59 AM leap into a body of water with a knife in my teeth —000 |
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mandee |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 7:46 AM poop at the western wall...OH WAIT! I ALREADY DID THAT! —mandee |
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foob2011 |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 8:21 AM -threesome (check)
-do mushrooms (check)
-visit as many countries as possible (working on it)
-work for myself
-be happy —foob2011 |
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ZT Spice |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 8:35 AM
Edited Friday, February 8, 2008 at 8:35 AM Before i die, I'd like too: 
(to the guy who posts the most gay porn on TLC) —ZT Spice |
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mandee |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 10:27 AM foob tell us about your threesome. i'm too curious about TLCers sexcapades. —mandee |
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ZT Spice |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 10:47 AM
Edited Friday, February 8, 2008 at 10:47 AM we're all gossip sluts. —ZT Spice |
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anobody |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 10:48 AM threesome (the good kind) Maybe I'm just weird but I don't have any particular interest in this. If I could do it in a holodeck with an assorted bunch of simulated big-breasted hot chicks whose only want was to please me and there'd be no need to use protection, then I'd be interested... but as for real life, it's like communism, libertarianism or parecon - I just can't imagine a scenario where it'd actually work out.
—anobody |
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bguirk |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 11:04 AM not to be too crude, but what the hell. all that had to happen for it to "work out" is for me to get off. I would never involve anyone I actually cared about (other than myself) in such a scenario. it's not like it'll ever happen now anyway so I can dream. —bguirk |
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Beat It! |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 11:04 AM
Edited Friday, February 8, 2008 at 11:07 AM Knowing what images foob has posted of late, I'm guessing there were several penises involved (shudder) in his threesome. —Beat It! |
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anobody |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 12:41 PM not to be too crude, but what the hell. all that had to happen for it to "work out" is for me to get off. I would never involve anyone I actually cared about (other than myself) in such a scenario. it's not like it'll ever happen now anyway so I can dream. I'm just saying that as nice as the fantasy sounds, actually doing it would probably end up being pretty lame. Even ignoring that you'd probably ending up doing it with two fours or fives rather than two nines and that you get the awkwardness of the first time with someone times two, not to mention that because they're real people, you've got to make some effort to please them*, just the need for protection would ruin it for me. Ending up with a nice permanent canker sore for the memory of some mediocre experience that couldn't possibly come close to living up to my fantasies or even be very fulfilling just doesn't seem like a good trade off to me. *Disclaimer: this would all be different if you were a rock star with a room full of hotties throwing themselves at you.
—anobody |
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airking32 |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 1:17 PM i was blindsided by the opportunity to engage in a threesome (yes, the good kind) last summer, and did. as you asserted ano, they weren't the most attractive girls (they weren't fat though, so that was a plus); however, the amount of alcohol involved negated any awkwardness and as it turned out, they were very into pleasing each OTHER, so i didn't have to worry too much about it. using protection was a non-issue, but then, i've never had a hard time with a it... i don't find myself having to "chub up" when using a condom in one-on-one escapades. neither was my girlfriend, i wouldn't be interested in such a scenario with any girl who was. in retrospect it was a fun, story worthy, good "thing i did before i die" experience. it wasn't your fantasy, but it didn't suck either. i'm certain (unless i ARRIVE) it'll never happen again. at the very least, it was a sizable deposit in the jack-bank. —airking32 |
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airking32 |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 2:23 PM
Edited Friday, February 8, 2008 at 2:23 PM pick up a phone and ask: "how did you get this number?" —airking32 |
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mandee |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 2:48 PM have sex with a celebrity —mandee |
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John Lennon |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 3:20 PM
Edited Friday, February 8, 2008 at 3:23 PM Have a better relationship with my parents —John Lennon |
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foob2011 |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 3:24 PM i was blindsided by the opportunity to engage in a threesome (yes, the good kind) last summer, and did. as you asserted ano, they weren't the most attractive girls (they weren't fat though, so that was a plus); however, the amount of alcohol involved negated any awkwardness and as it turned out, they were very into pleasing each OTHER, so i didn't have to worry too much about it. using protection was a non-issue, but then, i've never had a hard time with a it... i don't find myself having to "chub up" when using a condom in one-on-one escapades. neither was my girlfriend, i wouldn't be interested in such a scenario with any girl who was. in retrospect it was a fun, story worthy, good "thing i did before i die" experience. it wasn't your fantasy, but it didn't suck either. i'm certain (unless i ARRIVE) it'll never happen again. at the very least, it was a sizable deposit in the jack-bank.
—airking32
Mine was quite like that. I happened to be drinking with an ex girlfriend who I hadn't spoken to in over a month and then a friend(girl) of mine that my ex went to high school with came over. We were drinking everclear, so we got shitty really fast. Then my ex just sorta fell on me and started kissing me, and we all disrobed pretty much immediately. They started making out on the floor and I was fingering them both, just drunk as hell and thinking "this is fucking sweet." Then they got on the bed and started 69ing and i kept fingering them and doing random shit that i don't really remember. Then they sorta stoped and layed down next to each other on the bed. I got out my exes vibrator/dildo and started using that on her while I put a condom on and started having sex with my friend and that went on for a while until we all basically passed out from being drunk and exhausted. Is this win? [y/n] Also, I just bought the new 160 gig iPod. Is this win? [y/n] —foob2011 |
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chix0r |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 6:42 PM He never said he fingered them both at the exact same time, but isn't your handspan magically the same as your height or something weird like that? Easily do-able. —chix0r |
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bguirk |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 7:57 PM You guys are really harping on one item on my list. I'd much rather do Laura Silverman. —bguirk |
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adams_babymomma |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 8:27 PM I would never have sex with someone drunk. I don't want him to wake up the next day saying "EWW, I HAD SEX WITH HER?" —adams_babymomma |
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acm323 |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 8:59 PM
Edited Friday, February 8, 2008 at 9:01 PM *Kick someone in the balls
*Meet Tom Cruise and tell him he is an ugly, crazy, evil little homo.
*Learn a musical instrument
*Convince a wonderful guy to marry me
*Give a lot of money to my favorite charities
*Have some children, maybe even see my grandchildren
*Publish the book I'm writing
*Meet Robert Plant ZT, that knife in the eyeball...why? —acm323 |
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adams_babymomma |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 9:42 PM Look, I already apologized, goddammit! —Dusty TheHick It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
—adams_babymomma |
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foob2011 |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 11:14 PM *Convince a wonderful guy to marry me —acm323 I'll marry you. He never said he fingered them both at the exact same time, but isn't your handspan magically the same as your height or something weird like that? Easily do-able.
—chix0r
Yes, I did finger them both at the same time. Yes, your arm span is about the same as your height, but my arm spam wouldn't even have to be that long anyway, only as long as the girls' torsos.
—foob2011 |
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plurry |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 11:16 PM i'm good. i'm ready to go whenever. —plurry |
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foob2011 |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 11:27 PM you could just die right now and it'd be all good? —foob2011 |
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foob2011 |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 11:30 PM have my penis registered as a gun and when girls use it ill be able to say "whoa whoa whoa, do you have a permit?" —foob2011 |
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plurry |
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Friday, February 8, 2008 at 11:45 PM you could just die right now and it'd be all good? —foob2011 now that you mention it, i haven't tried heroin or coke yet. —plurry |
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ZT Spice |
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Saturday, February 9, 2008 at 12:30 AM ZT, that knife in the eyeball...why? —acm323 Actually it's just in the eye socket (and brain), it didn't go through the eyeball. But it's fair for people who post gay porn on TLC -- it's even a step below an eye for an eye. —ZT Spice |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Saturday, February 9, 2008 at 1:04 AM wow this is interesting. -kayak from the top of russian river all the way down to the ocean
-drive a lamborghini diablo VT roadster all the way from SF to Santa Barbara on hwy 1
-be in a movie
-freedive with some great white sharks
-dj in ibiza
-go mountaineering and climb a glacier
-peyote
-try shooting speed
-convince airking32 that hes NOT right ALL THE TIME about EVERYTHING
-be a guest on loveline
-kick a rapist in the throat
-stay a couple nights at The Bacara in santa barbara —whoisnumbaone |
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acm323 |
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Saturday, February 9, 2008 at 2:16 AM I told my dad that if I knew that I had only 24 hours to live I'd try heroin. Why not? It's not like I'll ever have a withdrawl. —acm323 |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Saturday, February 9, 2008 at 10:31 AM The cool thing about me and drugs is that I dont really get addicted. Ive tried alot of shit including speed and usually I just do it for one night, and then im over it and dont even think about it for months. I dont think heroin would be any different. —whoisnumbaone |
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chix0r |
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Saturday, February 9, 2008 at 1:30 PM >>you could just die right now and it'd be all good? I'm totally ready to die. There are things I plan to do, but I wouldn't care if they didn't happen before I died. —chix0r |
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John Lennon |
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Saturday, February 9, 2008 at 9:17 PM
Edited Saturday, February 9, 2008 at 9:17 PM Take a ride in a clothes dryer and washing machine. Walk through a car wash. —John Lennon |
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anfernee |
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Saturday, February 9, 2008 at 10:34 PM take a crap in a urinal Check.
long and hilarious story behind that actually, but I can't discuss such things
—anfernee |
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anfernee |
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Saturday, February 9, 2008 at 10:39 PM One probably worthy of that abomination of a thread from whois —anfernee |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Saturday, February 9, 2008 at 11:06 PM long and hilarious story behind that actually, but I can't discuss such thinga
yeah post it! i wanna read it! —whoisnumbaone |
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plurry |
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Sunday, February 10, 2008 at 1:27 PM he doesn't feel comfortable talking about poo. —plurry |
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plurry |
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Sunday, February 10, 2008 at 5:13 PM
Edited Sunday, February 10, 2008 at 5:14 PM for some people, it's the jews. for others, the blacks. some, the gays. but for anfernee, it's the poo. —plurry |
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anfernee |
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Monday, February 11, 2008 at 12:45 AM Ok, this goes against all I believe, but at least it's MY excrement and not someone else's. Anyway, it's my freshman year in High School, and I've still never had a first kiss [I used to be super shy], and there's this girl that realllly likes me in Biology and I kinda liked her back and yeah it was cute. So then the teacher announces we have a field trip to some place called Yosemite. The day of the trip comes and, the girl decided to come! It wasn't mandatory. I sat down and guess who sat right next to me on the bus? Anyway, we got there, hiked down some giant hill and tired the hell outta me, and we fell behind the pack. I then realized I had to "go" reallly badly. We took a bus back up to the top and we got seperated from the rest of the class, so it's just me and girlie, and we're on this weird bus with weird hiker people, and I am fidgeting everywhere. We FINALLY get back on the charter which has a restroom on it [Thank GOD!], I do a mad dash for it while everyone else is still outside. SON OF A BITCH! IT'S OUT OF SERVICE! At this point I'm about to pop, so I sit down and think about what I'm going to do. The girl asks if something's wrong. I don't reply and suddenly run off the bus and everyone's like yelling "what the fuck are you doing? we're about to leave!" I ignore them and run to the yosemite market, and sprint to the bathroom, open the door and...lo and behold: SOMEONE's IN THE FUCKING STALL! I basically say to myself "you've got to be shitting me, this is the worst situation ever" I look under and from the look of this hispanics guys chubby legs, he was not going anywhere anytime soon. Well the bus is about to leave, and I am literally fucked, so I drop the shorts and "release" onto the urinal. Here's another twist to the story. I happen to be lactose intolerant and let's just say I had a bit too much cheese on my cheese and pastrami sandwich. Yeah, diarreah decided to strike at the worst possible time. It basically shot out of me at 100 mph and covered the urinal. The urinal happened to face the freaking door, so I'm like "omg someone from my class is gonna walk in..." but no, a little 8 year old kid walks in, looks at me, looks like he's about to cry then runs back out, slightly hilarious. So I finish up and, dear god, it had gotten everywhere. That urinal was fucked. Then I stand there bottomless and realize, no toilet paper. And FUCKING bathroom had those blow-dryers. SO I take off the red polka dot [I still remember what they looked like] boxers and just wipe myself clean as possible. I throw my shorts back on, ditch the boxers on the floor and go outside. I buy a Chewie bar and run back to the bus and claim the Chewie bar is why I held everyone up for 10 minutes, cause I "just HAD to have one" I told my irate teacher. I reclaimed my place on the bus next to the girl, and she's like "what the heck did you do??" I looked at her and just said "trust me, you do NOT want to know" and started laughing. Oh yeah then a little bit later after we had departed, I thought of not only the kid I probably traumatized, but also the people that had to clean that up, what they must be thinking: "What. The. Fuck.", and also I pictured the fat guy in the stall's reaction. He's hearing someone shit outside the stall and thinking "I'm sitting on the only toilet, so where exactly is that going??" and then him walking out and seeing it. ah, I was laughing my ass off. That girl thought I was crazy after that, and the ride home was so uncomfortable with no underwear on, and me smelling like shit. But yeah, hilarious story that I've had to keep to myself all these years, until now. Oh and I talked to that girl recently, and she said she wanted me to kiss her so badly that day either when we were hiking or on the busride back, I just laughed to myself again.
Someone put this in that abomination of a thread which I refuse to click on.
—anfernee |
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HocusPocus |
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Monday, February 11, 2008 at 12:51 AM ^ most hilarious I'm sure it was very embarrassing for you at the moment, but at least you can look back on it now and laugh. —HocusPocus |
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airking32 |
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Monday, February 11, 2008 at 1:30 AM i lauged out loud several times while reading that story. great rendition anfernee. —airking32 |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Monday, February 11, 2008 at 12:17 PM yeah afernee, your a great story-teller. Funniest poop story thus far. —whoisnumbaone |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Monday, February 11, 2008 at 6:56 PM Anfernee, you should click on that "abomination." There's something in there that was created just for you. —Dusty TheHick |
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acm323 |
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Monday, February 11, 2008 at 10:47 PM Oh yeah, before I die I would like to see a million faces...and rock them all! —acm323 |
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greymatters |
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Monday, February 11, 2008 at 10:59 PM before i die i'd like to... ...watch whoisnumbaone and airking32 commit simultaneous TLC suicide, hopefully taking out Bloated Cancer in the process. Oh, and anobody. —greymatters |
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Shocking! |
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Monday, February 11, 2008 at 11:16 PM *Fly in the Space Shuttle
*Kill a great white shark
*Learn to play bass guitar
*Arrest Osama Bin Laden
*Write a book
*Snub a snobby celebrity
*Help deliver a baby
*Thank all of my school teachers
*Punch out a Nazi
*Get in a high speed chase where I evade the police
*Tell Robert Deniro that "Yes, I am talking to you"
*Peek inside Area 51
*Learn a third language
*Take Sigourney Weaver to dinner —Shocking! |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Monday, February 11, 2008 at 11:57 PM
Edited Monday, February 11, 2008 at 11:57 PM Oh yeah, before I die I would like to see a million faces...and rock them all! —acm323 that is by far the best one I've heard... and id like to add it to my list too :) —whoisnumbaone |
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plurry |
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Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 12:01 AM acm is a cowgirl.
on a steel horse she rides. —plurry |
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Beat It! |
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Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 4:29 AM Okay, once the Bon Jovi quoting begins, the thread officially dies. What, Loverboy is too highbrow for you? —Beat It! |
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mandee |
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Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 6:59 AM *Take Sigourney Weaver to dinner i lol'd. i lol at any sigourney weaver reference. —mandee |
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plurry |
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Monday, February 18, 2008 at 3:17 PM ^ is headed for a heartbreak —plurry |
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ucrchik21 |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 1:41 AM WELLLLL.........i actually wanna die and then i want to live my next life backwards.You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.You work 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, you’re generally promiscuous, and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid , you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then…You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and then, you finish off as an orgasm.]]
lol
—ucrchik21 |
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airking32 |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 1:43 AM
Edited Monday, March 3, 2008 at 1:49 AM ^ old bit. —airking32 |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 1:45 AM
Edited Monday, March 3, 2008 at 1:46 AM Wow! that is by far the most creative/cool thing anyone has posted on this thread, possibly even the entire message board since ive been here. BTW - airking hasnt even told us what his list of things is an HE STARTED THIS THREAD! he just ripped his list off Adam. ps. you better not delete that scott. —whoisnumbaone |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 1:48 AM mikey is a fish. and he is in love with a factory in NY where they make tortillas. —whoisnumbaone |
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ucrchik21 |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 1:53 AM handmade tortillas? n this is SELENE! get it right yo!!!!! —ucrchik21 |
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airking32 |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 1:55 AM whois, you didn't REALLY get selene to start posting on this forum, did you? if you DID, somehow, then you MUST turn her into a cult follower. she must understand the loveline lifestyle to post here, i feel. —airking32 |
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Jaffa Cakes |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 1:55 AM
Edited Monday, March 3, 2008 at 2:00 AM ? who the hell is mikey? ItHadToBeJew —Jaffa Cakes |
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whoisnumbaone |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 2:01 AM yeah dude... i told her that she would really like this because its 100x more fun than myspace. Plus you KNOW how much she enjoys writing, and how she has a great sense of weird humor. I think she would be great for teh forum. —whoisnumbaone |
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airking32 |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 2:02 AM airking hasnt even told us what his list of things is -ARRIVE —airking32 |
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anfernee |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 2:33 AM
Edited Monday, March 3, 2008 at 2:34 AM ahah, I need an acoustic guitar, and was searching craigslist, and found this Why is that old lady included in the set of pictures?? He gives no explanation. I guess it's subliminal messaging. —anfernee |
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ucrchik21 |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 2:55 AM u know u wanted to turn the ol lady around and do her against the guitar, while u strumm her a " fine tune on that instrument" , and u sing sweet nothings into her ear... hahahah - —ucrchik21 |
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anfernee |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 3:02 AM lol, yeah, well... she is pretty bomb —anfernee |
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plurry |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 5:01 AM
Edited Monday, March 3, 2008 at 5:15 AM mikey is a fish. and he is in love with a factory in NY where they make tortillas. almost attn: laith worthy ucrchik21: MOFTW - i'm for serial —plurry |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 4:12 PM I think she would be great for teh forum. —whoisnumbaone
So far, I do not share your opinion.
Also: reiterating MOFTW —Dusty TheHick |
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anfernee |
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Monday, March 3, 2008 at 10:31 PM Someone give me 245 dollars so I can buy it and see if she comes with it or what. —anfernee |
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