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Jarhole |
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Tuesday, March 4, 2003 at 10:54 PM THE CALL IS ON!! COME ONE - COME ALL!!
MONDAY, MARCH 31, 2003 is National Mason Jar Day! Looking for the best, the brighest and the most cunning callers to participate in this continent-wide event!
On the night of Monday, March 31, 2003, callers are to call into Loveline between 10pm and 12pm pst, and try to get through with their best "Mason Jar" call. At the end of the program that night, the date will be April 1. Let's get the day started off right... and a bit early. So start thinking now: make it believable, make it non serious (no suicide, life threatening illnes, etc) and most of all make it fun! The time to give a wonderful tradition its due has come! MONDAY, MARCH 31, 2003...Keep yours brains sharp, your tounges loose and your love for a good crank call alive. Good luck and see you on the board!!!
—Jarhole |
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Kevin U. |
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Wednesday, March 5, 2003 at 1:37 PM Re: NATIONAL MASON JAR DAY!!Not a bad idea...
if nothing else, we will find out if Anderson actually reads this board, because he will say something on the air about it.
I personally am not the right type of person to make crank calls, so I don't think I can participate... but hopefully we have some board patrons who are.
—Kevin U. |
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Mr. Mason Jar |
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Wednesday, March 5, 2003 at 11:15 PM Re: NATIONAL MASON JAR DAY!!Here are a couple tips when making the ‘mason jar’ call… Take them or leave them. Any dedicated listeners already know all of this: 1. Have an actual question. Ensure there is a viable reason for calling the show. Instead of saying “My boyfriend is gay and I caught him with my brother” try saying “I think my boyfriend is gay and I need to know if I should confront him or wait until I have proof.” 2. Use your real age and name. Adam is quick to fish out a made up phone call so know your facts. His specialties are “What year were you born?/ What’s your age?” and “What do you do for a living?” 3. If you are changing your story to differ what you told the call screeners, don’t tell Adam and Drew. Just run with the new story, get your punch line off and if your lucky, they will continue to talk to you just to find out a little about why you are pranking them. 4. Lastly, if you are caught, do the show the favor of coming clean. Nothing is more annoying than pranksters that never tell the truth once they are caught. —Mr. Mason Jar |
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Joy |
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Thursday, March 6, 2003 at 1:31 PM Re: NATIONAL MASON JAR DAY!!I think this a great idea. Adam & Drew are too smart to fall for it, but it would be fun to see how many Mason Jar calls can get through. It really does help if you have some basis in truth. If you insist on lying about your age, at least figure out when your supposed birthday would be and stick it on a Post-It note by the phone or something so you don't end up like that 27 year-old who was born in 1973. I'd definitely call in (I'm a good actress) but I listen on 1-day delay and unlike Drew & Adam, I really CAN'T stay up from 1-3 a.m. and function the next day. Okay, good times.
—joy |
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Anonymous |
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Saturday, March 8, 2003 at 12:24 PM Re: NATIONAL MASON JAR DAY!!mother fuckker@!
—drt |
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Hashmeer Shashmeer |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 5:25 PM We should try this again. Perhaps it should be sooner though, maybe Feb. 28 or so. There should be no guest though. Who's in? —Hashmeer Shashmeer |
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Dark Laith |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 5:33 PM Wait, what the FUCK?! My birthday was Mason Jar day?! I say we keep it the same! —Dark Laith |
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nvgoddess |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 5:42 PM Laith, you're an Aries too? We seem to have lots of those here... But anyway, I don't get it. Bogus calls get on my nerves, for the most part. There are some funny ones, but a whole show full of them? Wait a minute - on second thought, it could drive Adam and Drew nuts, which could be pretty hilarious... —nvgoddess |
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Dark Laith |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 5:44 PM
Edited Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 5:45 PM We couldn't have them be the normal, retarded ones though. We really have to weird them out. This could be a good time to pull out our irregular smoke detector idea... (Oh, and yup, of course I'm an Aries.) —Dark Laith |
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nvgoddess |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 5:46 PM "This could be a good time to pull out our irregular smoke detector idea..." Sounds genius to me!
—nvgoddess |
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Hashmeer Shashmeer |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 5:55 PM Well-crafted bogus calls are usually funny. Also, you must obey the rules. It may require some tweaking though with the FCC and all. Does anyone have a clip of the guy who called about how he caught his step-daughter having sex in a pool or something? The punchline was "...when she got out of the pool she a had an asshole the size of a mason jar." That was an example of a good bogus call. Also, since Anderson and Brian read this forum, we should set the date on the hub or something. —Hashmeer Shashmeer |
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Dark Laith |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 6:53 PM
Edited Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 6:54 PM No, I think it'd be funnier if we could get them in on it. Think about it, then it's like a third of the studio knows, but Drew and Adam still won't know. —Dark Laith |
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Dark Laith |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 6:59 PM
Edited Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 6:59 PM Thank you! And you're not screwed up or depressed at all! You're just a sweet, normal chick. See, I've learned my lesson. —Dark Laith |
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nvgoddess |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 6:59 PM Yay for lessons learned! I think I'm in love... —nvgoddess |
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Dark Laith |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 8:50 PM Silence, Hickie! *whisks nvgoddess off to a wonderful life she never even dreamed of* —Dark Laith |
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oh-for |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 8:53 PM line up tards! —oh-for |
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nvgoddess |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 8:54 PM
Edited Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 8:54 PM *sigh* Oh, Laith... Oh yeah, and I'd volunteer, but I don't think I'm the person for the job. But I will DEFINITELY be the cheerleader! —nvgoddess |
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oh-for |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 8:55 PM hurry up and rescue/fix her laith! —oh-for |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 8:57 PM
Edited Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 8:58 PM Silence, Hickie! *whisks nvgoddess off to a wonderful life she never even dreamed of* —Dark Laith
Oh, well....
So, Chix0r...How ya been, sweetie? lol
—Dusty TheHick |
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Dark Laith |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 8:59 PM
Edited Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 8:59 PM hurry up and rescue/fix her laith! —oh-for But she's normal and sweet...
No she's not, you fool! You just stopped calling her screwed up so she'd fall for you!
What?! Lies!!
Idiot!
Hey, it's not like WE'RE sane either. We're voices in this guy's head talking with each other.
Will you five SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP! Um, I'll get back to you on that. >_> —Dark Laith |
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oh-for |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 9:00 PM i'm proud of you laith for at least hearing/having a conscience. mine usually shows up after the fact —oh-for |
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nvgoddess |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 9:01 PM /\ I'm screwed, dammit. So, uh, Kelly...how old did you say you were again? —nvgoddess |
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Hashmeer Shashmeer |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 9:01 PM Nvgoddess would be the perfect canidate for this if she had one of those voice modifers to make the voice deep at the punchline. Baby voice: "but the thing about it was..." Herman Munster voice: "...he had an asshole the size of a mason jar. Muh huh huh huh" —Hashmeer Shashmeer |
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oh-for |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 9:02 PM very good, but she'd have to start out with the "More jello, please!" voice —oh-for |
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oh-for |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 9:22 PM yeah, i listened to the call, you're right. I'm surprised that anderson didn't play that drop —oh-for |
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nvgoddess |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 9:24 PM Dammit, this is ridiculous. There is no reason that my call should come up in all these freaking posts! —nvgoddess |
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oh-for |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 9:26 PM don't sweat it, nv. it's no big deal. you're a celeb. thanks for spending some time with the simple folk —oh-for |
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TortillaFactory |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 9:38 PM lol Jess, you shouldn't have admitted it was you. These jabs will continue until Adam's childhood friends stop calling him "Brillohead". * * Hint: Never. —TortillaFactory |
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nvgoddess |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 9:39 PM /\ Liz, hindsight is 20/20, I guess. :) Ah well - bygones. —nvgoddess |
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oh-for |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 9:41 PM Jess, move on. don't let it get to you. we are all the same. noone can judge. be the best you that you can be —oh-for |
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Dark Laith |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 10:29 PM Better yet, joke along with us. Before you know it you'll think it's funny too. Except deep inside it will secretly enrage you, slowly building up, until one day, BOOM! You blow off my head with a shotgun. Err, I mean Dusty's head with a shotgun. —Dark Laith |
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steve |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 11:29 PM Yeah, Laith was trying to impress the president... or Jodie Foster... Wait -- what are we talking about? —steve |
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nvgoddess |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 11:30 PM I'm pretty sure Laith wanted to shoot Jody Foster to impress George W....and then come? Wait, Steve, I'm confused too. —nvgoddess |
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Colin |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 11:36 PM Allah akhbar!!!!
—Colin |
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nvgoddess |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 11:40 PM Ooh, a mason jar call got through! Yay!! Not totally authentic, but hey - whatever works. —nvgoddess |
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boring_bit |
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Sunday, January 30, 2005 at 11:40 PM Mason Jar call just aired. I was waiting for Adam to say "see you in hell" afterwards, but he didn't. —boring_bit |
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masonjar_condition |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 12:17 AM
Edited Monday, January 31, 2005 at 12:17 AM You all put too much effort into it... just pick up the phone and dial.... and yes, my g/f's asshole did indeed turn out to be the size of a masonjar.. before I even got to it! the slut! —masonjar_condition |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 12:45 AM Huh? What? Did somebody say something about giving Dusty head? —TortillaFactory *becomes suddenly alert* Jess, I don't mean anything jabbish, but your voice DOES sound like the one to which the "jello" remark referred (close enough, anyway). —Dusty TheHick |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 12:47 AM
Edited Monday, January 31, 2005 at 12:47 AM Well hell, maybe I would be the perfect person for the job... it's a perfect plan...*laughs diabolically* —nvgoddess |
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greymatters |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 12:49 AM Jess, I don't mean anything jabbish, but your voice DOES sound like the one to which the "jello" remark referred (close enough, anyway). Let's not forget she sounds Mexican. We all know what that means... —greymatters |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 12:52 AM Mexican? Well, my godfather is Mexican...but not me. —nvgoddess |
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greymatters |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 12:56 AM Mexican? Well, my godfather is Mexican...but not me. Oh, so is it a yay or nay on cornholing then? This is very important, because you yourself have testified to being a cold fish. —greymatters |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 12:57 AM A "cold fish?" You must get all the girls... —nvgoddess |
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greymatters |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:01 AM A "cold fish?" You must get all the girls... You slay me with your wit. Grey, you romantic fool, you. Dusty, watch and learn. I will post the pics when I'm getting brain from her in Carson City. —greymatters |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:02 AM WTF?? "Getting brain"?! Are you retarded? —nvgoddess |
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greymatters |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:03 AM WTF?? "Getting brain"?! Are you retarded? Is that a rhetorical question or are you seriously asking me that? —greymatters |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:05 AM I'm just saying...that is the STRANGEST way I've ever anyone talk about anything sexual. And yes, I'm actually asking you that. —nvgoddess |
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TortillaFactory |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:08 AM To quote bash.org for the final time, at least today, "He sounds pretty fucking 'spechul' to me." —TortillaFactory |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:11 AM HE WANTS TO GO TO HAWAAAAAAIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! —Dusty TheHick |
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greymatters |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:21 AM None of you guys have ever heard of the term "getting brain?" What's a blowjob? Getting head? What's inside that head? A brain! It's a mainstream slang term. Where have you guys been? It's pop culture, folks. —greymatters |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:22 AM I could pretty reasonably INFER that, grey. I'm not an idiot. It's just an awfully...em...special...way of putting it. —nvgoddess |
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greymatters |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:23 AM I'm not speaking Chinese here, honey. Let's get with the program. Oh, is it a nay or yay? —greymatters |
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steve |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:23 AM My joke is: I'm too busy being blown to worry about what it's called. —steve |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:24 AM That's for me to know. And as for you, well, we all know what you WON'T be finding out. Sorry, dawg. —nvgoddess |
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greymatters |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:25 AM It's neither here nor there. And the answer is yay. Thank you for answering. —greymatters |
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steve |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:27 AM Back to the other question -- So what's your ethnicity Jess? (No wacky joke or anything -- I'm just curious.) —steve |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:28 AM I'm Irish and Scottish. Basically, I'm a white girl. —nvgoddess |
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steve |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:32 AM I'm German, Portuguese, (woo woo)Indian and Irish. —steve |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:33 AM I'm "mutt."
I pretty much have Mayflower on one side of the family, and Eastern-European Jew on the other.
—Dusty TheHick |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:34 AM German, Portuguese, Indian and Irish...wow...that's a combination! Indian, like Native American? Or Indian, like from India? Sorry, I'm a little thick... —nvgoddess |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:36 AM Hehe...thick like not thinking clearly. But thanks, Dusty! —nvgoddess |
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Dusty TheHick |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:37 AM I knew that. 'Dems was jokes. (It's like 4am. They can't ALL be gems, ferchrissakes.) —Dusty TheHick |
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steve |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:38 AM My (maternal) grandmother was an American Indian from North Carolina -- So I'm whatever kind of Indians they have there. —steve |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:38 AM Hehe. Like I said before, it must be the blonde streaks... —nvgoddess |
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greymatters |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:39 AM steve, you like the booze? There's a 23% chance, depending on your grandmother's passion, you could be an addict. —greymatters |
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steve |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:41 AM ^Ha ha... You must be new here -- I don't like the booze, I love the booze -- I'll be celebrating my 2-year sobriety on February 3rd. —steve |
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steve |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:42 AM Thanks babydoll. —steve |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:43 AM Isn't it hard? The sobriety, I mean...;) —nvgoddess |
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steve |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:47 AM To quote Adam, "I have a world class boner." No, in all seriousness, it's weird, but when you decide to quit you just quit -- You almost feel like someone else is controlling your body for you -- So in that sense, it's easier than it was during the previous ten years when I was constantly "trying" to quit -- But yeah, all the stereotypical stuff is true -- I literally fantasize about drinking every day even now after two years. —steve |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:50 AM So you just decided one day to quit? That's impressive. How do you not drink when you feel like it? Do you just have a really strong conscience? (Sorry to pry - you can totally tell me to shut up!) —nvgoddess |
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steve |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:50 AM I watch a lot of cigarette porn. Actually, I date a lot. Girls are like magic. —steve |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:51 AM "Girls are like magic" *bats eyelashes* Well, we like to think so... —nvgoddess |
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steve |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:53 AM Jess -- That's the part that's the hardest to explain -- I literally feel like a different person is "in control" of my body -- It's like the old 'drinkin' steve' has gotten pushed into the back of my brain -- That part of me still exists, but it no longer has control over what I do or say. —steve |
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greymatters |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:54 AM steve, does it count if Jess drinks a big mouthful of alcohol and spits it into your mouth? That doesn't count, right? Your sponsor would understand. —greymatters |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:54 AM That's really cool. I'm totally psyched for you. So did you just wake up one morning and say to yourself, "I think I should quit drinking. Today I will stop."? —nvgoddess |
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steve |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:55 AM Dude, that totally doesn't count -- I'm pretty sure that's on like, the first page of the AA book. —steve |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:55 AM
Edited Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:56 AM "steve, does it count if Jess drinks a big mouthful of alcohol and spits it into your mouth? That doesn't count, right? Your sponsor would understand." Why in the hell would I do something like that? I've done some crazy stuff, but dude, that's just gross. Although I would definitel do some body shots...does that count? —nvgoddess |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:57 AM /\ Like, reaching out and touching someone? —nvgoddess |
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greymatters |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 1:59 AM Well, it sounds like you're interested in the process of quitting. —greymatters |
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steve |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 2:00 AM Thanks baby -- What had happened was I'd gotten to the point where my liver was enlarged -- It feels like having a football surgically implanted in the right side of your abdomen -- I went another two years drinking at least a twelve pack every night, before it really started to hit me, "Oh my god, I'm actually dying from this." I guess it was just stuff like that that helped motivate me to clean up my act. —steve |
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steve |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 2:01 AM By the way, RE: the alcohol in the mouth thing -- My friend Tanya & I used to do that -- We called it "kiss-drinking". —steve |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 2:02 AM Wow. That's really cool, Steve. Good for you!! I think I'd go crazy. Grey...I've never seen this side of you! —nvgoddess |
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nvgoddess |
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Monday, January 31, 2005 at 2:02 AM Kiss-drinking? I like to blow shotguns...but that's a little different. —nvgoddess |
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