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Batman |
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Monday, January 8, 2007 at 11:42 PM The following were found on a woman's blog. I've lost address, or I'd direct you there. Anyhow, discuss: Nikki decided that I should blog 10 things I believe my perfect man would have (in no order)...... 1. Honesty - It makes life easier for everyone if I can believe what he says.
2. Motivation/Drive - He has to be a go getter. Slackers are a no no!
3. Attentive - I know I am big on attention, if he is paying attention properly, I'll tell him verbally and non verbally what's going on.
4. Attractive - I don't judge a book by the cover, but I have to like something about the cover to even pick the book up.
5. Sensitive - I don't want an overly emotional man but I want him to feel comfortable crying on my shoulder. Express yourself, communicate.....
6. Intelligent - I'll teach him somethings, he'll teach me somethings, we'll learn somethings together. You can't teach me anything if you don't know nothing.
7. Family oriented - I have a huge family plus Pooka and I come as a package deal. A lot of men don't want ready made families and I am not for them.
8. Open minded - I talk to and befriend many types of people and like to experience different things so as my companion, I would want him to be willing do some of them things with me.
9. Spiritual - He doesn't have to be at church every weekend, but he has to believe in a higher power.
10. Affectionate - Hold my hand, caress my face, all the cute small things that keep me thinking of him all day long. I am a touchy feeling person with men I like so it works great if it's mutual. —Batman |
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AbsolutCarib |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 12:01 AM 7. Family oriented - I have a huge family plus Pooka and I come as a package deal. A lot of men don't want ready made families and I am not for them. Thatīs a toughy, right there.....thatīs a toughy. You walk in together... honey donīt be nervous, im sure they are gonna love you, itīs gonna be fine Immediately she changes sides and puts her one arm around the brother and the other around the aunt. The whole family staring you down. Itīs a pāckage deal baby...so DEAL with IT Then the rest of the night she and the family are ignoring you and you are in the corner talking a plant. Pretending to be thinking about something off in the distance.
—AbsolutCarib |
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striker |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 12:12 AM I speak for 100% of men when I say we're sick of women's stupid lists of what constitutes the "perfect man." Women who make such lists are the "perfectly stupid woman." It's WOMEN where the diversity is. Men are mostly the same, are either good or bad, and women never stop BITCHING about the lack of diversity among males because women are denial queens. Lists like the above are just dumb women living in the abstract vague world instead of reality. Now HERE'S list that means something, that is specific, not vague abstract bullshit, and would reduce the divorce rate to near zero if women would stop being selfish and live it.
 —striker |
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John Lennon |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 12:30 AM striker's wife's place: behind him with the Crisco can. —John Lennon |
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bguirk |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 1:08 AM
Edited Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 1:09 AM I speak for 100% of men when I say we're sick of women's stupid lists of what constitutes the "perfect man." Sadly I agree. —bguirk |
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Queen TortillaFactory |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 1:12 AM every time i agree with legion, i die a little inside. but seriously, what's wrong with picking up the house and acting cheerful when your man comes home? also all those things are faked, but whatever. —Queen TortillaFactory |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 1:13 AM
Edited Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 1:14 AM Sadly I agree. bguirk
I do, too. I just felt lazy on this thred. I had that whole paragraph highlighted and copied, preparing to "mark the calendar," but I decided "to hell with it."
—Dusty TheHick |
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greymatters |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 1:13 AM Nathaniel, she faked those orgasms, every one of them, she's speaking in code. —greymatters |
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greymatters |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 1:20 AM My mom is dead! BURN! (Oh, sweet jesus, did she burn...) —greymatters |
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AbsolutCarib |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 2:20 AM
Edited Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 2:20 AM carib, you are the new anobody. smaller hands
Uhh......(whispers).....heīs standing right there. Did you have to say it right in front of him..?...dude...this is gonna be awkward. Thanks alot.
(smallers hands: "go on now.")
(nervous Carib goes over to anobodys table, not exactly invited though)
"Dude I dont know, they told me to...can I have half of that sandwich?"
(Anobody slams his tray down and storms off....) (Carib just stands there like an idiot, shifty eyed. Pretending to be talking on his cellphone....then it rings......as he is talking..) smaller hands you are the new greymatters.......Fuck....THIS should be good.
—AbsolutCarib |
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pookie |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 3:41 AM I think the guide is correct when it says that guys like women to be "a little gay." —pookie |
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catloaf |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 4:41 AM
Edited Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 4:42 AM I think that means that men prefer short queers. —catloaf |
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pookie |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 4:59 AM Ah. My bad. Btw, when are we gonna see yer kitten? —pookie |
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catloaf |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 5:06 AM Soon I hope :) She's due in about 2 1/2 to 3 weeks so I'm set to pop any ol' time. —catloaf |
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miyagi-sama |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 9:06 AM Do most women really think that there are men like this out there in the world, or is this just the emotionally-masturbatorial ramblings of a few nut jobs (I sincerely hope it's the latter)? This is the same as men that expect to marry 19 year old 5' 10" 110 lb. blondes with a 28 DDD who are virgins but have somehow have already mastered more sex positions than a Thai whore, make 350 grand a year, cook gourmet meals every night, and never ask you for any help except to remove their novelty-size bra. —miyagi-sama |
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chix0r |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 11:45 AM I've never felt compelled to make a list, but I don't see what's so impossible about that. Why doesn't a man exist who's honest, has a job, listens to what one says, isn't butt-ugly, communicates problems, has general knowledge, likes big families, isn't horridly judgmental, believes in some general higher power, and likes to touch the ladies? There's a lot of things on that list I personally couldn't care less about, but it doesn't sound too far-fetched to me that a guy like that exists. —chix0r |
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Audrey Raines |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 12:44 PM I liken it somewhat to Adam's theory about people who write letters. There's nothing so wrong about wanting someone like this, but sitting down and making a list of traits is odd. Just like the desire to write angry letters is normal, but actually following through on it is...odd. There's a girl in my class right now who doesn't shave her legs. This isn't relevant at all, but it's bothering me. She needs to wear pants without holes in them. —Audrey Raines |
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chix0r |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 1:59 PM My most common bad dreams involve being out at school or wherever, and suddenly realizing my legs aren't shaved. —chix0r |
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pookie |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 2:05 PM To chixOr: He exists. I'm married to him. —pookie |
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AbsolutCarib |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 2:11 PM I liken it somewhat to Adam's theory about people who write letters. There's nothing so wrong about wanting someone like this, but sitting down and making a list of traits is odd. Just like the desire to write angry letters is normal, but actually following through on it is...odd.
Bingo. That is the whole point.
Sure, everyone has a list in their mind of all of the things that they want and all of the people they want to kill. Everyone. Every last one of us. It is the freak that sits down and writes it, who crosses the line into dementia. Therefore, while SOME of the things on that list seem pretty ok, the fact that she wrote it, and I read it, makes the whole thing completely outrageous. Subtley. Show some tact when asking for what you want. Here is my list Big Boobs
Nice Ass
Long Shiny Hair
Feminine demeanor
Likes to wear heels, and long nails
Laughs at my jokes
Knows how to cook
Treats other people well
Non sadistic, non insecure, doesnt like attention
No catfighting (Nothing less attractive then two stupid chicks bitching each other out over jealousy and boys)
No dancing on tables to get other guys attention, whore.
Speaks any language besides English.
There....now I look like an A-hole....because while I want all of these things, to make a list of demands, is maniacal. In fact to be able to organize so well what it is that you want from other people makes you a sociopath.
—AbsolutCarib |
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mandeemoo22 |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 7:28 PM I love making lists. I make lists about everything, all the time. They're really just for fun. I mean, a list about a 'perfect man' is obviously theoretical because no one is perfect. If I had to make a list, it would include:
- piercing blue eyes
- really patient with me
- incredibly open-minded
- self-depricating sense of humor
- wears argyle and sweatervests
- if i wanted him to grow a beard, he would
- radical lefty
- well informed about world issues
- passionate about human rights
- sings in the car
- shows genuine interest in me
- no weird freckles/moles but i mean, this is an ideal list. if there was someone who really didn't want to grow a beard, i would be able to settle. —mandeemoo22 |
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mandeemoo22 |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 7:38 PM things that kind of gross stefanie out:
- lists like these
- talking willow trees
- other things —mandeemoo22 |
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bguirk |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 8:26 PM To chixOr: He exists. I'm married to him. pookie Awww that's sweet. You guys got married young right? I doubt you had a list back then?
- piercing blue eyes
Check
- really patient with me
Check
- incredibly open-minded
Check
- self-depricating sense of humor
I'm such an idiot. Ha!
- wears argyle and sweatervests
Check (I own 8 sweater vests, 1 is argyle)
- if i wanted him to grow a beard, he would
I have a beard right now.
- radical lefty
I'm somewhere to the left of Mao
- well informed about world issues
I'm very concerned about Darfur
- passionate about human rights
Check
- sings in the car
I've been working my way through the Grease soundtrack. Bye Bye Birdie is next
- shows genuine interest in me
We've chatted have we not?
- no weird freckles/moles
Awww shit. I have a weird mole to the far left of my scrot (to the right of anyone giving me oral). My doctor says not to worry because the sun doesn't shine on it (he thinks) but it's just so fucking big and gross. I guess I'm disqualified.
—bguirk |
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lexieho |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 8:36 PM my boy discovered [between 2nd and 3rd period today] that i have a freckle on my right ear lobe. i had been hiding it for him for six months, i hope he doesn't break-up with me because of it. —lexieho |
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mandeemoo22 |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 8:36 PM (I own 8 sweater vests, 1 is argyle)
I've been working my way through the Grease soundtrack. Bye Bye Birdie is next I hope those two phrases are true. I could totally overlook the scrot mole for this. 8 sweatervests? Showtunes? Gosh, I have quite the boner! —mandeemoo22 |
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mandeemoo22 |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 8:41 PM I have a weird mole to the far left of my scrot Oh, I forgot. Pixplz —mandeemoo22 |
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bguirk |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 9:04 PM Oh, I forgot. Pixplz
I almost dropped the camera in the toilet. It's kind of a hard (no pun intended) area to photograph without getting some sack in there. I did get it to show up once, but you can totally see me holding some stuff off to the side and if I close up on it things get super gross so it's just not gonna happen. I tried though. Showtunes? Dick Van Dyke and I will be singing "Talk to Me" in two part harmony with the barber shop quartet tomorrow. Sometimes I sing the Dick parts and sometimes I'm the bass for the quartet. I was gay in another life. —bguirk |
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John Lennon |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 9:22 PM My grandpa and I made a checklist of what an ideal girl would be. —John Lennon |
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bguirk |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 9:25 PM I married the ideal girl, but much to her chargin I don't believe in soul mates. —bguirk |
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OneNutAaron |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 9:33 PM MANDEE - My answers are in ALL CAPS! I love making lists. I make lists about everything, all the time. They're really just for fun. I mean, a list about a 'perfect man' is obviously theoretical because no one is perfect. If I had to make a list, it would include:
- piercing blue eyes (EH, MINE ARE GREEN)
- really patient with me (I NEVER LOSE MY COOL)
- incredibly open-minded (I'M LIKE DENNY'S)
- self-depricating sense of humor (I'M NOT VERY FUNNY)
- wears argyle and sweatervests (I'M A GOLFER, I LOVE ARGYLE)
- if i wanted him to grow a beard, he would (EH....)
- radical lefty (I WRITE LEFT-HANDED?)
- well informed about world issues (THE PRICE OF OIL IS DIRECTLY RELATED TO.....)
- passionate about human rights (LEAVE CHINA ALONE! LEAVE CHINA ALONE!)
- sings in the car (AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS)
- shows genuine interest in me (HOW'S SCHOOL GOING?)
- no weird freckles/moles (MOLE FREE SINCE '83)
—OneNutAaron |
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lexieho |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 9:35 PM
Edited Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 9:36 PM (MOLE FREE SINCE '83)
that's catchy. ps. "no moles/freckles" is totally discriminating against stefanie and i. totally. —lexieho |
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mandeemoo22 |
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007 at 11:44 PM IT'S MY LIST, NOT YOURS AND YOU DON'T GET A LIST BECAUSE YOU ARE GROSSED OUT BY THEM AND I DON'T WANT TO UPSET YOU BUT I DID ANYWAY FUCK I'M SUCH A FAILURE SORRY. —mandeemoo22 |
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catloaf |
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Wednesday, January 10, 2007 at 3:13 AM I had to give up on finding the perfect man because my mom was already married to him and they seem pretty tight....plus, that's kinda, yanno, icky. —catloaf |
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bguirk |
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Wednesday, January 10, 2007 at 8:14 AM Mr. Rogers once sang a song about wanting to marry his mother. It creeped me out. —bguirk |
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MajandraFan |
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Friday, January 12, 2007 at 1:16 PM To do list: - nice. It's a ratio thing. She has to be kind most of the time. I can't deal with people who are almost always mean. I'd rather be alone.
And not being vicious. When she's sad, most of the time, just be sad, don't take it out on me. I'm down a lot, but I never lash out any more. Haven't for many years. I need the same from her. - hard working. At least to the level where she'll maintain the house clean, and cook good meals, and wash clothes, with me. I don't want to have to shoulder such basic chores unless she has a broken leg or the flu or something.
Balanced, of course. I have a light work load in the present, she's flat out? Of course I'm going to be handling more of the chore thing. I have this ideal of it being immoral to hire cleaners and servants, or at least if they are hired to pay them way more than they get paid thereby making them unaffordable to anyone with a moral income. So these kinds of things have to be done by us. - cute. I don't revel in this last one but it is true. I can't be more specific cuz I've never yet been able to draw a common thread between any of the girls I like, neither physically nor personality-wise.
It just means she's attractive though. A girl I find sparky who fulfills the first two requirements. Otherwise I'd rather be alone. Like I am now. And I hate being alone, but I won't settle for anyone cruel and lazy, even if she is astoundingly lush. It's fun pretending I have a handle on things, just for a moment. —MajandraFan |
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