He's so stupid and not funny and gay and stupid and slow-talking and not fucking funny. Mother fucker. Also, he's a nig, and I'm a nigger-hanger. Not really, I like a lot of black people, they're good at everything...except comedy. Did anyone see him on Jay Leno [right now]? Mother fucker he's annoying as fuck. I HATE HIM
Noah: Is someone calling me? (Shrugs and goes back to his work)
God: NOAH!!
Noah: Who is that?
God: It's the Lord, Noah.
Noah: Right ... Where are ya? What do ya want? I’ve been good.
God: I want you to build an ark.
Noah: Right ... What’s an ark?
God: Get some wood and build it 300 cubits by 80 cubits by 40 cubits.
Noah: Right ... What’s a cubit?
God: Well never mind. Don’t worry about that right now. After you build the ark, I want you to go out into the world and collect all the animals of the world, two by two, male and female, and put them into the ark.
Noah: Right ... Who is this really? What’s going on? How come you want me to do all these weird things?
God: I’m going to destroy the world.
Noah: Right ... Am I on Candid Camera? How are you gonna do it?
God: I’m going to make it rain for a thousand days and drown them right out.
Noah: Right ... Listen, do this and you’ll save water. Let it rain for forty days and forty nights and wait for the sewers to back up.
God: Right...
(noah decides to heed god's voice.)
Neighbor: Hey! You over there.
Noah: What do you want?
Neighbor: What is this thing?
Noah: It’s an ark.
Neighbor: Uh huh, well you want to get it out of my driveway? I’ve gotta get to work. Hey listen, what’s this thing for anyway?
Noah: I can’t tell you.
Neighbor: Can’t you even give me a little hint?
Noah: You want a hint?
Neighbor: Yes, please.
Noah: Well, how long can you tread water?
Neighbor: There’s one in every neighborhood. (Shakes head and leaves)
(noah gets ark built.)
Noah: Hey, anybody know how to tell the difference between a male and a female mosquito? (Looking in a box) I told your rabbits before, only two! (puts box in boat) Whew, finally the last two animals are on board. Let’s get this thing closed up before God asks me to do something else. I’m six hundred years old. I am getting too old for this sort of thing.
God: Noah!
Noah: I knew it. What do you want now?
God: You’re going to have to take one of those hippos off and get another one.
Noah: Why?
God: ‘Cause you got two males. You need a female.
Noah: I’m too tired to bring anything else on board. You change one of them.
God: Come on, you know I don’t work like that.
Noah: But I’m sick and tired of this. I’ve been working all day everyday like crazy for months now, dawn to dusk. I’m tired of this.
God: Noah
Noah: Yeah?
God: How long can you tread water?
Noah: Yeah, well I got news for you. You keep talking about this flood and I haven’t seen a drop of rain. Meanwhile, the whole neighborhood is making fun of me. I told one of my friends I’d been talking to the Lord and he laughed so hard he wet his pants. Do you know I’m the only guy in town with an ark in his yard? People are picketing and calling the health department, strangers walk up to me and say "How’s it going, Tarzan?" I am sick and tired of all of this. I had a pregnant elephant. . . Do you give me an instruction book? . . . No!!! Here I am standing under the elephant and brrrrrrrrump! Right on top of me! I’m telling you, I’ve had enough. You’re supposed to see all and know all, well have you seen the bottom of that ark? Who’s going to clean up that mess? Not me, I tell you. I quit. I’m tired of this. I’m going to let the animals out and burn that ark down. I can’t believe you made me do all this . . . I can’t believe the mess you got me in and . . . and . . . it’s raining?!? . . . This isn’t just a shower is it? OK. All right, it’s me and you Lord, me and you all the way. I’m with you Lord. Whatever you say!!!
Saturday, June 16, 2007 at 1:16 AM Edited Saturday, June 16, 2007 at 1:19 AM
Margaret Cho
Margaret Cho is NOT black, I'm not that stupid.
And what the hell was that, that wasn't funny, and 60% of it was credits
Eddie Murphy - Not funny, addicted to trannies. I was giving her a ride home my ass.
Richard Pryor - Don't know much about him, but I know he had sex with a different every night and I don't respect that.
DAG - You got me here, although I am a fan, I don't think he's hilarious, he seems like he's on a drug half the time cause he's sooo hyper. He is funny though
Look lets get this straight - Richard Pryor was fucking funny at standup although films where hit and miss. Eddie Murphy was his bastard son and took after his dad (*) therefore fucking funny at standup although his films where hit and miss. Bill Cosby never made me laugh! Lenny Henry used to be funny - Chef WAS very funny but short lived. Lenny has not been funny for a long time. I think we took to him in England for the same reason America took to Cosby - White Black Man! No threat. Pryor and Murphy where prepared to push the envelope.
I just reread anfernee's post and I jumped the gun with my response. I just don't like him using the n-word. I'm not that big of a fan of Bill Cosby either so I guess he and I can agree on that.
I'm not racist, I said they're good at everything. Had To is one of my favorite posters. Some of my favorite bands have black lead singers: Gym Class Heroes, Skindred, Killswitch Engage, Sevendust. 50% of my fav athletes are black. I said nigger-hanger cuz I had just played Halo2 with my friends and someone named NIGGER-HANGER was dominating and it was fresh in my mind.
I want to refine my comments about Bill as to not offend anyone.
I think he's not very funny, and very overrated. He is also hard to understand and talks to slow. Some may find him funny but I don't. The reason I posted this thread is cuz he was on Jay Leno and pissing me off cause I was in a bad mood and really agitated and he was just annoying me to death.
respectable list. I take it back. Give eddie and bill a chance. If you follow comics for long enough you'll learn that they're all self loathing and insane.
I loved The Cosby Show and Fat Albert when I was a kid. Through the 90s I was always glad to see him out there, hosting that You Bet Your Life show or starring in that murder mystery series he had. I'll be irrationally sad when he dies, just like when Don Adams did. Bill Cosby, TLC, 2004
I heard that Drake was banned from the Ellen Page fan club. You know why.
