Sunday, April 3, 2005 at 6:39 AM jar_con..........my husband's former wife was not an enabler either. Her kids are self reliant but choose only to contact her on holidays as a duty because she distanced them with her severe rules about not leaning on her. They weren't my husband's kids so he didn't have a lot to say about it. I probably lean more toward the enabling type. I would say leaning hard, but loved them so much I found it hard to say no to much. I suppose all their problems are my fault. My own parents were one of each. Mom wanted us to be forced to save and work hard etc...and Dad was undisciplined himself and couldn't dish out much. How much is environment and how much is genetic though? I have read about twins raised separately with almost exactly the same occupations, habits etc. —hardpathtowalk | 
