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Why'd they need a lawyer II: This time it's racist.

  

anobody

+

Thursday, June 1, 2006 at 8:15 PM

Since I know that everyone studies everything I post like the Zapruder film (and cause I'm pissed that Phoenix lost), I'll spare you the protracted introduction.

Please keep in mind that this is just for fun - nobody's keeping score and the winner will not receive a windbreaker, nor the looser be flogged severely with an old chinook salmon.

NickCorrectAttempts
ABM11
Catloaf 01
Chrispy 11
Dark Laith 01
Dusty 11
Grey 01
NYBret 0.251
Plurry 11
SH 0.51

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for the scoring and any disputes in must be taken up with the gaming commissioner

anobody

  

rAnCIDsICk@!!!

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 12:08 AM

Fucking Phillips and Associates wanted $5000. to take my case with
my first DUI. They were tryin to say that they could find a loop hole in my
case and I would have to do minimal time.
I just took the plea bargin offered to me and did only one day in jail plus
all this other bullshit.

Well there's 2 games left. This saturday there's going to be either a lot of pissed of people out here in phx or a lot of people going nuts.

Where you watching the game bro?

rAnCIDsICk@!!!

  

smaller hands

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 8:21 AM

I have never attempted to answer one of these things. Why am I in the chart?

smaller hands

  

Dark Laith

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 9:21 AM

I'm voting "Other Drugs." Something about his face, he just looks a little... wasted away.

Dark Laith

  

anobody

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Friday, June 2, 2006 at 9:34 AM

I have never attempted to answer one of these things. Why am I in the chart?

First - read the disclaimer.

Second - you got half credit for showing your hand with your talk of DUI.

Third - this really hasn't taken off like I had hoped (between only getting one response so far and feeling like an ass after reading rAnCID's post).

anobody

  

NYBret

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Friday, June 2, 2006 at 11:21 AM

I agree with Laith. This guy probably got popped for drug possession or sales.

Or insider trading.

NYBret

  

mikeyfish

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Friday, June 2, 2006 at 12:09 PM

That's my son, you pothead!

mikeyfish

  

MajandraFan

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 12:35 PM

Black people can't afford lawyers = duh

MajandraFan

  

adams_babymomma

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Friday, June 2, 2006 at 12:38 PM

I say becuase he's black. He seems like a person who obey's the law.

I changed my mind it's duress.

***off topic***

yesterday i was watching the national spelling bee, on cbs? or abc? i forgot..but anyways i just want to say that there were no Hispanic kids, just the usual Caucasian, Asians, and a whole bunch of Indians.

adams_babymomma

  

mikeyfish

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 12:39 PM

What about mulattos?

mikeyfish

  

mikeyfish

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 12:39 PM

Or oreos, for that matter. Are they really black? Yeah.

mikeyfish

  

adams_babymomma

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Friday, June 2, 2006 at 12:41 PM

^ when i say Hispanic, i mean 100% Mexican.

adams_babymomma

  

mikeyfish

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 12:42 PM

Well, I was talking to MajandraFan, but I understand your point.

mikeyfish

  

plurryho

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Friday, June 2, 2006 at 1:23 PM

i'm going other criminal offense.
i think he looks like... a rapist!

plurryho

  

MajandraFan

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 1:23 PM

were there any octoroons in the spelling bee?
i bet there were.

MajandraFan

  

adams_babymomma

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 2:51 PM

no but there was a half white have Asian girl. What are they called?

adams_babymomma

  

MajandraFan

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 2:55 PM

Eurasian?
Hot?
Forbidden?
Abomination?

You realise you're Asian, right?

MajandraFan

  

adams_babymomma

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 2:56 PM

This is so cool. Tiger Woods made up his own racial word Cablinasian —Caucasian/Black/American Indian/Asian

adams_babymomma

  

adams_babymomma

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 2:57 PM
Edited Friday, June 2, 2006 at 2:57 PM

You realise you're Asian, right?

—MajandraFan

Asian? Me? no...i hate panda express

adams_babymomma

  

MajandraFan

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 3:02 PM

Just where do you think Assyria is, doe eyes?

MajandraFan

  

adams_babymomma

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 3:51 PM

That does not make me Asian. Even though Iraq is in the continent of Asia.

adams_babymomma

  

greymatters

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 3:58 PM

asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia, asian, asia

greymatters

  

MajandraFan

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 4:01 PM

It kinda does honey.

MajandraFan

  

catloaf

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 4:18 PM

I don't say this often, but I'm going with MF on this one.

catloaf

  

greymatters

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 4:21 PM

MF makes sense more often than you think, but most people just skip whatever he types so they miss his point.

greymatters

  

MajandraFan

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 4:25 PM

Mr Greymatters is a gentleman of some influence. He has courted several duchesses.

MajandraFan

  

plurryho

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 4:33 PM
Edited Friday, June 2, 2006 at 4:36 PM

look on the bright side, lena. this means you can call most of us "round eye" when you're looking for a good insult.

what is an assyrian anyway? jew meets indian?
fill me in, i have no idea. srsly.

plurryho

  

smaller hands

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 4:35 PM

That does not make me Asian. Even though Iraq is in the continent of Asia.

—adams_babymomma

I demand this be added to Laith's quotes. hahahahahahah

smaller hands

  

catloaf

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 4:45 PM

2nd

catloaf

  

greymatters

+

Friday, June 2, 2006 at 4:46 PM

Why can't you see that ABM is just toying with all of you? This is madness.

greymatters

  

adams_babymomma

+

Saturday, June 3, 2006 at 11:39 AM

what is an assyrian anyway? jew meets indian?
fill me in, i have no idea. srsly.

—plurryho

we used to have this huge empire BC time, then the arabs came and took it. We dont have a country anymore, and pretty much most of our history and art work is taken out or skipped in the hstory books.

adams_babymomma

  

000

+

Saturday, June 3, 2006 at 6:07 PM

d u guys have any great inventions like the hawaiians do?

000

  

plurryho

+

Saturday, June 3, 2006 at 6:46 PM

i think they invented...

TERRORISM!!!

plurryho

  

adams_babymomma

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Saturday, June 3, 2006 at 7:06 PM

^no we're not Islam> Most Assyrians are Christians. We invented the great mathematical division of the circle into 360 degrees and were among the first to invent longitude and latitude in geographical navigation. We also developed a sophisticated medical science which greatly influenced medical science as far away as Greece.

adams_babymomma

  

adams_babymomma

+

Saturday, June 3, 2006 at 7:08 PM

we also developed writing, irrigation and sanitation techniques, the "Pythagorean theorem," the concept of zero, glass, and the arch, column, and dome. We revolutionized transportation around 3500 B.C. by inventing the wheel and were among the first to harness the wind as an energy source by using the sail.







adams_babymomma

  

Beat It!

+

Saturday, June 3, 2006 at 7:18 PM

And don't forget the internet. And Post-Its.

Beat It!

  

adams_babymomma

+

Saturday, June 3, 2006 at 7:26 PM

No we are not that advanced.

adams_babymomma

  

plurryho

+

Saturday, June 3, 2006 at 7:31 PM

al gore invented the internets. anobody told me so.
michelle invented post-its. makes sense, lisa kudrow is a jew.

(if you didn't see romy and michelle's high school reunion, the 2nd statement will mean nothing to you.)

plurryho

  

anobody

+

Saturday, June 3, 2006 at 7:38 PM

Normally I find that nasally voice annoying but for some reason I actually liked that Romy chick.

anobody

  

Beat It!

+

Saturday, June 3, 2006 at 7:45 PM

michelle invented post-its.

Damn straight. But wasn't she Assyrian? Romy had to be.

Beat It!

  

anobody

+

Saturday, June 3, 2006 at 8:40 PM

Why can't you see that ABM is just toying with all of you? This is madness.

I didn't see it before but ABM is actually a comedic virtuoso and she's playing all of us like Stratovarii.

Since I know you're all dying to see the answer, here she blows -

anobody

  

Beat It!

+

Saturday, June 3, 2006 at 8:49 PM

I was just gonna say 'criminal offense.'

Beat It!

  

anobody

+

Saturday, June 3, 2006 at 9:07 PM

Oh well... there's always next time (coming soon to a forum near you).

anobody

  

plurryho

+

Sunday, June 4, 2006 at 2:55 AM

wow. i finally found another game i'm good at besides fantasy baseball.
yeah, i'm one of those foobs. won my league 3 out of the last 4 years.
(calling all nerds!)

plurryho

  

anobody

+

Sunday, June 4, 2006 at 9:36 AM

Yeah - you're currently in the lead with 2/2.

There'll be another one shortly (I just have to find a bit of time to cut the commercial up and post it to Grey'sTube).

(calling all nerds!)

Normally I'd respond to that call but, in this case, you're on your own.

In my current job, I'm surrounded by people who are so nerdy that they don't even know what fantasy baseball (physics departments are an... interesting cross-section of people).

In my previous job, I was working with a group of engineers who were relatively normal so they had a fantasy baseball league but I was the only one (out of ~20) who abstained from playing.

anobody

  

Dusty TheHick

+

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 at 3:02 AM

I don't mean to split hairs, anobody, but "criminal offense" could mean ANYTHING arrestable...including (but not limited to) any of the above.

Dusty TheHick

  

ProfessorCarbuncle

+

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 at 4:31 AM

Fucking Phillips and Associates wanted $5000. to take my case with
my first DUI. They were tryin to say that they could find a loop hole in my
case and I would have to do minimal time.
I just took the plea bargin offered to me and did only one day in jail plus
all this other bullshit.

Yeah, I'd rather spend a week in jail than pay 5 grand. (assuming I don't lose my job).

how much time do you think you would have done if you pleaded innocent and were found guilty? I didn't know they actually had people do time for 1st time DUIs. What state are you in?

ProfessorCarbuncle

  

anobody

+

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 at 5:59 AM

I don't mean to split hairs, anobody, but "criminal offense" could mean ANYTHING arrestable...including (but not limited to) any of the above.

Yeah, I know (hence the 'other').

how much time do you think you would have done if you pleaded innocent and were found guilty? I didn't know they actually had people do time for 1st time DUIs. What state are you in?

We're in AZ and the penalties are arguably relatively severe (which I would say is a good thing).

Just for the first offense with BAC of 0.080 or greater - 10 days of jail time (with up to 9 suspended by the court oh agreement for drug evaluation of treatment), a $250 fine, license suspension for 90 days, counseling and probation.

For the first extreme DUI (BAC 0.150 or greater) - 30 days of jail time (up to 20 suspended), $250 fine, 90 day suspension a bit of counseling and probation and an ignition interlock device.

Much as I may sympathize with people who drive drunk, I think it's a stupid risk and they're not just putting their own lives in jeopardy but everyone else's and I there should be serious and consistently applied consequences (though I believe it's more important to engender a culture where driving drunk is just something people just wouldn't want to do).

IMO - even those penalties are inadequate and enforcement here is a joke.

I was a designated driver this past cinco de mayo and I took the freeway - I am not exaggerating to say that only about 1 in 15-20 drivers on the road were not visibly impaired (driving ~45 in a 65 zone, swerving between lanes, delayed reaction time, etc).

That's an extreme example but every friday and saturday night there's a toned-down version on the freeways around town (to the extent that I'm almost hesitant to go out to dinner or movies those nights).

anobody

  

Dusty TheHick

+

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 at 10:03 AM

Alright, fuck it. I'll go ahead and split hairs.


The VOTING BOX said "Other criminal offense." The dude in the commercial said, simply "criminal offense," so his "criminal offense" may very well have BEEN one of the above. Capisce?

Dusty TheHick

  

anobody

+

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 at 10:07 AM

Ah - I see what you're saying... but still!

anobody

  

plurry

+

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 at 1:07 PM

i know it isn't possible, but adam's "heavyweight designation" was a brilliant idea. they need to offer tests that allow you to go to a facility and display your ability to operate an automobile on a course while over the BAC limit.
he once stated, "i've driven around the world 1,000 times drunk." (and nothing ever happened)
i can relate with this. i never hang out in my lame hometown. i always travel 30-40 miles to the city on the weekends if i want to have a good time. this almost always includes 4 or 5 drinks and has been going on for about 7 years. if i got pulled over coming home and took a breath test, i'd go to jail. am i really impaired? no, not really. not any more than an idiot on their cell phone. could i prove it if given a chance? sure. how do i know i'm ok? i just do.
i've never even had so much as a single close call once coming home from the city. not everyone who's been drinking are actually that drunk. breath tests don't take tolerance into account.

let's use mandee as an example. when she's 21, i don't want her anywhere near a car after a few "fuzzy nipples". a few drinks and she can't even type/spell/make sense.
i have been baked and 6 or 7 drinks into the evening and posted free and easy on this forum for years. take practically any post i made prior to mid april made after 3am. i don't become f'd up mandee or ambien pookie. (although it would be funny if i did.)
not that i'm bragging about this. actually, that's horrible. (i quit smoking pot 8 weeks ago and am drinking less. that i can brag about.)
i'm just sayin'...
give me my god damn heavyweight designation card already.
i've earned it.

plurry

  

JL SuperCollider

+

Wednesday, June 21, 2006 at 1:48 PM

Yeah, that criminal offense is called 'cocaine'. That guy's clearly Dwight Gooden.

JL SuperCollider

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