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jjgold |
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 4:57 PM Because I just got that bitch fired. I was in there the other night and I gave her my coat to check because it is brand new ultra suede and I didn't want it to pick up any odors from the seafood. Ultra Suede is a magnet for smells and you can't be too careful. Anyway, I was riding high from a big score on PHX Suns game 7 and I slipped her a Hundred for taking care of my coat. After an excellent meal I went to get my jacket. I put it on, reached in the pocket, and realized something was missing. My nail clippers were gone! I had neglected to take them out and now they were missing! These aren't ordinary nail clippers......they are name brand and real high end. Somebody obviously was admiring them and took the opportunity to get their sticky fingers on my property. I launched into a venom fueled tirade and this Bree girl started to cry. It was then I knew she was guilty. I asked her to return the clippers but she refused and denied involvement. It was then I made the proclamation that she must be fired or I would not return to G5. Well, the people there know where their bread is buttered and they also don't want a thief on their payroll. Needless to say Bree is out of work. After hours of searching I finally found a replacement for the clippers and they are now being air mailed from Croatia. —jjgold |
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AsianOrJew |
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 8:46 PM I have never thought jjgold is just a goof from a forum regular more than I do now. —AsianOrJew |
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greymatters |
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 9:19 PM This is like when that original voice of Kermit the Frog died and they replaced him with the new guy and it totally doesn't sound right and it's totally lame. jjgold 2.0, go fuck yourself. —greymatters |
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ItHadToBeJew |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 1:11 AM
Edited Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 1:12 AM What kind of male carries nail clippers with them? I can understand women, since they carry a purse, which contains everything from Amex cards to Zagnut bars, but a man? Sounds like something Buffalo Bill would do. "It puts the coat in the check, it does this whenever it's told." —ItHadToBeJew |
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catloaf |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 1:13 AM What kind of male carries nail clippers with them? Maybe he was about to hijack a plane? —catloaf |
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Chasing the Dragon |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 3:30 AM Oh jj, did you really get the young lady fired because of your own oversight?
I'm fairly certain it was the gerbil you had in that same pocket earlier that is to blame.
The poor creature simply swallowed your clippers before your boyfriend shoved him in your ass. You have money. I'm sure you know where the gerbil is. Have an autopsy performed. You'll see. Apologize to that young lady once you get this all cleared up, mmmk?
—Chasing the Dragon |
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dply |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 8:00 AM I love how he always says he won big money off a game AFTER the game has happened. Everytime he has told us he knew who was going to win he has gotten it wrong. —dply |
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AsianOrJew |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 9:40 AM That's because he's telling us the wrong team so that we all go out and bet and then improve his odds. Or something, I'm not a betting guy. —AsianOrJew |
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bguirk |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 10:38 AM Why must people continue to doubt jj? For what it's worth that coat check girl should've had to go to Croatia and pick up those clippers for you jj. The Suns are alwyas a good bet--they destroy point spreads when they win and have the ability to do it against anyone. Did anyone catch Tosh talking about how Kobe is a rapist? —bguirk |
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Lefty |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 10:43 AM Is anobody dead?? He hasn't posted a single message in like 5 hours! Actually, he hasn't posted since tuesday, May 9, 2006 at 11:29 AM Did jj finish him off? —Lefty |
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ZT-In-Heat |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 11:27 AM Why must people continue to doubt jj? For what it's worth that coat check girl should've had to go to Croatia and pick up those clippers for you jj. —bguirk I'm not sure how much I believe is story, and I'm confused about how jjgold knows anobody and who "Bree" and what "G5" is. All of that aside, there's no reason why a girl would want to steal someone's nail clippers -- I don't care how nice there are. I've never walked in a pawn shop and seen nail clippers under a glass case, and I'm willing to bet I never will. —ZT-In-Heat |
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dply |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 2:33 PM Thats is because you have never gone to the high class pawn shops where people pawn high quality imported provolone. The nail clippers are in isle four. —dply |
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adams_babymomma |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 2:40 PM I once went to an interior design showcase in S.F and some of the designers were multimillionares. Does that count? —adams_babymomma |
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AbsolutCarib |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 2:42 PM JJGold you are a fucking idiot. yea yea I know hes funny and we all love him but this guy is a douchebag.
JJ has made up a story, which i dont believe for a second, in where he gets someone fired from the job where this person earns the very precious money that jjgolds entire soul is all about.
YOU are a walking dollar bill. AND you want to interfere with another persons money?? Over clippers? YOU ARE FUCKED.
In the meantime, I'll be waiting for your helicopters and swat teams to burst in my door any minute now you pathetic online personality. Everybody hates you, even hookers. —AbsolutCarib |
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Lefty |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 4:29 PM no seriously, I think anobody is dead —Lefty |
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Lefty |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 5:06 PM well, probably not, but he hasnt posted in a while, usually he posts like 30 messages every hour. yeah, scott is anobody. —Lefty |
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anobody |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 6:53 PM I don't think it was Bree, JJ.... mighta been Gouda, though (sorry to disappoint you Hash JJ). Not dead Lefty - just busy (you'd be amazed how much of a timesink posting 30 messages an hour is; don't worry, I'll be back with a vengeance next week). yeah, scott is a no body.
Just had to modify that for my amusement :-) well maybe he's on a hot date with a supermodel??!!!
Ya never know (I could be the David Spade of posters). —anobody |
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catloaf |
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Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 9:33 PM I could be the David Spade of posters With MUCH better hair. —catloaf |
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ItHadToBeJew |
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Friday, May 12, 2006 at 1:44 AM I guess that makes me the Chris Farley of posters, and greymatters the Jon Lovitz. Fuck! —ItHadToBeJew |
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bguirk |
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Friday, May 12, 2006 at 9:24 AM Chris Farley of posters, That means you will die soon. I call Phil Hartman due to my solid posting and longevity. I'm the glue that holds this place together. It also means my wife will kill me in a coke-induced rage, but you win some you lose some. —bguirk |
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Beat It! |
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Friday, May 12, 2006 at 9:44 AM
Edited Friday, May 12, 2006 at 9:45 AM ^ Let's see. Are you categorically unfunny? Do you then laugh at your own feeble "jokes?" Do you get breaks in life despite your lack of talent because you either have friends with connections or simply fill a need for an overweight minority? Are you generally disliked? If you answer 'yes' to all of these then you can be Horatio Sans. Yeah, Phil Hartman would be my second choice. Especially due to his involvement in the greatest sitcom of the 90's (by the way, Season 4 DVD gets released June 20th - WOO HOO!) That fucking bitch of a wife. —Beat It! |
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bguirk |
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Friday, May 12, 2006 at 9:45 AM Ooh, ooh! Can I be Horatio Sans? —Small-Dorked Fish You can be Horatio Sans if I get to hit Tina Fey (she has to leave the glasses on). One has nothing to do with the other, I just want to have sex with Tina Fey. —bguirk |
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Beat It! |
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Friday, May 12, 2006 at 9:47 AM "Jane, you ignorant slut." Classic. —Beat It! |
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catloaf |
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Friday, May 12, 2006 at 9:48 AM I was wondering how long it would take. You are a god among men Beat It!. —catloaf |
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Beat It! |
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Friday, May 12, 2006 at 9:55 AM Aww, thanks. That means a lot coming from a goddess among mere felines. —Beat It! |
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