|
|
 |
Farty Face |
+ |
Tuesday, May 4, 2004 at 10:30 PM Yeah I drink like 4-5 days a week, at about 2 40's of mickys per day, maybe 3 to 4 on weekends. (adamn is retarded, they dont sell micky big mouths anymore). I never thought that was really "bad", but after listening to this show im sure im an alcoholic. From what drew says I may actually attempt an AA meeting. Not now, but eventually. Like when i have some real responsibilities like a kid or wife or soemthing. —Farty Face |
|
|
|
|
steve |
+ |
Tuesday, May 4, 2004 at 11:32 PM Actually, they do still sell Mickey's Big Mouths -- they probably just don't carry them in your particular region. As far as drinking goes, the show didn't convince me that I was an alcoholic because I already knew that I was. I drank at least a twelve pack 7 nights a week from the age of 20 to 30 -- and usually it was more than that -- a twelve pack and a 40 -- a twelve pack and a bottle of wine -- a twelve pack and another six pack -- it's pretty funny -- I did the math a little while back -- there are 3,650 days in the period of a decade. During those 3,650 days, I was sober for about 30 - 40 days -- and I should point out that at that particular time, any time I held myself to 6 or 7 beers, I counted that as "being sober". I began having liver trouble back in March of 2001, which really caught me by surprise -- I figured I'd make it well into my 40's or 50's before anything like that happened. I finally managed to quit drinking for good in February of 2003. It was about 9:30 in the morning -- I had been up all night drinking -- I was on my 16th or 17th beer, sitting at my computer, looking out my window at all the people who were "living normal lives". I stumbled onto this site, of all places, looking for clips of Loveline when I found this one particular clip in the "Profound" section -- it was an old clip with Stephen Jenkins from Third Eye Blind. I think it's labeled "change" or something to that affect. In the clip, Adam goes on to say how there's really nothing worse than being 39 years old, and being the exact same jack-off you were at 19. "I mean, change is the one thing we have that separates us from all the other animals - We, as human beings, have the ability to assess ourselves, acknowledge our weaknesses, and actually do something about it." I don't know why, but that clip really hit home with me. (Ironically, it's probably 'cause I was drunk and feeling overly-emotional.) I sat there and listened to it over and over again like an automoton, getting more and more inspired each time I heard it -- although, in all honesty, I should point out that I continued to drink about four more beers 'cause I had to finish everything that I had in the house -- besides, "tomorrow" was my "change day", not "today". Anyway, I'm not really sure what happened, but something inside me really did change -- Drew always talks about that one particular moment where addicts have their enlightenment, and that was mine -- it wasn't a fear of death that inspired me, because I already knew that I was dying and didn't really care. There was just something weird that happened that morning, and when I woke up the next day, I was a different person. As of Sunday (May 3rd), I've been sober for exactly a year and three months. I still think about drinking every single day. My liver still hurts just as much as it did back then. But for whatever reason, I seem to understand now, that drinking simply is not an option for me anymore. I've been hanging around this site ever since. —steve |
|
|
|
|
stass |
+ |
Wednesday, May 5, 2004 at 2:52 AM This is an awesome post! Congratulations to both of you! As the doctor himself would say" Are you in recovery?" —stass |
|
|
|
|
mX |
+ |
Wednesday, May 5, 2004 at 9:37 AM fantastic story steve, you should call the show with that, and yeah listening to LL has pretty much convinced me I am an addict too but I still haven't been able to find a family history of addiction which drew says is a necessary factor, although there are a few mystery deaths a few years ago. But yeah I used to smoke weed every day, then I went to booze every day, then I went to somas xanax ativan ambien valium etc, then I heard drew say that withdrawl from benzos can kill you so I managed to stop and for now I'm fairly sober, we shall see how it goes but sleep without drugs is pretty rough for me right now —mX |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
steve |
+ |
Wednesday, May 5, 2004 at 5:27 PM Wow, thanks everybody. Y'know mX -- I learned that you really have to go 'all or nothing'. My 30 - 40 days of sobriety were me trying to 'bargain with myself' -- I was employing this horribly skewed bullshit logic of "I'll just be the type of guy who only drinks a 6 pack everyday -- I'll only drink 'for real' on the weekends." But what would happen is, I'd buy a 12 pack and say, "O.K., this is gonna last me two days." At about 1AM, I'd finish the 12 pack and run up to the gas station to buy another 12 pack, saying, "O.K., I'll drink 6 beers out of this, and the remaining 6 will be for tomorrow." But when 'tomorrow' actually rolled around, I'd go out and buy another 6 pack + a 40, to go with my remaining 6 beers from the night before. Oh, it never worked. It was just an endless fucking cycle. That was why I just had to stop altogether. But I won't kid you -- It's not like when you sober up, life instantaneously becomes a bowl of cherries. I always think of sobriety when I hear Adam talk about therapy -- "Everybody needs therapy -- I mean, look at me! -- I've had years of therapy and now I feel marginally better than I felt before therapy." That's probably the best way to put it -- I've got over a year of sobriety, and now I feel... marginally better than I felt before. But it's definitely worth it. —steve |
|
|
|
|
stass |
+ |
Thursday, May 6, 2004 at 2:46 AM Drew would love this thread. :) —stass |
|
|
|
|
Thomas/Frope |
+ |
Thursday, May 6, 2004 at 9:32 AM Well I mean, I've recently taken to the marijuana. Good times. Don't think I'm an addict tho. —Thomas/Frope |
|
|
|
|
Dark Laith |
+ |
Thursday, May 6, 2004 at 1:58 PM I'm not an addict, since I don't have the genetic disposition, and I don't do any drugs anyway. However, Drew has convinced me that I'm psychotic. —Dark Laith |
|
|
|
|
nvgoddess |
+ |
Thursday, May 6, 2004 at 4:24 PM Yes, the show has convinced me that I'm both. I smoke weed twice a day and drink 4-5 times a week. The problem is, I can't seem to make myself do anything about it. I guess realization is the first step though, right? —nvgoddess |
|
|
|
|
nathanvsgermany |
+ |
Friday, May 7, 2004 at 4:27 AM Not only is the grass so cheap over here (6 bucks a gram!) but it is extremely strong! (my stuff comes from Holland). But a while ago I had a moment of clarity and quit. It's been 150 days, but I still consider myself an addict because I'm not attending meetings and I use other substances (alcohol) to get by. Blah. —nathanvsgermany |
|
|
|
|
Adam's Crows |
+ |
Friday, May 7, 2004 at 5:03 AM This show has convinced me I'm not an alcoholic or addict but I understand I am not free of the effects from the hard drugs I used several times. I am not free of the effects of having alcoholics around me- parents, sister -I did not get the gene though. I am not free of the effects from emotionally abusive, and if bare hand, coat hanger and ruler whippings count according to Drew, physically abusive parents and older siblings. My mom deliberately tried to catch me masterbating maybe thinking it would get me to stop but she had to get some degree of pleasure humiliating me for punishment. :-( If being anywhere between old Adam and literally a millionare is a loser, I am not free of that either. Probably the resulting monkey on my back is no self-esteem. Any hope or optimism is like trying to jump out of a dry swimming pool with the cover over the top. But good times eh? :-) —Adam's Crows |
|
|
|
|
paul1732 |
+ |
Friday, May 7, 2004 at 4:25 PM Wow... way to open up everybody. Ya know, when I was about 16, I had to watch my 20-year-old brother lie in a parking lot of a hospital throwing up, drunk off of his ass. We had to take him there because my mom was convinced that he had alchohol poisoning. I've had two Schmirnoff's in my entire life, and that is the extent of the substances I've used. I think that something about that scene has turned me off from addictive substances for good. That, and after listening to this show so much I am just too damn scared to. I have my share of emotional problems though... childhood abuse and neglect. I guess we all have issues..... —paul1732 |
|
|
|
|
Cracked |
+ |
Friday, May 7, 2004 at 5:27 PM
Edited Friday, May 7, 2004 at 5:29 PM I was way too shy and nervous when I wanted to be with a girl I was in love with so I did some drugs I never would have touched. I did them on the weekends with her during a 2 month period. I woke up one day and the whole world had changed. My ability to sense the warmth and feel positive was gone. I felt empty. I had always had an upbeat tune in my head but that had become a flat key and a drone. I felt so bad that when things eventually improved I was ecstatic. The highs on pure life have not matched what was normal before thae drugs. Jack Osbourne quoted something this past week that summed up a feeling. I don't remember it very well, maybe someone else does or the clip can be posted. It referred to nothing feeling so good as just feeling normal again. —Cracked |
|
|
|
|
Adam's Crows |
+ |
Friday, May 7, 2004 at 6:34 PM That sounds like something Jay Mohr described when he recovered from his panic attack. —Adam's Crows |
|
|
|
|
Farty Face |
+ |
Saturday, May 8, 2004 at 9:10 PM
Edited Saturday, May 8, 2004 at 9:12 PM I think drew and some of us listeners put too much emphasis on the need to have the "addict gene" in order to be an addict. Im not convinced this is true and I think its dangerous to say "none of my relatives are addicts/alcoholics therefore I cant possibly be one". Sure it helps a lot if you do have the gene, but not having it isnt a guarantee against anything. I know for a fact I have the alcohol gene. I can out drink friends of mine that are literally 70+ pounds more then me. I was a 125 pound freshman in highschool and I could drink an entire 12 pack. My parents dont drink much at all, but both my grandparents on my dads side drink several cocktails every day. And on my moms side? I seriously have no clue. I dont even know my grandfathers first name. I know he lives in Florida in a trailer or something. Ive never asked my mom about him but Im pretty sure that some bad bad stuff went on in there home. My mom used to accuse me of using drugs almost every day when I was in high school. "Why are you so enerjetic? YOUR ON METH ARENT YOU!!!! I KNEW IT". At the time I didnt even know what the fuck meth was, and couldn’t get it even if I wanted it. Besides drugs never really appealed to me. Alcohol on the other hand was my main man. When we went to parties my friends would go and look for all the girls that were there, I went straight to the keg. Alcohol was more important then potential sex. My mom sent me to a therapist as soon as I reached jr. high. She was convinced I was depressed/on drugs eventhough neither of wich were true at the time (although a few years later both became true. Power of suggestion maybe?). I went against my will to a therapist once a week for about 7 years. I hated every single second of it. Thousands and thousands of dollars my parents wasted forcing me to goto therapy. I got NOTHING out of it. I never said a word in all 7 years. I just sat in my chair spinning it in circles and looking at the clock while I drank my 7-11 slurpee. When I got caught being drunk? Yep my mom forced me to goto AA meettings. A 16 year old sitting at an AA meeting against his will hating every second of it. TOTTALY ruined my opinion of the program. Today, I kind of want to goto therapy and try it out again, mostly because of this show. Hell, I might even try an AA meeting sometime. I think being there by choice this time might actually help me out. Too bad im too old to use dads insurance.
—Farty Face |
|
|
|
|
atramors |
+ |
Sunday, May 9, 2004 at 6:50 AM >>I think drew and some of us listeners put too much emphasis on the need to have the "addict gene" in order to be an addict. Im not convinced this is true and I think its dangerous to say "none of my relatives are addicts/alcoholics therefore I cant possibly be one". Sure it helps a lot if you do have the gene, but not having it isnt a guarantee against anything.<< I kind of agree with you. Although I assume it's probably right that to be an addict (want to stop but can't) you need the "addict gene", there are a lot of circumstances where someone might look at their immediate family and assume that they're free and clear, when in fact they are not. It just takes one parent who is a teetotaller, I guess. Especially now as people become more aware of addiction as a "family" thing and abstain based on that fact.. Might still have the gene, but as you say--no guarantee that because there's no manifestation in your immediate family that you don't have it. Hopefully they'll isolate the exact gene(s) and be able to test for them in cases where family history is lost (whether from the disease just not manifesting, or whatever else). Growing up, I was only very vaguely aware of the family history link to alcoholism and even though I knew that this was the reason my parents didn't drink at all, it took a long time before I really realized the strength of the connection. Very real stuff. Kinda makes me wonder why in the 9 gajillion 'D.A.R.E' classes they dispensed to me and my classmates, they never once mentioned it. —atramors |
|
|
|
|
roadrage |
+ |
Sunday, May 9, 2004 at 7:57 PM atramors, I don't know how old you are, but unless you took the D.A.R.E. classes in the last year or two, the alcoholic gene probably was not mentioned because it hadn't been discovered yet. —roadrage |
|
|
|
|
Kevin U. |
+ |
Sunday, May 9, 2004 at 8:51 PM I would say it has been obvious for a lot longer than 2 years that there is a genetic factor in addiction and/or alcoholism. As for D.A.R.E., all I remember are the horrible videos, and the idiot cop that came in as the D.A.R.E. instructor. —Kevin U. |
|
|
|
|
atramors |
+ |
Sunday, May 9, 2004 at 9:55 PM roadrage--this is true.. When I was in D.A.R.E (~15 years ago) they didn't have the gene pinpointed at all.. For a long time it's just been something that they've just kind of known must be there, I guess. Of course, I was a kid then, so I can't really speak to how sure they were of the "family" connection at that point. I'd heard of it at that age, but I am not familiar with the evolution of this thinking. I guess in my previous post I was assuming that it was widely accepted even though they didn't even have the gene narrowed down. Obviously, a bad assumption to make. :) I'd be interested to see what they thought now of this.. I know earlier this year there was some talk that they might now have the gene pinpointed for real this time, not just narrowed down. I wonder if it's in D.A.R.E now.. —atramors |
|
|
|
|
commie |
+ |
Sunday, May 9, 2004 at 10:43 PM They still don't have a gene pinpointed, and it's unlikely they ever will. Complex behavioral patterns like sexuality and responsiveness to drugs/alcohol are caused by a complex interaction of environmental and genetic factors. Furthermore, the genetic component almost certainly does NOT consist of a single, isolated gene. What you have are permutations of many different genes acting in concert to create a tendency towards (or against) certain behaviors. And I suspect this holds true even more strongly for addiction than for sexuality. Maybe a few decades from now geneticists might be able to detect a few of the genes involved in this process and make some probabilistic judgment about alcoholic tendencies, but it will be a very sketchy prediction at best; and the absence of these vague markers would not be a guarantee that you were risk-free. Such is the state of our knowledge. —commie |
|
|
|
|
Adam's Crows |
+ |
Monday, May 10, 2004 at 2:22 PM
Edited Monday, May 10, 2004 at 2:25 PM "They still don't have a gene pinpointed......Complex behavioral patterns like sexuality and responsiveness to drugs/alcohol are caused by a complex interaction of environmental and genetic factors...What you have are permutations of many different genes acting in concert to create a tendency towards (or against) certain behaviors...." —commie This would lead one to suspect the existence of a genetic component. This scenario supports a consistent trail of offspring with similar behaviors given similar environmental conditions and genetic histories. What else explains those exceptions that come from these conditions who, unlike their parents and parent's parents, siblings and even their own children, do not develop similar problems? Where did you acquire this information? I will search around and see what is available. —Adam's Crows |
|