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HazeTrooper |
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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 9:02 PM I love a good quote. I got this idea when Colin sent me an email that ended in a nearly prefect quote by Adam Savage (I'll let Colin have the honor of posting it)... Three of my all times favs: 1) "In the insane society, the sane man must appear insane" - Star Trek 2) "I'd rather be rich than stupid" - Mad Magazine 3) "V.D. is nothing to clap about" - Unknown —HazeTrooper |
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hindudot1788 |
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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 9:07 PM "If the minimum wasn't acceptable, it wouldn't be called the minimum." —hindudot1788 |
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Lou Cypher |
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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 9:10 PM My personal ruling mantra, though I may have altered it a bot" "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I've been through some shit. —Lou Cypher |
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gouranga3221 |
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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 9:18 PM Hunter S Thompson :
"No sympathy for the devil. Buy the ticket take the ride."
—gouranga3221 |
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Colin |
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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 9:28 PM "I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage —Colin |
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nvgoddess |
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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 9:31 PM OK, OK, so I'm a quote junky... "It's all right, letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back."
-Mick Jagger "If you can't be a good example, be a terrible warning." "Yesterday don't matter if it's gone...
Don't ask her why she needs to be so free
She'll tell you it's the only way to be"
-Rolling Stones, "Ruby Tuesday" "Don't take life to serious. You'll never escape it alive anyway."
-Elbert Hubbard "You have to be prepared for the possibility that God doesn't like you."
-Tyler Durden, "Fight Club" "God is cruel like snow is cold."
-Stephen King "They sicken of the calm who know the storm."
-Dorothy Parker And my personal favorite:
"Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven" —nvgoddess |
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Logo Lou |
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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 9:32 PM Bill Murray: "They say you can catch more flies with honey than vineger. I say who wants flies?" Buckaroo Banzai: "Wherever you go, there you are." Philip K Dick: "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." Harlan Ellison: "Love ain't nothing but sex misspelled." & "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity." —Logo Lou |
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Colin |
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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 9:45 PM The rest: "Don't let the pickles touch the bread or I will eat your brains like mutton." - Genghis Khan "I couldn't get lucky in a monkey whorehouse with a bag full of bananas." - Dennis Finch The appendix - "I don't trust an organ that I'm not quite sure what it does, yet can burst without warning and kill me." "My spiders wear Birkenstocks and play acoustic guitar." - Adam Carolla "It's been a long day and only Kraft dinner can calm my nerves." - Terrance "Tell me, how do you feel about 45 year old virgins who still live with their parents?" - Comic Book Guy "Thousands of battered women in this country and I eat mine plain..." - unknown "Here's a new idea for you. I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass!" - Stifler "Dogs are colorblind and they can't play Twister." - Dot "Me and god and jesus are gonna go to the movies instead." - Dot "Good times." - Adam Carolla "If I act like a parrot, can I sit on your shoulder?" - Dot "No one can resist my Schweaty balls." - Pete Schweaty "If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." - Peter Dragon "Hogan's Heroes was Gilligan's Island meets The Holocaust." - Hal Sparks "You mess with the skunk, you get the stink." - Rita Delvecchio "I got yo back, pardna." - Bunifa Latifa Sharifa Harifa Jackson
"Young people should be less picky about who they screw, because it all feels the same in the dark." - Kenny Rogers
"You kids change partners more than square dancers." - Kitty Forman "I've got an idea for a car that runs on bald eagle heads and Faberge eggs." - Jimmy Fallon "I'm so hungry I could the ass end out of a rhino." - FBI Agent Angelo Pappas "I once filled a hot tub with Chef Boyardee and had an orgy in it." - Chubb Hotty "When women are smart, they use their brains for evil." - Adam Carolla "About thirty minutes ago, I thought I saw Sigourney Weaver. But it turns out it was a dead horse." - Butters "I'll be on the veranda, since you're already on the cross." - Brian Griffin —Colin |
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HazeTrooper |
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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 9:51 PM "Ahh the Luftwaffe, the Washington Generals of the History Channel" - Homer Simpson —HazeTrooper |
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gouranga3221 |
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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 9:52 PM "These people are different from the others, Jack - they went to Yale, they play bridge, they fuck each other." - CIA gossip, Havana "I recognize when power moves." - Richard J. Daley, Mayor of Chicago, 1968 —gouranga3221 |
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TortillaFactory |
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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 10:03 PM "Hey, did you hear the one about us?"
-A priest and rabbi walking into a bar in The Family Guy —TortillaFactory |
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shiner like a diamond |
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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 at 11:56 PM When you concentrate hard enough, everyone looks retarded.
-David Sedaris When you work from your home
and johns call on the phone
you're a call girl.
When you walk til you limp
and give a cut to a pimp
you're a street whore.
When they're beggin' you "please"
to get down on your knees
near their groinage
Excusa me,
but you see,
don't you touch
where they pee
without coinage
-Amy Sedaris —shiner like a diamond |
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HazeTrooper |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 12:16 AM Amy Sedaris aka Jerrie Blank. 500 cool points for you! —HazeTrooper |
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Dubious Merit |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 1:51 AM "I like being pissed off, fat, and self-destructive. What the hell else is there to live for?" -- Paul Ess "Education is a wonderful thing, but not if it interferes with listening to your favorite music." -- David Letterman "I'm just barely smart enough to know I'm an idiot and just barely too lazy to care." -- Seanbaby "Children have to know that we all die alone and afraid. I don't think there's any problem with that." - Mike Nelson "I am not a smart man. I am not an honest man. I am not a clean man. I am not a rational man. But I am a very big man." -- Pineapple Pokopo, The Tick "Here's a good rule of thumb: Molested as a child? Get help before you get laid." -- Dan Savage "Anything that's not nailed down is mine. Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down." -- Collis P. Huntington, railroad magnate "science is a linear methodology for gathering information. religion is a way of coping with data, known and unknown. the rest is just personal problems." -- ICEKNIFE —Dubious Merit |
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steve |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 1:57 AM Hey DM -- who's "Seanbaby"? -- Just curious 'cause there's a guy at Suicide Girls who has that screen name. —steve |
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Dubious Merit |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 2:51 AM Seanbaby, baby. Hung like a stallion, he dress like a lady. Probably the same guy; he's from Portland, OR as well. —Dubious Merit |
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Theo |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 3:48 AM pinocchio- crickets make terrible pets
hunter s thompson- when the going gets weird, the wierd turn pro
hunter s thonpson- it never got to fast for me
sign in hooters- this sign is in spanish when your not looking at it
poster on wall from strangers with candy- the only thing you cant do is the impossible
unknown- if you steal your a thief, if you rape your a rapist, do both and your a pirate
me- dont expect a lot from stupid people and they will never disappoint you
me- sometimes its healthy to just fuck everything up —Theo |
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Ganthet |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 5:18 AM "The good news is we've been training for this all of our careers. The bad news is: Oh, shit, we're in charge -- what do we do now?" - Joseph Wilson (US ambassador to Iraq when they invaded Kuwait) "If nothing we do means anything, then the only thing that means anything is what we do." - Joss Whedon "When we are searching for a purpose we are pretty ineffectual, but when we can submit ourselves to a higher purpose we respond with increased energy." - Brian Takle Unaired Family Guy scene: (episode where Peter goes to all-female camp for sensitivity training - Peter is in the bottom bunk and a female roommate is in the top bunk)
Peter: (looks uncomfortable) Um, Julie? Are you awake?
Julie: Yeah, Peter, what is it?
Peter: Um, I don't really know how to ask this 'cause I've never been in this type of situation before... but, while I'm sleeping... you're not going to menstrate on me, are ya? —Ganthet |
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chix0r |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 6:18 AM I'm too lazy to post quotes right now, but I love that Schweaty balls skit. —chix0r |
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j4k3 |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 7:20 AM If she can pee, she's for me! —j4k3 |
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TortillaFactory |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 9:00 AM Hyde: "Kelso. What's most convenient, isn't always what's best. If it were, then this frozen pizza wouldn't taste like monkey butt."
Fez: "Jackie and Hyde, sittin' in a tree. They're in love like two mon-keys!"
Hyde: "That's not even how that goes."
Fez: "Does it annoy you?"
Hyde: "Yeah..."
Fez: "Then that's how it goes!"
- That 70s Show
Adam: "Where's dad?"
Caller: "I don't know."
Adam: "Well, you're not gonna find him in your underpants."
Drew: "Or someone else's."
—TortillaFactory |
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Dark Laith |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 11:03 AM "You never touch the other Elves like that." -- Alleria Windrunner, Warcraft II: Beyond the Dark Portal —Dark Laith |
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steve |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 12:19 PM DM -- Yep, that's the same guy. There was a great quote from last night's show:
*caller explains that she's been molested for 3 years, but doesn't say who molested her*
Adam: "So who was he to you?"
Caller: "He was no one to me!"
Adam: *pauses* "No -- I don't mean, 'Who was he to you?'/'He was the greatest lover I've ever known.', or, 'He was a man of mystery.' -- I mean what relation was he to you?!?" —steve |
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Goddess of Death |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 1:30 PM This is by my friend:
"Thinking is power. Power is dangerous. I'm not allowed to play with dangerous things, so therefore, I don't think."
AND
"Boys are like slinkies: it's fun to watch them fall down stairs."
(LOL) —Goddess of Death |
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chix0r |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 3:54 PM If you meant the latter was "by" your friend, too, she didn't come up with it herself. The better version goes like this: "Some people are like slinkies..not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs." —chix0r |
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Colin |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 4:07 PM "That's all I want to hear. Tell me how big Joe Rogan's dick is." - Adam Carolla —Colin |
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foob2011 |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 4:49 PM "Pride only hurts, it never helps." - from Pulp Fiction —foob2011 |
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steve |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 5:52 PM Hey Colin, do you remember what show that quote was from? —steve |
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GooseAss |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 7:04 PM "pass out or throw up"
-tito ortiz on working out —GooseAss |
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Colin |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 7:22 PM Hey Colin, do you remember what show that quote was from? Sure do. —Colin |
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Colin |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 7:22 PM Oh, you want to know. 2001-06-10 bwahahahahahahaha —Colin |
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Colin |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 7:23 PM Oh. I also have a newly spliced together complete version, for those who were missing the last segment. nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah —Colin |
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steve |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 8:17 PM What the hell?!? That was from an old show? -- I thought it was a relatively recent show and it had something to do with the New Man Show. —steve |
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Colin |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 10:21 PM "There is an endless supply of 19 year old guys with a boner and an El Camino." - Adam Carolla —Colin |
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GDG |
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 at 11:41 PM "Alcohol is the last refuge for a defeated man." - Pete Hammil "Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing." - David Letterman —GDG |
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Folgers |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 6:55 AM "Get busy livin', or get busy dying."-Shawshank Redemption —Folgers |
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Dark Laith |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 9:15 AM "There I sit, broken hearted
Tried to shit, but only farted;
Yesterday, I took a chance:
Tried to fart, but shit my pants." --Graffiti inside a bathroom stall at the University of Washington —Dark Laith |
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chix0r |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 9:18 AM That is the saddest personal mantra I've ever heard. —chix0r |
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nvgoddess |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 2:14 PM Not exactly a mantra, but a funny quote nonetheless. I heard this when I was getting my haircut today: Beautician 1: "So do you have someone who comes to your house and fills the propane tanks for you, or what?" Beautician 2: "Yeah, the propane guys." Thank you, Captain Obvious. —nvgoddess |
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Dark Laith |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 2:20 PM
Edited Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 2:21 PM That is the saddest personal mantra I've ever heard. The thread title is "Favorite Quotes or Personal Mantra's." My only real personal mantra is "Shake your ass" by, well, you all know who. —Dark Laith |
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Adrocka |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 2:31 PM My favorite is "live forever or die trying" from Joseph Heller's Catch-22 (good read for those who are interested)... /*yes, I know it wasn't loveline related —Adrocka |
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chix0r |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 2:55 PM >>The thread title is "Favorite Quotes or Personal Mantra's." Sadly, yes it is. Should be "Mantras." Anyway, I knew that, I just thought it would be interesting to view that particular quote as a personal mantra. —chix0r |
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Juanus |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 3:47 PM
Edited Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 3:50 PM The Aceman says, "Don't Be a Bummer." —Juanus |
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chix0r |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 5:21 PM And you thought Colin's list was long. I actually picked these out of over 600.. Personal mantras:
I got the music the music's got me
The underground sound
It always sets me free - Against All Authority I never cared that much
And I never kept in touch
And most of all what really sucks is
Everything and all of us - Dope When your life is over, and your time has finally come
You'll never have regrets looking out for #1 - Guttermouth And if I fuck me
I'll fuck me in my own way - Incubus I'm not afraid of speaking my mind
I'm just afraid of being ignored - Jack Off Jill Society don't bother me and there's something wrong with that - NOFX But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care..right? - The Offspring Well I'm happy to be
only all that you see - Sum 41 Get down and pray for yourself 'cause I'm just fine - Sum 41 You know that every time I try to go
Where I really want to be
It's already where I am
'cause I'm already there - System of a Down I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. - Trainspotting Favorite Quotes:
Aah, there's nothing more exciting than science. You get all the fun of sitting still, being quiet, writing down numbers, paying attention...yes, science has it all. - The Simpsons Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; everything else is opinion. - Democritus You don't have to be a racist to be a nazi fuck
Your mindless nationalism gives you credentials enough - Anti-Flag When will mankind finally come to realize his surfeit has become his demise? - Bad Religion If your soul needs love, you can always have my pity. - Bad Religion All fantastic images
They only are apparent
Promoted by desperate hope
And the need to share it - Bad Religion I'm not talking to myself, I'm just the only one who's listening. - Jimmie's Chicken Shack My life is just like a car crash
So slow down girls when you go passing me by - Lars Frederiksen & the Bastards The course of human progress staggers like a drunk
Its steps are quick and heavy and its mind is slow and blunt - Operation Ivy You're not that social, just a good drinker - The Von Bondies —chix0r |
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Ernasty |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 5:24 PM jeez, do you like write this stuff down when you think of it or do it from memory —Ernasty |
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steve |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 5:35 PM Here's my new favourite quote -- and it comes from one of our very own forum members: "The semicolon: A classy way to spice up your hate mail. -Manual —steve |
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Manual |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 5:40 PM
Edited Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 5:42 PM As Andy Kaufman- "Thank you very much." —Manual |
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mandeemoo22 |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 8:13 PM I gots me some quotes too. "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." ~Woody Allen "Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes." ~Oscar Wilde "My one regret in life is that I'm not somebody else." - Woody Allen "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music". - George Carlin "Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy." ~Albert Einstein "Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny."~ Jack Handey
—mandeemoo22 |
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and don't call me shirley |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 10:00 PM Pat Robertson to his waiter at The Trellis in Williamsburg VA " Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole". and I also love pete sweaty and his sweaty weiner, everyone love his sweaty footlong. Conan Obrian" YEAH! Tell us about your weener!" —and don't call me shirley |
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TortillaFactory |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 10:36 PM Favorite quote of ALL TIME. The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off. —TortillaFactory |
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jeremycobert |
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Thursday, January 6, 2005 at 11:30 PM "Any 20 year-old who isn't a liberal doesn't have a heart, and any 40 year-old who isn't a conservative doesn't have a brain."
winston churchill —jeremycobert |
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jackie |
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Friday, January 7, 2005 at 3:51 PM mandeem- you know jack handey? i love him, thats awesome —jackie |
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Manual |
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Friday, January 7, 2005 at 7:57 PM
Edited Friday, January 7, 2005 at 7:57 PM Two of some of my favorite Handey quotes: "When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car." -JH and "Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants." - JH —Manual |
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nvgoddess |
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Friday, January 7, 2005 at 8:09 PM I like this one: "I think it's a good idea to always carry around a couple of sacks. That way, if somebody asks you to do something for them, you can say 'Sorry, got these sacks.'" Or something to that effect, it might not be verbatim. —nvgoddess |
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jackie |
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Friday, January 7, 2005 at 8:38 PM Some song lyrics I like right now So one last touch and then I'll go
And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more
But it was vile and it was cheap
And you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me
-Death Cab for Cutie When everything feels like the movies,
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
'cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's meant to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am
- Goo Goo Dolls For the life of me I can not remember,
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me i can not believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
- The Verve Pipe Take away the sensation inside
A bittersweet migraine in my head
It's like a throbbing toothache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore
Drain the pressure from the swelling
The sensation's overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight and everything will be alright
Tell me I won't feel a thing, so give me novocaine
-Green Day I'm not alone 'cause the TV's on, yeah.
I'm not crazy 'cause I take the right pills everyday.
- Jimmy Eat World (Adam's song) Sleep with all the lights on.
You're not so happy. You're not secure.
And you're dying to look cute in your blue jeans but you're plastic just like everyone.
And that face you paint is pressed, impressing most of us as permanent.
And I'd like to see you undone....
Making up a history,
It's nothing from the life you lead
But MAN, will they buy all your lines. Sleep with all the sheets off baring your mattress,
baring your soul.
And you're dying to look smooth with your tattoos,
but you're searching just like everyone-
Could be anyone.
And those friends you have are the best,
Impressing most of us as permanent
And I'd like to see you undone....
-Dashboard Confessional
—jackie |
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foob2011 |
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Friday, January 7, 2005 at 8:42 PM The truth about the world is that crime does pay
-The Offspring —foob2011 |
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jackie |
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Friday, January 7, 2005 at 8:44 PM Oh I like these ones by Jack Handey too: I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on. If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the inpression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control. —jackie |
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Folgers |
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Saturday, January 8, 2005 at 8:09 AM The best Deep Thought by Jack Handey: If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
—Folgers |
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Dark Laith |
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Saturday, January 8, 2005 at 12:02 PM
Edited Saturday, January 8, 2005 at 12:02 PM "You know, if it lives, make it die." -- clodhopper This is totally my new personal mantra. —Dark Laith |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Monday, January 10, 2005 at 11:08 PM I could claim every lyric Joe Jackson ever wrote to be a favorite of mine, but here's one just off the top of my head: "...This should come as no surprise when you live in a town where there's always somebody stranger than you." —Dusty TheHick |
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