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adams_babymomma |
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Thursday, August 4, 2005 at 3:36 PM Flashy homes, clothes and jewels are how pimps flaunt their success and lure more prostitutes to their stable. "Being named pimp of the year is based on how well you are known and respected, how wise you are to picking up the tricks of the trade," Don adds. "It's like the Academy Awards: If you win, you get more girls, your light be able to shine." To punctuate his words, Don waves cigar-fat fingers weighted by diamond knuckle-dusters that spell "Magic" and "Juan." In order not to bruise a pimp's peach of an ego, there are many categories: If you're not "No. 1 International Pimp of the Year," you might walk away with a trophy for being a "No. 1 Super Player" or the "No. 1 Boss Player." At the November 2000 ball, a millennial mack will be chosen. It may be someone like Scorpio, who was pimp of the year in 1998. It's incomprehensible that this doe-eyed, candy-voiced man is a pimp; he looks like he should be liberating dolphins trapped by tuna nets. How can he be pimp of the year, next to a shark like Good Game, who looks like he was conceived in a Caddie and teethed with gold-capped incisors. Scorpio may not be the sharpest-dressed pimp -- his orange and gold paisley lamé suit looks like it was stitched from Howard Johnson drapes -- but he's a harbinger of the new millennium, a politically correct pimp who eschews whips and hangers, yet manages to keep his women in pocket. "Ain't nothin' I like better than a happy hooker," Scorpio purrs to his stable of six girls. "Long as you're happy, I'm happy." Pimps eyeball at the ball, passing out business cards like candy. The first rule of the pimp game is: Don't let your woman look at another pimp. "Because if she look at another pimp and she like him, your money stopped," explains Pimpin' Ken, a 34-year-old college-educated mack from Milwaukee who majored in business and sociology. Ken also likes to brag about having a Ph.D. in Pimpin' Ho's. Pimpin' Ken claims that history justifies his job; prostitution is the oldest profession in the world, he says. But a historical precedent of slavery, as these African-American pimps should acknowledge, does not make slavery acceptable. When they talk about their girls, they believe in free will, saying, "She chose me; no one's forcing her to do this." But when it comes to their own careers, pimps believe in fate. Their disenfranchised youth is to blame; they had no choice but pimping or dealing drugs. Scorpio is considered a "gentleman pimp" for his hands-off approach. Then there are mother pimps, who coddle the girls, and dope fiend pimps, who inoculate theirs. A whore's job is to break a pimp down, Ken says, and a nagging prostitute makes a pimp beat her. "But you can only beat a person for so long," he adds. "I tried, but it wasn't easy to jump on someone and then sleep next to her. When I look at most women, I have to consider my mother and the love that I have for her; if it weren't for that, I'd probably be just as cold and callous as other pimps." Now Ken is into space-age pimping, where the philosophy is that a woman stays because of choice, not force. He has to control a woman's mind without physical abuse by selling her a dream. "Besides," he adds, "if you beat a woman and destroy her face, how can she get your money?" A "godfather" is the mentor who befriends a greener pimp, and Don learned from a craggy man nicknamed God. "I don't think a pimp should be a role model," God confides over the craps table. "But they are on Chicago's West Side." —adams_babymomma |
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chix0r |
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Friday, August 5, 2005 at 12:41 PM I love using the copy machine at work. I got to make over 300 copies today. —chix0r |
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oh-for |
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Friday, August 5, 2005 at 12:48 PM You work, chix? I figured you were busy doing quantum physics or something like that all day. —oh-for |
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chix0r |
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Friday, August 5, 2005 at 12:50 PM Well, technically I volunteer, but I have to get up at 7 to be there and I don't get home until 4:30, so I call it work. —chix0r |
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adams_babymomma |
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Friday, August 5, 2005 at 1:48 PM u guys are all postwhores this thread is supposed to be about pimps, and how to become one! and what ur thoughts are and who ur fav pimp is!!! —adams_babymomma |
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chix0r |
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Friday, August 5, 2005 at 1:49 PM Is there a fancy internet name for a probably-bogus person who starts random threads? —chix0r |
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bguirk |
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Friday, August 5, 2005 at 1:55 PM That's a softball over the center of the plate for someone who cares to take a swing. I'm taking the high road. —bguirk |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Friday, August 5, 2005 at 5:49 PM Is there a fancy internet name for a probably-bogus person who starts random threads?
—chix0r
That's a softball over the center of the plate for someone who cares to take a swing. I'm taking the high road.
—bguirk
(I've taken ENOUGH high roads in my day.)
THEOGOLD!!!
...going...GOING...GONE!!!
—Dusty TheHick |
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Dubious Merit |
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Friday, August 5, 2005 at 8:45 PM Did anyone else play Pimpwars as a door game on a BBS? I kept trying to save enough up to have a brothel, but when I did another player firebombed it. Bastards. —Dubious Merit |
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chix0r |
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Saturday, August 6, 2005 at 1:50 PM That would be Bulletin Board System..still going real person here, Hash? —chix0r |
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catloaf |
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Saturday, August 6, 2005 at 8:52 PM
Edited Saturday, August 6, 2005 at 8:53 PM I thought for a while that it might be AdamCLover and that she'd lost the "caps lock" button on her keyboard. —catloaf |
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Hashmeer Shashmeer |
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Sunday, August 7, 2005 at 12:03 PM
Edited Sunday, August 7, 2005 at 12:04 PM Um, unfortunately, I'm still going real. It's more believable that she is real than that it is some elaborate hoax. I think I'm going to have to start agreeing with Adam about women being dumb. —Hashmeer Shashmeer |
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chix0r |
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Sunday, August 7, 2005 at 12:32 PM Good thing we have Stryker to stand up for the idiotic men of the world. —chix0r |
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Dark Laith |
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Monday, August 8, 2005 at 10:32 AM I prefer to just assume everyone is dumb until they individually prove otherwise. —Dark Laith |
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Beat It! |
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Monday, August 8, 2005 at 12:31 PM
Edited Monday, August 8, 2005 at 12:33 PM adams babymomma, kudos to you for taking my advice and creating your own little thread where ignorance and stupidity can reign supreme, intelligence and logic need not rear its head, and grammar and spelling matter not. And most of all where you two, with your made-up personas, can interact. The problem is you missed the point of "QUARANTINE." That's really my fault for not defining it. Basically it means that you ONLY post in that thread and nowhere else. You must be kept away from all others so as not to infect us. —Beat It! |
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pookie |
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Monday, August 8, 2005 at 5:34 PM Aw, you're so cute, Beat. Allow me to ask you a personal question: Is "Beat It!" a command or a hobby? —pookie |
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Beat It! |
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Monday, August 8, 2005 at 6:52 PM Aww, thanks sunshine. Oh, I partake for sure but in the case of the screen name, it's just a reference to Adam's wonderfully succinct way of dealing with irritating people. —Beat It! |
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Beat It! |
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Monday, August 8, 2005 at 8:28 PM
Edited Monday, August 8, 2005 at 8:29 PM Kosher or sea? —Beat It! |
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Faygo |
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Monday, August 8, 2005 at 9:16 PM Power drill the yippee bog with the dude piston
—Faygo |
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