Wednesday, August 6, 2003 at 6:53 AM I was bored one day and wound up transcribing this. I'm not sure if it's too long to fit in the character limit for this board . . . and there might be a few mistakes, because I'm not a fluent speaker of ghetto English. ;p Silent Virgin, you can put this in the transcripts part of your website if you want. ---
woman: Hello?
Adam: Hey, is Bo in?
woman: Okay, hold on . . .
Adam: All right . . .
boy: Hello?
Adam: Bo, this is Adam Carolla.
Bo: Hi!
Adam: You know the show Loveline, right?
Bo: Hell, yeah.
Adam: Yeah, good. Are you in a room that's quiet where we could talk a little bit?
Bo: Well, I can go where I jack off . . .
Adam: Yeah, go--
Drew: Go where you jack off!
Adam: Yeah, go where you jack off!
Bo: All right!
Adam: All right. Are you there?
Drew: All right, we're in the barn, that's good.
Adam: Okay. So, Bo, what we're doing here is we're putting together a tape for MTV because we're trying to get the show back on the air--
Bo: Oh, hell, yeah, man!
Adam: And we're gonna have Drew kind of hip it up a little, be a little more urban, okay?
Drew: Doctah Drew in the HIZZY!
Bo: Hell, yeah!
Adam: All right. So, let's just take it like a regular Loveline call, and we'll just start at the beginning. Bo, eighteen, you're on Loveline, what's your problem?
Bo: Well, my problem is I have no sex life.
Drew: But why ain'tcha gettin' no play, playa?
Bo: I don't know.
Drew: So you ain't hittin' the skins.
Bo: Yeah.
Drew: Motherfucker.
Adam: Mm-hmm.
Bo: Yeah.
Drew: You undoubtedly are lookin' to get the throbbin' guzzle. Ya see I'm sayin'?
Bo: Absolutely, yeah.
Drew: And you, in your mind, you'd be lovin' to flippin' bitches twenty-four seven, that'd be what you're into. Instead, you're busy pistol-rubbin', blunt-tuggin', you'd even take a cream cap in the ass if you could to get one of these motherfuckin' bitches down with your ass. You know what I'm sayin'? In the meantime, you're sittin' in the hizzy, by yourself, thinkin' about a little areolapalooza action; in the meantime, yo' dong ain't doin' shit.
And you'd be-- hey, look, we heard when the call picked up, you got all those shorties runnin' around there; that hizzy fo' tizzy is no place for you to be bustin' a nut right now. You gotta get out there and get your bitch spunk-drunk. You feelin' me? You sure, you feelin' me?
Bo: Yeah, I hear you, I hear you.
Drew: If you had a hizzy, you'd be outta the...house! I'm tellin' ya, motherfucker, you would even go for some muff-yo-tang that would put you right over the top. I'm tellin' ya, nigga, that it would put you into the mode where you would have no problem gettin' that freaky shit flowin' twenty-four seven, flowin' semen here in your house. In yo' hizzy, fo' chizzy!
Bo: Go with the flow, don't talk like this; talk the way you want to!
Drew: So I don't have to use all that freakatoric up the ass, areolapalooza, muff-yo-tang, throbbin' guzzle, cap in the ass shit, right?
Bo: Fuck them, be yourself, who gives a shit, say what you want.
Drew: Look, mothafucka, I'm tellin' you, don't be a playa hater, 'cause when you tap her in the ass, you ain't gonna be interested in pistol-rubbin' no more, and the digit is dizzle, and in the hizzy fo' chizzy gonna be great on the q-t fo' real!
Bo: Stay fresh, nigga.
Adam: All right.
Bo: Aight. Bye.
Drew: Peace out.—Lil Napoleon |
